Anxiety triggered over a friend, need advice.

[ReissG]

I am extremely shaken up. My best friend has been suffering with depression and anxiety for such a long time, years and she has relied on me to keep her strong, but the past few weeks have got harder and it's spiralling out of control. She trusts me more then any other friend and more then her entire family and I have never told anyone a secret of hers, but tonight she told me that early this morning she took a whole packet of her anxiety pills to make her black out and it shocked me so much I had to do something. Shes been saying for a while I am her only reason for living right now, she is so tired and doesn't want to be here. 2 years ago she smashed a mirror and completely sliced herself to pieces, was sectioned for a few days and come home. She is extremely mentally unstable and at the moment she is living with her mother who has no idea what it feels like to go through anything like her own daughter is. She treats my friend like crap, her own mother makes her feel like she is nothing and it's made her lose trust for her entire family, this aswell as some very serious stuff thats happened in her past, she just doesn't want to let them in anymore.

The thing is, her brother and dad are the perfect family members you could ask for, yes they are a little ignorant but they will always have her best interests at heart. So tonight when I found out she had taken the pills, along with telling me she is so close to suicide, I called her brother and asked him to pick me up and broke down to her brother and father, I had to tell them everything.

She currently lives with her mother but we have made a plan to get her back here with us so we can all sit down with her and tell her we are here now and we are going to help her. She has admitted she needs help, so she has taken the very first step.

But I am beating myself up so much, I can't stop crying. The fear she will never trust me again, that I will break her heart and she will hate me forever, I can't stop the thoughts coming into my mind. I have never told anyone a secret about her, but when she told me her life was at risk I felt like I had no choice, I know deep down I did the right thing, but the fact I've gone against her word will hurt her so much.

Do you think I did the right thing? I am so scared right now, she is my best friend and I love her with all my heart, I don't know what would happen if I lost her.

[Daisy Sue]

You did exactly the right thing. For those we care about in this life, we can only do the very best we can to help. You'd feel terribly guilty if you did nothing & kept all this secret, if the worst did ever happen.

As friends or family of someone who's suffering so much, it's really hard to know what to do - we're not professionals - so all we can do really is show love & support, and try to make things easier for that person, and if necessary, guide them to the professionals who can really help.

She's very lucky to have you.

I hope she can make that move to her Dad's - maybe without the daily stress of living with her mother, she can start to get her confidence back & start to heal.

[Edie]

You did the right thing. Not the easy thing, but the right thing. I do hope your friend will realise this, but the most important thing is that she will be better looked after as a result of you.

[BobbyDog]

That is such a sad story, you certainly did the right thing, that must have been so difficult for you, you do have her best interest at heart and are a wonderful friend to her, hopefully one day she will be well enough to thank you for it, it doesn't sound as though she is capable of making a rational decision for herself at the moment. You also need to look after yourself as well, and put yourself first. If it gets any worse, or if you feel she is a danger to herself, you could call the crisis team, or discuss it with her father and brother.

[Annie0904]

You certainly did do the right thing. Sometimes when a persons life is at risk we just have to act in their best interests even if it is breaking a confidence. I had to do this many times in my last role at work and luckily the young people involved knew that I had acted in their best interests and still had trust in me. You have shown a very caring attitude in doing this and I know it won't have been easy for you. I hope your friends now gets the help needed.

[Col]

Gosh reiss , as said you did the right thing! Think about how bad you'd feel if you hadn't have called for help & the worse did happen.

Hugs XXX

[Tufty]

You definitely did the right thing.

You had no other option, by doing what you have you have given your friend the chance to recover and find the help she needs. She may not recognise this as a good thing initially but in time, as she recovers she will thank you for it.

It takes a lot of strength and is emotionally draining to support a close friend who is in turmoil, I hope you have support and can talk to people about how it is affecting you. Please remember we are here for you.
Sam

[bagpuss75]

She is so lucky to have a friend like you and even if she doesn't appreciate it now, she will do in the future.
You did absolutely the right thing - it must have been very difficult.
Sending you huge hugs.