Tufty's diary

[Tufty]

I'm still here, still struggling on

I saw a GP last Monday who increased Pregabalin to 350mg, by Friday the anxiety was even higher so I saw another GP who increased it to 450mg and told me to take regular Diazepam until I am over this episode. I do have faith in the last GP though and am seeing him again next week to review my meds and see how I am. My weekly CBT is OK, but not great. I'm functioning at a reduced level, pushing myself to go out and do normal stuff but I feel exhausted, fed up and very scared most of the time.

I don't like posting negative stuff so I won't go on.

Sorry to those friends I have made on here for not messaging - I'm just getting through each day and trying to distract and keep myself away from reading about anxiety.

Thank you for your kind messages and posts, I'll get there it's just taking longer than I had ever imagined.

Love Sam x

[clio51]

Sam,

It's not negative,it's how it is and I think all of us have bad times and at the end of our tether with it.but sometimes(not always) I come on and I don't feel alone in the symptoms I get and that I'm not going mad and there normal for depression/anxiety suffers even though I should know having had it on/off 30 years.

It's a long hard road! And it's very hard to decide what to do next. We do just battle/plod on each day and it's bloody hard going. Anyway good to hear from you, was thinking how you were going on especially when I havnt seen you post.

Take care xx

[SarahH]

Hi Sam,

Keep going! I know what you mean about sometimes not coming on NMP. I feel like that too sometimes.
I hope the pregabalin increase is working for you

xx

[Tufty]

Same old I'm afraid. I increased the Pregabalin to 450mg and I felt more motivated and less worried about the anxiety for a few day but now it's back to the same level as usual. I'm carrying on as normal, except work which I haven't been at for 5 months now, I'm doing all the normal day to day stuff despite having a feeling that my chest is about to explode, a numb chin, lips and cheeks (face not bum!), palpitations and generally feeling naff.

The CBT is continuing, I recognise that sometimes my negative thinking is exacerbating and on some occasions causing my anxiety and am working on challenging those thoughts. However, the physical feelings of anxiety are there nearly constantly - if I wake in the night, when I'm occupied and distracted, it is very draining. I think the numb face thing is Pregabalin induced and adds to my feeling of unease.

I saw my GP yesterday who has suggested Dosulepin. I thought he was going to suggest increasing the Pregabalin to 600mg he said if it wasn't working at 450mg then 600mg was unlikely to work. I am inclined to agree after reading the posts on here and the evidence regarding Pregabalin. So I am to start 25mg Dosulepin tonight and continue with the Pregabalin. I am more anxious today, unsurprisingly but it has been increasing for the last few weeks and although it feels unbearable I know I can cope with it and it will subside at sometime during the day.

I will report back after a few days on the Dosulepin, I'm expecting a good nights sleep, to feel drowsy in the day, dry mouth and constipation, those side effects I can cope with, I just pray it helps with the agitation I am feeling.

Love to all

Sam xxx

[BobbyDog]

I only take 300mg of Pregabalin and I find it a suitable dose - nothing will take the anxiety away, that is up to ourselves. Easier said than done I know!!

[SarahH]

Hi Sam,

Sorry the pregabalin is not working as well as you hoped. Not heard of the new drug you have been prescrided but I so hope it works for you.

hang in there and I am sure you will eventually find the right drug combo.



Sarah

---------- Post added at 15:43 ---------- Previous post was at 15:39 ----------

Ah! just looked it up...it used to be called Dothiepin... a Tricyclic.......hope it works Sam.
You may feel dizzy as it lowers the blood pressure which is why I could not deal with it as I have low blood pressure anyway.

Sarah xx

[clio51]

Hi Sam,

What can I say! Sorry thing's are not much better for you yet!!
Your attitude is excellent well done as I know it's extremely hard trying to carry on as normal(is there a normal)

Wish you all the luck with the new med luv, I will be thinking of you.

Look forward to your update, and take care. Xxx

[hanshan]

Hi Sam,

Hope the pregabalin-dosulepin combination works for you. Pregabalin can be combined with other medications, so it's worth a shot.

[Tufty]

Thank you for the kind messages everyone.

Bobbydog - I am more anxious on 450mg than I was on 300mg funnily enough, I get facial numbness and more palpitations at the higher dose but distinguishing what is the drugs and what is my own anxiety is impossible. I'm hoping these new drugs, which are sedating, will help me forget the anxiety for a while as even though I am continuing with normal day to day activities my anxiety is nearly constant and very draining. I don't expect them to take the anxiety away, but I would like some headspace to be able to function without the constant feelings of dread.

Sarah - I've tried tricyclics in the past but not this one and they did make me feel faint. I've been started on a low dose so hopefully I can manage the side effects. I am disappointed with Pregabalin, it really was wonderful for the first 6 weeks but I don't think it's doing anything now and as I mentioned above, I think I'm getting more side effects than benefits at 450mg.

Brenda - this has been a long and bumpy road has it not? Luckily I don't feel depressed and still feel motivated and want to try different drugs in the belief that they will help. It's not from want of trying that I'm still on this bloody road!

Hanshan - thank you. I knew Pregabalin and Mirtazapine were a popular duo but wasn't sure about it being combined with other drugs, but I trust my doctor. When I tried it with Sertraline and Fluoxetine it didn't seem to do much and I still had the start up anxiety and now it seems to have pooped out. If this new drug does help me get a grip on my panic and anxiety I won't know if it's the synergy of both drugs or the Dosulepin alone but in the future I will consider reducing the Pregabalin first.

So far, OK ish, 2 days of 25mg Dosulepin. Anxiety is still high with even higher peaks during the day. I am sleeping deeper though and feel tired on waking, a little light headed when first getting up but basically no change to my level of anxiety. I start each new drug expecting amazing fast results - that's the positive thinking me and maybe I set myself up to fail because the drugs don't live up to my expectations. Anyway, it's slowly, slowly with the new drug, I am due to increase to 50mg on Monday night but have an occupational health appointment at 9am on Tuesday so will probably postpone that for another day.

I am feeling a little despondent, I think that's due to having high anxiety for over a week now with no little let up. Sometimes I feel like my heart may actually beat out of my chest, it's no fun being anxious all the time.

Love Sam x

[SarahH]

Hi Sam,

If you can keep updating us that would be great...but obviously you may just want to focus on yourself at the moment. Good luck with the Occ Health appointment. You could try reducing the pregabalin slightly if you think it is giving you more anxiety....take care xxx