My health anxiety has changed

[Darren1]

Hi

There is one striking change in my health anxiety which got bad in May this year worrying about swollen lymph nodes.

Since that time my mind has been in panic 'what is it' mode, going to the doctor every week, demanding tests etc. Really trying hard to get to the bottom of it.

I have had blood tests galore, Full body ct scan, chest xray - all normal.

I have also been taking antidepressants for 6 weeks and diazapam for 3 weeks - both these medications have certainly calmed me down and I think it's more the antidepressants than diazapam because I can go a day without taking diazapam and feel no different. I take the diazapam each morning more like an insurance policy. But I am not posting this message to discuss diazapam... Anyhow back to the point....

After the 'all clear' CT scan I decided to STOP going to the doctors for 2 weeks and give myself a break - I have done this very successfully and almost had a normal life for 2 weeks! The next step when visiting the GP is to discuss what is causing this neck pain and maybe pay for a private MRI scan.

NOW here is what has CHANGED dramatically in my mind.

I am now too scared to go back to the doctors and start this rigmarole all over again - previously I was knocking the surgery door down but now my mind has started to think differently.

I am in an 'OK' state of mind, been busy at work, socially more active etc etc. But ultimately in the back of my head I know I need to pursue more tests for this neck pain and now deep down i feel 'it must be serious'.

My mind now feels like 'putting off' going to the doctors because I dont want to ruin where I am....also in my darkest thoughts I feel that the fact i DONT know whats wrong, is almost better than finding out I have a serious terminal illness.

Im not sure if ive made sense but does anyone get me?

[i love tea]

I really don't think you need to pursue more tests at all. Why do you need to?

Have you been to an osteopath or chiropractor yet? This is much more likely to help you with neck pain than pursuing expensive tests when the serious stuff has already been ruled out.

If you made an appointment today, you could be feeling much better by the end of the week. Do you want to feel better? (Genuine question.)

[Darren1]

that is a good point. i have not tried anything alternative except reiki.

I really do want to feel better and i can't keep taking pain killers so going to have to face this eventually. I will lookup osteopath/chiropractor later. thanks

[littlemisschatterbox]

Being happy in NOW sounds good x

[i love tea]

Ive not tried a chiropractor but have been to an osteopath several times, and it's amazing the kinds of aches and pains that they can help with. Just make sure they have the correct registrations. Where do you live? I can help you with Coventry / Stratford-upon-Avon recommendations!

[Fishmanpa]

Sounds like the meds are working. It takes time for your body to acclimate. Why mess with it if it's working?

It's an interesting mindset however. There was a member that posted he didn't feel right if he wasn't worrying. Almost like he had a co-dependent relationship with his HA. Perhaps you have a little bit of that going on?

At any rate, glad to read about someone who has actually taken steps to treat their HA.

[Darren1]

Ive not tried a chiropractor but have been to an osteopath several times, and it's amazing the kinds of aches and pains that they can help with. Just make sure they have the correct registrations. Where do you live? I can help you with Coventry / Stratford-upon-Avon recommendations!

Hi

I'm a bit confused as to which would be better - had a look online and still non the wiser.

I live nearby in Solihull so guessing there will be lots of local people although if you highly recommend someone then happy to look/travel PM me!

---------- Post added at 14:11 ---------- Previous post was at 14:07 ----------

Sounds like the meds are working. It takes time for your body to acclimate. Why mess with it if it's working?

It's an interesting mindset however. There was a member that posted he didn't feel right if he wasn't worrying. Almost like he had a co-dependent relationship with his HA. Perhaps you have a little bit of that going on?

At any rate, glad to read about someone who has actually taken steps to treat their HA.

You have hit the nail on the head with me! - Since as far as I can remember, I've aways had a worry and sometimes I would forget what I was worried about and then suddenly my mind would come up with the question "hang on a minute, what was I worried about?" and then I remember.

[AuntieMoosie]

Hello Darren,

I must, first of all, say that you're sounding a lot more positive now with a very healthy outlook on life and that is wonderful to hear

You know what Darren?? Anxiety is a real strange thing, we seem to get so used to having it and feeling it that when it goes, we're kind of lost!!.....I know that sounds nuts, but it is true, many people have said that they kind of "miss" their anxiety. I think this happens because our bodies and minds get so used to feeling like that, that we kind of think it's normal, so when it goes, it then kind of feels a little abnormal!! lol

Darren I think it's fantastic that you don't feel that you need to visit your doctor so much now, wow!!! that's brilliant

And that, in itself, tells us that you don't feel that you need to be constantly reassured by your doctor anymore now...........and do you know why???.......and this is the best bit...................because you've learned to do that yourself, you now have that confidence and belief in "Darren".......to reach this stage is brilliant Darren

With regards to your neck issue, have you had any investigations regarding it at all Darren?

How long has the neck pain being going on for?

To try to reassure you a little, necks are funny things Darren, they take the weight of our heads, which doesn't feel a lot, but which does weigh a lot. Also you think of all of the movements that our necks have to make each day, must be thousands, so it isn't really surprising that it can give us some stick from time to time I'm not a doctor, so I wouldn't even want to guess what it may be, but I would doubt it's anything serious


I think the reason that you're now frightened to return to your doctor is because you're now associating your doctor with your anxiety sweetie, you feel that it may trigger your anxiety again.

You probably wont like this bit, but believe me when I say that this is the only way to put that right.

When you feel ready, go back to your doctor, and remember that not one place and not one person or object can make you feel anxious, what makes us feel anxious is "US"!! it all comes from our own thoughts. So we have to work at it a little.

So firstly, try not to think that visiting your doctor is going to provoke anxiety.............why would it??? nothing bad is going to happen to you there, you're just going there for some advice to help yourself

If, when you're there you notice your anxiety rising a little, don't fight it, just accept it, ride it out and challenge it. Anxiety tells us big fat lies Darren!!

I know it sounds hard, and by goodness, sometimes it is!! but you know, the only way to tackle fear, and that's all it really is, is to face it. I've been doing that for months now Darren, I never thought that I could ever do it, but I am, sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's harder, but I still do it and it is working


You've have made excellent progress Darren and I'm really proud of you

Keep going sweetie and don't let any anxiety knock you down. You probably will feel it from time to time, I still do, but don't let it frighten you, it cannot ever hurt you in anyway.

You know where I am if you need me Darren

[HoneyLove]

Darren have you ever considered going to a physiotherapist about the neck pain? Has your GP ever suggested it? They may be very qualified to help you get to the root of the pain, if your mucles are stiff they will be able to see and feel it. They may also be able to help you identify what might be causing it, like bad posture, sleeping on your stomach, jaw clenching etc.

My physio has been working wonders on my neck and shoulder pain, when I originally went to him for a balance problem.

The same as you, I woke up one morning back in November with terrible neck pain and it hasn't been the same since. Unfortunately at the time I was having a severe balance problem and we thought that it was the source of the neck pain, however it seems now that the tightness in my neck, shoulders and jaw are what's actually triggering the imbalance. Now that I know that we're finally working on loosening up the mucles and it's taking time but it's working

It's amazing what toll chronic pain can take on your life - when I get relief from it my whole mood, my whole being, changes.

[Darren1]

im going to see a chiropractor and see how that goes. im not rushing into anything cos im kinda enjoying being atleast 'ok'