Tufty's diary

[Emphyrio]

I've decided to stop tonight. I'll give it a week and see what happens - if things get bad I will always reinstate. I've been taking it since late June this year. I've been on it twice before - once from 2003-early 2008 and again from late 2008-mid 2011. Since mid 2011 I have tried citalopram and clomipramine (the latter for only 11 days, the side effects were absolutely horrendous) - I just wanted to get back on the fluox for stability but found that this time I was hugely sensitive to it - restless legs and no libido was the order of the day. Its funny how a year can make such a huge difference...all I can hope is that I've not caused any lasting damage to my mind/body between mid 2011 and now (I did drink a lot over Christmas too as I was feeling down, which didn't do anything for my health whatsoever).

[Tufty]

Day 11, feeling 7/10
Starting to feel quietly confident that I don't need the Prozac and maybe I don't need anything else either. I know it's still early days but I was on such a low dose of Prozac there can't be much left in my system now.
Felt good all day but busy and mind was racing alittle earlier and I started to get panicky so sat down, had a drink and it passed.
I've been looking into the causes of a tingly sore mouth and tongue and have made an appointment with my doc tomorrow and am going to ask for a Vit 12 blood test. I'm not very good at asking for stuff but I've not had bloods for ages and am going to stay strong, I've got lots of the symptoms of b12 deficiency, many of which coincide with anxiety symptoms, there's a family history of blood and metabolic disoders and this tongue thing is driving me nuts. I'm more confident since stopping the Prozac, I've put all my symptoms down to anxiety for a long time but now feel I need to make sure there is nothing else going on.
Love to all
Sam

[clio51]

sam I have my b12 checked recently and it came back low we have a deficiency in our family so I was worried. Doc told me to take a good quality multi vit so I got biocare from amazon I had to take it for a month and have it retested, this time it came back ok so multi vit worked.

Glad you are doing well, hope you didn't spend to much money on line lol

xx

ps also having corisol check read on doctor's notice board about this, it's to do with adrenal glands. also thyroid test

[Tufty]

Thanks for that advice Brenda, I've had my thyroid tested and whole barrage of tests on my adrenal glands years ago but I don't think I've ever had my b12 checked. I've got two mouth ulcers today which I hope will give the doc evidence to request a test without me pushing it too much. One of the problems with anxiety is that every pain, twitch, spot, itch or whatever is put down to anxiety - doctors seem blind to any other cause once you've got that 'anxiety tag' on your records. I've lived with the sore red tongue thing for 12 years on and off and don't mention it usually because I have thought - oh its due to anxiety, or an allergy, or my acne, but now I'm feeling stronger and more confident, I'm going to try to get to the bottom of it.
Docs in an hour
Will let you know how it goes
Sam

[Tufty]

Day 12. 7/10
Still OK, a little more anxious today but got mouth ulcers and a sore throat. I've been happier at home just mooching around, something I found difficult when very anxious before.
I've been to the docs and will have my bloods done tomorrow. He is sceptical that any of my symptoms are b12 related but I've nothing to loose and will feel happier once I know it's not that.
Anyway I'm off to bed after getting the kids lunches and my sons cooking stuff ready for tomorrow. I'm working all day tomorrow and then an open evening at school so am hoping this sore throat disappears overnight
Love Sam

[Tufty]

Day 13, 5/10 - poorly with a sore throat, cold, mouth ulcers and had several panic attacks.
Well the sore throat didn't disappear overnight and I didn't sleep will because of the discomfort, I took 2mg Diazepam at midnight because I could feel myself getting tense but didn't sleep for long. Full of cold now, feeling achy, hot and cold and generally naff.

I started getting waves of panic at 10am and they have come and gone all day, I don't know how I stayed at work feeling so ill but I did and am now home in bed. I often get anxious when I'm poorly but unfortunately I'm often ill with colds, sore throats and ear infections. Feeling very low and sorry for myself tonight.

I had my bloods done and my B12 is OK, the range is 200 - 1000 and mine in 370 so normal my burning tongue must be due to madness then. I will continue taking the supplements though as although they haven't seen off this cold I was feeling well until yesterday evening.

Anyway, will wait to see how I feel after this blip before starting the Escitalopram - if I feel OK I'll delay it longer. I read the medication posts with interest, it does seem that most people on medication have blips as much as those off medication or is that only how it seems because they only post during the blips?? I don't know but am confident and hopeful that the panic today is not due to the lack of prozac but because I feel poorly. I'll carry on regardless until I'm sure I want to start the new meds
Onwards and upwards
Sam

[swgrl09]

well, to answer your question in the last paragraph this is my comparison with blips before and after being on medication: I get blips once in a while now, although I have only been on a few months now. Before I was on medication, it was like the blip never ended. I was always depressed and anxious with very few days of relief. I know I am struggling now, but like my thread describes, that is for different reasons.

---------- Post added at 15:27 ---------- Previous post was at 15:27 ----------

but yes, people don't post really anymore when they feel great ... some do, but more people post about concerning events than those who do well.

[Tufty]

Thanks for the response swgrl, I guess I'm hoping that I can make it without meds and that's why I'm questioning if medication does work, I think that's a sign that I'm feeling ok and optomistic, I know if I do start a never ending blip I will jump straight back on the meds.
Day 14 - 6/10, streaming cold but no panic.
Slept poorly because of head cold but made it into work only to be sent home because I looked pale, sweaty and ill - which I am
So I've spent the day resting and am starting to feel a little better.
Physically - aforementioned cold (which includes headache and achy limbs) but the tingling tongue is much improved today, no palpitations or chest pain, normal appetite
Mentally - tired and a bit fed up because of the cold but OK, no panic, little anxiety and feeling pretty good.
2 weeks without meds and 16 weeks of taking an average of 6mg a day, I don't think there can be much active Prozac left in me. I think I'm halfway through the withdrawl period and so far much better than expected
Hopefully this cold will clear up soon, I'm taking lots of supplements, drinking lots of water, eating well and resting and feeling optomistic.
Love Sam

[Tufty]

Day 15, 6/10 cold still streaming and a little anxiety.
Managed to work for 5 hours but feel exhausted. Feeling a bit anxious tonight, I think this is because my husband is being a bit off with me and I'm still running a temperature and feeling ill.
Hoping tomorrow is better

[Tufty]

Day 16, 7/10 - still got a cough, cold but less anxiety
Had a day at home, doing some online shopping and housey stuff
Feeling hungry alot of the time but trying not to eat rubbish
Working tomorrow morning and then off for 2 days
Feeling pretty good