stressing the night before party

[cat85pink]

Hey

I've suffered from agoraphobia for 11 years,

Tomorrows a very special birthday (well its tonight, as its 3am now)
& im the host,

I have everything ready good to go, & there's nothng more I can do till the afternoon, but I can't get plans off my mind, I can't sleep, feel sick, I just wanna hide, & let my husband sort everything out after he finishes work,

Im also going through CBT and have a routine of exposure I should be trying this week, and its so much harder to try to improve, when my thoughts are else where,

I feel sad that im struggling to cope, my husbands been so helpful with organising things with me, even though he has work, I don't work, I haven't been sleeping or eating well, how can a party just totally take over me like this! And why do I let it, I know I have to remember anxiety passes, it doesn't last or harm me, and the flight or fight feelings of panic is something good I have to face & overcome, but weeks of worry is so stressful to me & my body :|

[frosty2901]

Hi cat
I'm sure it will all be fine my brothers getting married today and I have been worrying about it for weeks as I have to stand up and do a reading of a poem I have been dreading it there will be loads of people there I havent got a clue who they are and I have to stand up in front of them all I feel sick this morning and have a grumbling in my stomach but I keep telling myself it will soon be over with and then I can have fun with everyone else
Frosty xx

[cat85pink]

Thank you for your reply

I managed to get 5 hours sleep, but im determined to keep going

I hope your brothers wedding goes well for you & you get to enjoy it, you're doing a lovely thing doing a reading for them, really brave I can imagine all the worry youve had

[dally]

Hi,
I'm so sorry for you.
All I can say is I've been where you are now. And mostly have met the same challenge as you with success.
Sons 21st, granddaughters christening, family bbc s in my home, very close friends wedding.
All of which I HAD TO BE THERE, and stay, and socialise!!!
I too had weeks of nightmare what iffs
Nausea, diarrhoea and even vomiting.
I did try deep breathing, and listening to relaxation CDs. Which helped off and on.
Two days before the events tho, I did take 2mg x 8hrly before the event and 4mg just when I left the house.
This really helped.

I too was exasperated that I should feel like this for 'happy events' cos I feel the exact same when it's the doc, dentist or a funeral I have to go to!!!!

However, I can say. I did enjoy the events. I did have the odd blip of panic threating to build. which started the stupid negative thoughts. but i did the deep breathing. im so Glad I went. Glad I managed to stay the whole time. And i have good memories.
CBT has been the only thing that has helped me.
And basically I now believe for aggro phobia, it is exposure that is the very best treatment. It has helped me immensely. Not cured me, but helped.
The fact that you organised this party shows just how far you've come!!
Use every bit if CBt training you've had, deep breathe, take meds if you've gt them, I also use rescue remedy and go and thoroughly enjoy yourself!!
Life's too short!! Xxxxx
Ps good luck with the baby

[cat85pink]

Its been a long day, thank you for the replies is nice to think others know how I feel,

Everything took so long I missed dinner but I was too anxious to eat anyway, hubby was great & took the car & didn't drink, I managed to stay out till 10pm we drove my sisters children home for her as they were so tired, I dont think anyone thought anything strange,

Normally id take diazepam for major events but cant now,

I feel better its over, but wonder how I'll manage with pregnancy/labor but I dont have to manage people do just carry on with anxiety,

I told hubby I do not want a 30th party haha

I now how 2 weeks till my next event which is a 40 mile journey each way to the fertility clinic,
I can not let this anxiety stop us from being parents, I will give it my all,

Xx

[frosty2901]

Hi cat
I hope it went ok for you
I did it I rocked I was feeling anxious untill 5 mins before but I got up and looked at the poem it's about golf balls and a mayonnaise jar I darent look at all the people or I would have lost it I still can't believe I stood up in front of nearly 100 people I feel a bit blipy still but wow
Frosty xx

[cat85pink]

Yay! Go you! You put your mind to do something & did it

Well done, I'm so pleased for you, & im sure your family are proud of you

[dally]

Well done,
Hope you're feeling a little euphoric that you did it!!
Seriously consider what your life could be like if you don't push yourself to do things
.i know. We gave to keep going forward. Rem how anxious you felt in the build up to this party, AND that despite this you MANAGED to go!!
Today you're alive and well. No catastrophe happened. Keep reminding yourself of this at your next hurdle . Well done!!

[cat85pink]

Yes very true dally

It's more what might happen, rather than what will.

Hope you are well

[frosty2901]

Yes very true dally

It's more what might happen, rather than what will.

Hope you are well

deffanatly I spend my life thinking the worse will happen which usually doesn't but that's not what my head says

I had many people come up to me yesterday and say I had done well and these people don't even know who I am and that I suffer anxiety so it goes to show if you really put your mind to something you can do it

the only thing I had to get me through it was the two sprays of rscue remedy on my toung 2 mins before and the knowledge that my passed loved ones were surrounding with there love

cat I wish the best of luck with your fertility clinic visit and just think when its all over and done with you will have a beautiful baby

dally you have very lovely words and its true imagine how our lifes would be if we give in to the thoughts that stop us living our lives all the time

frosty xx