multiple health issues, unsure if anxiety related or not
Hi all. This is my first post on here. I found this website because I am a habitual "googler" of my various symptoms. I end up here often as a result. I haven't thought to register until now. These past few days have been the toughest of my life, and I am in need of some support and clarity.
I apologize in advance if this post is too detailed or graphic, or long winded.
For my entire life I have been a constant worrier, mostly about my health. I remember being a 5 year old and being worried that my heart is going to stop beating in my sleep. Now as a 26 year old, I can't tell if I am having a rebound of this health anxiety that has plagued me forever, or if I am experiencing actual health concerns. I should mention that I am also in the process of weening off of Ativan, which has been really hard, but necessary.
It all started a few weeks ago when I walked around Disneyland all day and when I got home I noticed a ton of little red dots, I now know is called "petechiae", all over my lower legs and a few on my abdomen. I promptly went to the doctor the next day and he insured me that everything was fine, and that most people don't even bother to come in with such symptoms. But as a precaution, he wanted to do a CBC blood draw to check my levels. It turned out that I was moderately anemic, but this wasn't news to me. He decided to send me to a specialist, a hematologist, to get a more detailed analysis of what was going on with my blood. The hematologist turned out to be an oncologist as well, which sent me into a panicked state. Though I knew that I wasn't being seen because of signs of cancer, the fact that I was being sent to a specialist who "wore two hats" so-to-speak, was enough for me to worry.
After spending a few days worrying about those issues, I decided to start seeing a therapist to help me get off of my Ativan and learn to cope with my anxiousness without medication. I believe that the Ativan might be the cause of my increase in anxiety, seeing as though I took it every day for about 2 weeks due to getting married and going on my honeymoon, and all of the stress that comes from that. I figured that the Ativan made a home in my system and now my body doesn't quite know how to cope without it.
The hematologist/oncologist did not find anything he was alarmed about, but decided to put me on iron supplements and prenatal vitamins to boost my iron stores, he also wanted to send me to a gastroenterologist to get an endoscopy and colonoscopy to see if anyone could find the cause of my anemia. Seeing that my mother has been diagnosed with celiac disease and ulcerative colitis, I didn't think much of it, and a diagnosis of those things wouldn't be the end of the world for me. My endoscopy/colonoscopy are scheduled for next week.
I have been taking my supplements, and going to all of my appointments. But since this new vitamin regimen started I have been having so many odd and alarming symptoms. Even some that brought me into the Emergency Room. A burning feeling in my chest, and heart palpitations were what put me in the hospital. But the nurses listened to my lungs and hooked me up to have an EKG and monitored me for 3 hours and they found nothing that made them concerned. So I went home and tried to relax.
Other symptoms that have popped up since this vitamin regimen started are: blurred vision, a metallic taste in my mouth, swollen/bleeding gums, lack of appetite, slowed healing time from minor cuts (like a pimple), lethargy, constipation, and (here's the graphic part) I have been having blood in my stool, and a decent amount of it. To the point where I was so alarmed that I went to my doctor to get evaluated, even before my initial consult with the gastroenterologist. After the evaluation, he said it was hemorrhoids.
After all of these minor illness diagnoses I started connecting dots that weren't previously connected. I have had tailbone pain since before that Disneyland trip, I thought it had to do with my long flight for the honeymoon, but I now believe might be the cause of the blood in my stool. And that the blood in my stool might be causing the anemia.
I am scared to death that I have a cancerous tumor in my rectum, and that the cancer has spread to my bone marrow (my blood platelet count keeps going up). I know it is very unlikely, being a 26 year old female with no family history of colorectal cancer, or any other type of early onset cancer. But I can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong with me.
I haven't been able to function normally. Mentally, I can't think of anything else. I don't know how to go on for a whole week like this. I am physically and mentally exhausted from bawling my eyes out thinking that right when I am starting my adult life, something catastrophic is going to stop me from living. I don't know where to go from here. I am at a loss.
Any kind words, or ANYTHING, and I mean anything, would be greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do anymore short of going to a mental hospital. Which would for sure put a strain on my new marriage..even more than all of this anxiety... I am just completely lost, I don't recognize myself anymore... Please help.
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