Need help and advice desperately please!

[justsickofit]

Hello everyone,

First time poster- This post belongs in health anxiety, anxiety, panic attacks and depression...so I've just posted it here. If its more suited elsewhere, please let me know.

My story is fairly long, but I'll try to summarise as much as possible. I am 23, male and just finished uni. For the past 4 months I've been suffering from 'lab' (labyrinthitis) with varying degrees of symptoms inc. nausea, vertigo, dizziness, light headedness, anxiety, panic attacks, breathlessness, vision problems etc.

I've recently had MRIs and blood tests done - all came back okay so it's nothing serious. After a long long long wait, I also had an appt with an ENT specialist who (after a few coordination testes etc.) said that there was nothing wrong with my ears and he actually thinks its NOT labyrinthitis though most of my symptoms match it. For this reason, I have now been asked to come in for further tests in another 6 weeks or so.

During these 4 months, I've had some horrible panic attacks. I've suffered from all 'lab' symptoms and all anxiety symptoms. I have noticed that my 'lab' symptoms have reduced while at the same time my anxiety has completely taken over.

I don't know which is worse.

Right now, I feel like I'm in a constant on-the-verge-of-an-attack feeling and I am also hyperconscious about my breathing. So its fair to say that my priority is to deal with the anxiety until my next ENT appointment.

I need help.

Current symptoms
-Blocked ear/pressure in ear head feeling (no earwax issues)
-Popping ear everytime I swallow/yawn
-Feel lopsided when I walk, usually on the left hand side
-Recently- issues with vision, strained eyes feeling- cross-eyed feeling. See flashes of lights and movements that arent there. Sensitivity to bright lights.
-Brain fog, drowsiness, drunk like feeling
-Head movements causing diziness
- A feeling of...I can only best describe it as slow reaction or lag. For example if I move my head to look at something...it feels like my eyes registers it slowly after a few seconds. Its really hard to explain.


Depression
At this point, I should have been employed after graduating. Instead I am stuck at home, in fact my life has been put on hold for 4 months and it is very depressing. I know 4 months is nothing to chronic sufferers, but it seems very unfair to me that this has happened while I'm still so young and it feels like it will be there forever. Just makes me feel like I wont be able to do anything I want.

I have been unable to meet friends, socialise, drive...do anything at all!

Anxiety
I feel like if I can control this, most of my problems will disappear. My 'lab' symptoms are still DEFINITELY there. I can feel them 24/7, they aren't as bad as they were at the start but it still has a detrimental effect. The current symptoms include sudden jerking movements like I am about to fall. Sudden dizzy spells even when I am sitting still. Ofc whenever I get these symptoms they cause my anxiety to flare up massively!

And anything can trigger it, from hot showers, hot weather to bright lights etc.


I can go on forever describing every little detail but I doubt it will do much good. The lab symptoms definitely trigger the anxiety but as I cant do anything about that till my next ENT appt, the only thing I can focus on is controlling my anxiety.

Questions
So, in addition to any points or comments anyone would like to make on my essay (sorry) above, I have some questions,

1- Has anyone been in a situation similar to mine? If yes, how are you coping?/ how did you cope with it? and how long did it last?
2- Can anyone give me any pointers or lead me to material that will help me control my anxiety?
3- Has anyone had symptoms similar to mine, if yes how did you manage them?
4- Does anyone have any opinions on what it is that I am suffering from? Is it just anxiety?
5- Will this problem only resolve once my 'lab' symptoms go away? Because it seems like they'll be with me for ever, in which case what can I do to battle the anxiety?
6- Any other hints and tips?

Thank you in advance,
Justsickofit.

[JulesR]

Hi there,

I've been suffering similar 'on/off' for a number of years. I'm 47 female and I've had really good spells of feeling OK. But, when these feelings 'strike' I have no rational thought or thinking.

Usually it's when I have nothing to worry about. It feels like I'm in flight/fright mode all the time. it's the kind of feeling you have when you're in a car that brakes suddenly, the feeling of that adrenaline rush, but it stays with me.

I can be fairly OK relaxing TV and then all of a sudden my heart will miss a beat, start racing. I'll feel just like you described, most of those symptoms that over a period of a lot of years I've had most checked. I've had heart monitors, been rushed to A & E etc etc etc and wanting that reassurance I'm not having a hear attack, got a brain tumor, having a stroke.

