I just wanted to say, don't ever think there's no hope, or that you've reached the end of your road. Your opening post reminded me immediately of a very sad, in fact heartbreaking, poem I wrote when I was in my worst phase of anxiety/panic attacks.
Reading it now, it shocks me to remember just how low I felt, and how alone... but here I am years later, I can't tell you how many 100%s better than I was back then - and very glad I didn't do what my sadness was telling me to.
Hang on in there, take one day at a time - you have all the right people in your life now, knowing what you're going through, and they'll get you right. And we're all here too, rooting for you..