Re: Death related panic?
Hi, all I can tell you is how I coped with it; it may or may not be helpful.
Many years ago I lived with this on a daily basis. And one day it struck me that what you have said is true. We could all die at any moment. Then I realised - we WILL all die. (Bear with me!)
This realisation is such a common human moment that it has its own name from centuries past: Intimations of Mortality.
For me, the answer was realising that older people mainly live without this daily fear, and so there must be something in the aging process which reduces the fear. And I realised that it must have its roots in 'familiarity breeds contempt'.
So... I thought about death. A lot. I faced the thought out whenever it struck me, with little phrases in my head such as, "Yeah, of course I'm going to die! I'm a human." I think my personal breakthrough came when I had a really strong mental image of my descendants looking through a faded album and seeing my daughters and me, talking through how they couldn't quite remember our names or where we lived... and suddenly I had a blinding moment of seeing it all as a continuity, that it is all ok. I realised that I don't even know my great-grandma's names without stopping to think hard, yet they were just as present in their own lives as I am in mine. It took a little while but I stuck with it as my fear diminished. I guess it is akin to exposure therapy.
Suddenly I came to a point where it all felt... okay. It took me a while but my intuition was that I had to face it - because of all the problems we have, this is the one which will not go away. And I didn't want to live my life in fear of the inevitable.
I'm 53 tomorrow. I have occasionaly "Whoooaaaa!" moments when I am struck by the reality of death. Personally I think it is a great gift to know about it ahead of time - so we can ignore all our petty health stuff and LIVE AND ENJOY life - it's such a wonderful thing to be alive, to be able to see clouds, feed ducks, hug babies... just get out there and make the most of EVERY DAY.
This may not hit the spot for you, in which case I apologise - but perhaps it will help someone who reads it.
All the very best.
Gill x
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All manner of thing shall be well... (Julian of Norwich)