The beast returns

[Kim51]

Just when I thought I was taming the beast, it has returned with vengeance, I have been awake since early hours with panic/anxiety affecting breathing, it's been weeks since I was like this, and has really disappointed me, knocked me for six, I know I have to be positive and restart the fight, but as so many of you know it's not always that easy, especially when you have everyday worries. I have been off work since April and my full pay stops in October, down to half pay, I am on my own now and I think the stress of knowing I am probably not fit to return to the stress of teaching and only getting half pay has restoked the fire. Why oh why are some of chosen to carry this burden in life and others are able to cope with all the crap that is thrown at them.
If you have read this thank you, like many others I just needed to vent my feelings and distress
Kim

[Col]

Ahhh Kim x

Sooo very sorry for u. The financial knock on effect of anxiety and as if anxiety isn't difficult enough to cope with on it's own! But then like dominos , everything in your life comes crashing down. I can relate to this, I know the money will worry you but worrying about your finances will compound your stress - just keep thinking about getting better & I know October is only around the corner BUT this worry will only prolong any return to a normal working life.

Takecare c

[Annie0904]

Kim, half pay may not be as bad as it sounds as you will also be able to get ESA. Your HA should send the paperwork to you to apply for it...mine did.

[Kim51]

Kim, half pay may not be as bad as it sounds as you will also be able to get ESA. Your HA should send the paperwork to you to apply for it...mine did.

Thanks Annie I didn't realise this xx

[daisydaisy]

Hi Kim,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I can relate as I am off work long term sick for health reasons. My full sick pay ends around December and it's unlikely that I will be back then. I did speak with my HR team and apparently you are also paid SSP so I think it will be roughly two thirds of my pay which I think I can just about manage on possibly. Will you get SSP too or is that already included in your current entitlement?

Annie I didn't know you could also claim ESA- I thought that was only when SSP had stopped and you were not in work as such?

Kim would it be worth trying to apply for PIP? Apologies if you have already done this. I know lots of people have had difficulties with this but in the field of work I'm in I have known clients get some elements of support.

Xx Daisy

[Kim51]

Hi Kim,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I can relate as I am off work long term sick for health reasons. My full sick pay ends around December and it's unlikely that I will be back then. I did speak with my HR team and apparently you are also paid SSP so I think it will be roughly two thirds of my pay which I think I can just about manage on possibly. Will you get SSP too or is that already included in your current entitlement?

Annie I didn't know you could also claim ESA- I thought that was only when SSP had stopped and you were not in work as such?

Kim would it be worth trying to apply for PIP? Apologies if you have already done this. I know lots of people have had difficulties with this but in the field of work I'm in I have known clients get some elements of support.

Xx Daisy

Hi Daisy, my SSP runs out in October too, so I will just be down to half pay, I didn't know about the ESA, I really need to be able to get back to work as even with ESA on top of half pay I will be unable to cover my out goings and eat!! I have not looked into PIP thanks for mentioning it, I will look into it, I have never ever been in this position before and unaware of the options out there.
Thanks for your reply and good luck with your recovery

[Annie0904]

I am not sure what I was getting to be honest It may have been SSP but I was sent for an ATOS assessment while I was still employed. I got the lower rate until I was assessed then changed to the higher rate ESA but I had left work by then.

[daisydaisy]

Hi Kim, I know it is a worry, i don't want to sound patronising but I promise you will be ok as there are things you can put in place to cover outgoings etc and all your friends here we will support you. As Annie mentioned do have a look into what benefits you may be entitled to as I know it won't be quite as much as your salary but it could help in the short term. Do you have a union you can turn to as well for advice? I have used the service Turn 2 Us to make calculations about various benefits and I have recommended to others on here before too- it's free and impartial.

Annie- never heard of that before going to the ATOS assessment whilst in work but I guess they know what they are doing (or not!) perhaps you were in the work related activity group? It's such a minefield! I cannot believe the PIP forms- they are around 40 pages! I'm dreading if I am called for the ATOS assessment but currently I can't go out without someone with me (due to the risk of seizures etc) so I'm hoping they can come to me! Will let you know how I get on!

Xx Daisy

[Annie0904]

I was still employed when they sent for me to go for my ATOS assessment and yes I was put in the work related group. My employment terminated a couple of weeks after the assessment medical. I wasn't actually working though, I was on the sick and had to send my sick note to the ESA centre and a copy of it to my employer.