How do I cope? Not sure if I do at times. Don't get me wrong, I hold down a good job, have a solid marriage and good friends. It's as though my 'everything' is tinged with that nagging feeling of anxiety and waiting for it to get worse. At moment I've started with acid/heartburn. I've now got myself into such a state I can't focus on anything else. Any plans for weekend I'll go through with but I'll be preoccupied with my symptoms and probably end up not been able to get to sleep as I'll be waking up suddenly every touch and turn with my heart pounding.

I can reassure you that it is possible to feel much better. I did try accupunture and it really helped. I was able to relax and felt all these negative thoughts couldn't penetrate through to allow me to dwell on them. i hope it helps that you're not alone. Stay strong, JulesR

[Darbysa]

Jules
Your story is almost identical to mine and while it helps to know you are not alone it doesn't make those horrible feelings any easier to deal with. It's almost like out of the blue someone flicks on a switch somewhere in my brain and I have to ride it out until the switch flicks to off. That's how it is for me, starts from nowhere and finishes abruptly. Could be a few minutes, could be a few days. Like you, I cope, just.

Justsickofit
This all started for me with what you describe as lab symptoms. I started to have periods of dizziness, sometimes short bursts of extreme spinning and other times just permanently feeling off balance like being on a rocking boat. I was about the same age as you are now. I had all the tests and had a hard time accepting there was nothing wrong with me but it did eventually settle and for many years I was symptom free.
About 15 years ago it all came back. No rhyme or reason. Again I struggled with acceptance. I think I do have underlying ear problems albeit nothing that can be detected. I often have that pressure you describe and if I get a cold the first thing to be affected is my ears and sinus. Of course, anything that affects my balance triggers off the anxiety and I see that you have made that connection already. That's a good step.
I would describe my problems as mild because on the whole I am well and can deal with the occasional dizziness and just get on with life. When the switch flicks on though that's a different matter and I do feel like the anxiety is controlling me.
I am now 51 and think I have accepted that this will be with me forever and I have to learn to live with it. For me acceptance is the key and like I say, for 90% of the time I am perfectly well and happy so I don't mean to alarm you in any way. When you are as young as you are 4 months can seem like an eternity.
What can I recommend?
Read Self Help for your nerves by Claire Weekes
Ask your GP to refer you for some CBT - it really can help.
Don't stop your social life. Keep trying to carry on as normal.
Confide in someone if you can. Sometimes just talking about how you feel can help.
You can get through this - you seem to me to be well balanced and have already taken the first step in acceptance. As Jules says, stay strong you are not alone and you will always find a friend on this site.
Take care
Sal

[justsickofit]

Thank you both for your replies, its truly appreciated.

In one way its comforting to know that you have been and still are able to get on with your life as normal with these symptoms affecting you. In other ways its slightly discouraging as it seems like a long term problem and I was really hoping it would fade away soon. (Though saying that, in the back of my mind I guess I knew it wouldn't be that easy as I've already it for 4 months).

JulesR,
May I ask how easy/difficult it is for you when you go out and socialise? In these 4 months, I've only tried to go out once and after just 1 drink I felt like I was really drunk and I was also anxious the entire time..my entire night out lasted less than an hour. I'm really worried that my social life will take a huge hit be it for nights out or for sports or anything and I just cant imagine myself staying in every night at my age. Is there anything in particular you do to help/calm yourself when you're out and about?

Darbysa,
Thank you for your recommendation on the book and CBT, I'll look into that.
You said you first had these symptoms around my age, don't suppose you remember how you dealt with it that time around? Once again I mean in terms of social life, job etc. as that would relate more closely to my situation than anything else. How about in terms of driving around? I sometimes feel I shouldn't drive due to my 'groggy' feeling and a dizzy spell or anxiety attack while driving is just horrible.
I am glad to hear that it disappeared completely for years so I can still hope for that. I wouldn't mind so much if I had this much later on in life as by then I would have experienced well...life.


Looking for more information from other readers out there with similar situations.

Kind Regards.

