From zero to hero in 4 months
Afternoon to all the lovely people of NMP,
I would first like to start my post with a big 'thank you' to all of you. I'm not an active poster, but very much a 'lurker'. Reading your success stories gave me hope that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, reading your trials and tribulations on medication gave me the insight I needed to ensure I was prescribed the right ones for me, and reading your support messages for each other filled me with a warmth which I found endearing. You really are extraordinary people.
Without boring you all too much, a little bit about me:
At 28, and recently married some 12 months before to the love of my life and a truly remarkable gentleman, I had it all. The successful career, the sleek car, the gorgeous house, the money, the lifestyle. It was pretty perfect. I was confident, the go-getter, the problem-solver, the one that was going to reach her first million. Never was I going to suffer from anxiety! WRONG!
30th March 2013 will be etched on my brain for a long time! The night of my first panic attack. It was a bank holiday weekend and by all accounts it was going pretty well, I was relaxed, I had just finished watching 'The Avengers' on the box and went to run a bubble bath.
As I got in the bath, I remember feeling 'odd', although couldn't put my finger on it. A few minutes later my legs started trembling uncontrollably, I felt sick so got out the bath and ending up throwing up. I went to the bedroom and lay on the bed trying to figure out what the hell was going on! Then came the shortness of breath, that's it off to A and E I go as I'm obviously having a heart attack!
3 hours, an ECG and numerous blood tests later, the doctors ruled that I was as healthy as a horse and what I had experienced was panic. OK, no biggy I thought, went home and slept soundly that night.
It all changed the very next morning when I had awoken to be greeted by an unwelcome visitor - ANXIETY!
From that day I had it all: sickness, nausea, loss of appetite, insomnia, racing thoughts, intrusive thoughts, trembling, pit of the stomach type of anxiety, sweaty hands, wooly head and some other transient symptoms like being too aware of my breath. (The last one I particularly hated!).
5 days in to this godawful predicament, I phoned my private health insurance and asked to see a psychologist. Within 48 hours I was in front of one (god bless private healthcare!). Although the first appointment was useful I wanted her to fix me there and then! As we all know recovery simply doesn't happen like that. At this point I was signed off work for 5 weeks.
After a few CBT appointments I had decided to try the medication route. First I was tried on Citalopram for 4 weeks. However for me, it sent my anxiety through the roof and the nausea was unbearable (even diazepam didn't scratch the surface) so my GP switched me to Sertraline for a week, but again I had the same side effects. So GP and I decided to stop them and give my body a break from medication (this was end of May).
Throughout June I tried to beat anxiety med-free and although my symptoms were slowly subsiding it was tough and demoralising as I hadn't fixed myself yet! So not surprisingly I developed some low level depression. It was at this point that I told the GP to prescribe me Pregabalin (having seen a few people here have success with it).
I noticed a marked improvement on Pregabalin almost immediately. The first night I took it and slept right through, I no longer woke with that pit-in-the-stomach feeling, it gave me my appetite back and I no longer felt nauseous! Yeehaw! However it did nothing for my mood, so two weeks into treatment I asked the GP to introduce 15mg Mirtazepine.
It took about 3 weeks for the Mirtazapine to start to lift my mood, but when it did, that in combination with the Pregabalin, meant I was/am starting to feel more like my oldself
I have been on the Mirt and Pregabalin combo for nearly a month now, I'm starting to love life like I used to. I'm back at work full time, visiting the cinema, going for meals and having family BBQs (thanks to the gorgeous UK weather we have been having).
So don't be disappointed if you have to aboard the medication merry go round before you find the right combination for you. There's an arsenal of medication out there, so have faith.
And if you're in the depths of despair, take comfort in that fact that I was there with you once upon a time, and I have come out the other side stronger than before.
You will get back to your oldself, trust me!
Wishing you all good health
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