Severe health anxiety

[Ats666]

Has anyone ever felt that they can't live anymore with the fears they have and how it is impacting them every minute of every day and night?

[sambomonkee]

...in short yes, strange isn't it, that is one of the fears, yet the thought of stopping yourself is a comfort, I suspect its a control thing.

About 3 months ago, I had "given up", and landed my self in Crisis, can't remember too much about it all, other than I was put on Mirt, for two weeks I then saw the light, I actually felt normal, things people took for granted seemed wonderful to me, as now I could appreciate them, without that evil nagging doubt about everything, I can even remember saying to myself, I cannot believe I put myself through it, it makes no sense.

Unfortunately, I am now back a square one, but the only comfort I can take of that 2 weeks is that what ever you feel like, it is possible to feel normal again, not sure what that is yet, but I do know it is possible to get there again, just hope its sooner rather than later.

[Ats666]

I have felt like this since September last year and it is now getting worse. I'm not sleeping or eating properly. My fear is my children growing up without me and that is exactly what is happening as ha is taking over my life. I'm living in fear and can't feel like this anymore. I can't see it getting better. Thank you for replying

[sambomonkee]

September is a short time, I have had it all my life, it just wears you down. Do you think there was a trigger back then that started it?

Either way, I know I'm the last person to suggest it, as if someone suggest it to me, I would have as hard time doing it, but as you seem you need something now try these.

1:- Your GP
2:- Smaritans, you do not need phone them, you can email them as well (whcih I found easier)
3:- Maytree Crisis Centre
4:- Do you have someone to talk too, its very very common for you to NOT want to talk to people you know, its alot easier to talk to a complete stranger, the above will help you out on that one.

At the end of the day if you feel you are at risk, you need to get in front of the GP or away from the situation, I was about to go into the Maytree, when I broke down completely. I did find that once I was dropped on the Crisis team, I was able to mask alot of what I was feeling (I guess you would do the same - Ie putting on "that" face), I suggest you don't do that, easier said than done I know, as it becomes habit, see your GP (Today), and let it all out, make sure the GP knows how bad it really is, as they can only go on what you tell them.

Bloody hell, thats good advice I have given, I should now follow some of that myself

PS - trust me on this, what you are going through is something that I and alot of people have been through, I will not lie, its hard, improvements are limited, but the feeling you are at at present will improve abit. You welcome to PM, me as I have been through it all :(

PSS

On a scale of 1-10, 1 being awful, ready to end it all, 10 being "normal".

[Ats666]

Thank you for your advice I am going to the gp in a minute, I need help. I have suffered ha all my life too (I am 35 now) but managed to keep a handle on it but September it hit me like a freight train and now won't leave me alone...thanks again for your advice

[sambomonkee]

I'm glad, you have more strength than me then, as I don't have the courage to go to the GP again, I do start CBT Friday, but have no hope that will work for me.

Let us know how you get on.

[Ats666]

That was a waste of time, didn't listen to what I was trying to say, said I have to stop thinking like this and the only person who can help me is myself!!!! She prescribed me citalopram which I am now too scared to take as its been in the press today about its possible effect on the heart and as my fear at the moment because of my constant palpitations is my heart. But she did prescribe as well diazepam for the week which I am hoping takes the edge off a bit. I start CBT next week but I am also paying for a councillor who I started seeing last week. Hope your CBT helps you, I have heard very positive things about it

[sambomonkee]

Don't worry about Citropram, I was on 40mg for 7 years!!!, it has long been known in the states that its has caused heart issues, its only recently here that we have downgraded the max to 40mg (I would stress its only causes issues on doses over 40mg) - I suspect you have 10mg??

Diazapam, will take the edge off the anxiety, but its only short term, if not you can get a bit addicted and the effect wears off, Diazapam 2mg does nothing for me anymore, it will not lift mood, but allows the anxiety cycling a chance to break.

I have also seen a councilor, didn't do much for me other than allow me to ramble on, they will not offer any guidance, but will try to get to probe things out of you, you will find you go on right old tagents when you get started.

As feared really, GP's unless you go in there with a knife stuck in you wrist can only do so much, its a shameful situation we are in, in this country, from the GP's reaction was this your first visit to them them about it, you will find that start to take it more seriously the longer it goes on, scant comfort I know, I also know is really hard to convey what is going on locked in your head to the person, as generally when "we" talk we come across as normal and level headed!!

I don't know where your head space is on the scale I gave early, but if you're in the 1-3 range, you need find an outlet, even just typing on here is one, I generally hover around 4-5, and if I drop I know its time act.