[suttree63]

Hello there, ... this sounds familiar ! Like the earlier respondents I too have experienced what you're going through. I'm a middle aged male (early 50's) and I've come to generally accept that my symptons are stress related ... however that doesn't stop me from visiting Dr Google on a frequent basis !! ... and despite what I seem to think I've got (usually the worst things) a few weeks later I'm back on track and wondering what the fuss was about. It really is disconcerting -to say the least- when you suffer those off balance, dizzy, breathless sensations and the wonky headedness is horrible ... BUT you're not alone my friend and even in the dead of night there's this website for you to reassure yourself with. Finishing Uni is like dropping off the end of a conveyor ... suddenly it's over and things often don't progress like we wish them too. Chin up matey, things will improve. This day and age it's very common to still be at home at your age ... very common indeed.

[Tex]

Hello Justsickofit. I completely understand. The tidal wave of fear and anxiety that comes as a result of completing University, starting in the "real world" is huge. I experienced a panic attack at 24 years. It was the most overwhelming, frightening thing I'd ever experienced. I wish I could just wave a wand and fix it for others, because it's terrible. Your mind is amazing. It can truly torment you or it can help you do amazing things. Try not to react to it. If you believe in God, I'd suggest prayer. It helps!

[sammykaye]

Justsickofit

Hey, I am experiencing this at this very moment. I cant begin to tell you how fuzzy my head is feelign looking at the computer screen to the point I am focusing more on the keyboard so if things are writen all wonky and the like then please excuse it.

My symptoms at the minute are
* dizzy/lightheaded
*pressure in the head
* vision isnt quite right
* ringing in ears
* ear pain
* popping of the jaw
* full feeling in my ear
* difficulty breathing occassionally
* heightened anxiety
* fatigue
* nausea
* breathing awareness - I actually get to the point when Im laid down or just
nodding off that my body forgets to breathe and I startle myself awake
taking a breathe?

I had my first dizzy fit in August 2013 and I still have it so I make that 2 months on my count. My first doctor did all the usual blood tests for iron, liver electrolytes etc and they all came back fine, so he said I had stress and and anxiety, then after two weeks I went back and he diagnosed me with an ear infection, and then it was labyrinthitis and he made that diagnosis without even examining me. To this point the only thing I had was antibiotics for a throat infection which he told me not to take unless my throat got sore, so they are still intact in the box as my throat feels fine. It was this last appointment that he checked my ears and said I had fluid behind my ear drums and signed me off for another week

Last visit I made a point of requesting a new doctor, I went in and sw her and described how I was feeling. She did tests on me, explained the workings of my ears, gave me information on labyrinthitis and gave me medication to use if I felt nauseous (thankfully I seem to be able to stop nausea with warm milk though) obviously since I am pharmophobic having medication is like a form of torture. My doctor also told me that my brain focuses on one thing - either being dizzy or panicking, so it was up to me to tell my brain which one to focus on.

Sadly I got told it is something I need to ride out and there isnt really a specific medication that will fix it, just things to help calm them down.

My anxiety has gone awful since Ive been bad, I hardly had a panic attack in a good few years, and then lab hit and I feel like I have mild panic attacks all day over stupid things.

The main problem I have at the minute too is because of how my head feels I have no appetite at all and my anxiety has given me this weird concern about eating food, I get the sensation that Im choking on it or about to swallow my tongue, the result is Ive lost a stone in weight and I am currently on my 9th week off work and just found out that Im not entitled to sick pay so my stress is through the roof although Im trying not to thnk about it if Im entirely honest.

I am back to see my doctor on Friday. I have not had an ENT scan or the like though but am still not well. My triggers seem to be

* crowds (this has gotten slightly better though - at the start of my lab I couldnt even walk to my sons school with him to put him in or collect him and when my daughter started 2 weeks later I would have to literally sprint in and out again)

* lights (like fluroscent shop lights) but supermarkets in general dont seem to help

* screens - computer/tv/phone - they send my head blurry which in turn starts everything off.

so naturally me working in a supermarket on a till is going to be the best place to work..............


Its a horrible illness and it feels like its never ending at the minute and I keep being reassured that it will get better but at the moment the light at the end of the tunnel seems a long way off. My doctor also told me that if Im run down or get a cold/flu it may come back again - oh joy

If you want to talk about it hun I am more than happy to share this horrible experience with someone - its so lonely - especially when you seem fine to the outside world

x