MIGHT THIS LEAD TO DEPRESSION? (I THINK SO)

[Laurie28]

Hiya guys,

My friend is pregnant and is unsure as what to do.

She has had two abortiions and a child.

She is unsure what to do about the 4th pregancy, her dilemma is she wants to keep the baby and her partner does not.

I DO NOT want anyones personal views on abortion here as we have all go them but that isn't the issue I want to talk about.

I think if she goes ahead with the termination then she could end up seriously depressed having aborted a child that (although not planned) she wouldn't mind having.
her viww is that it was unplanned so she could go ahead with the termination and be okay

I disagree - in my opinion if a woman has an abortion she must be 100 percent sure that is what she wants to do.
I have told her that since she has known for 2 weeks that she was pregant and never wavered from the fact that she would like to keep the baby until yesterday (because her partner is not going to babk down on his opinion) then she should probably not have the abortion as a) it will probably ruin her marriage as she could resent her partner (although her marriage could possibly be over if she keeps the baby)and b) she could end up seriously depressed
Also I don't know how many abortions you can have before you cannot have any more kids

i have told her she must start using contraception as this is not the answer

Can someone give me their views ie how can I help
I know I can be there for her regardless but i am soo scared she is going to make a seriously wrong decision to please her partner

Lucky

[Meg]

As she's had 2 previous abortions and presumably coped well, it may be that she's found a coping mechanism that will also help her through this one if she chooses this option.

She may not have emotional issues for years to come or even at all . She may not get depression but it may present in aggression, guilt, panic or a physical state in years to come but not necessarily immediately.

It all depends on how she rationalizes her choice to herself and how good a job she does.






Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[Laurie28]

Thanks for replying Meg,

She still hasn't made her decision as yet. She did cope extremely well with her other two abortions, the thing that worries me is that on both occasions she decided straight away she definetly didn't want the pregnancy to continue this time it is different it has been 2 weeks.....

I suppose all I can do is be there for her whatever she decides

Lucky

[sal]

Hi Lucky

I really feel for your friend. She has a major decision to make here and like you say she has had two before, but knew that was want she wanted and no one could take that decision away from her. I hope she makes the decision for herself again whether to keep it or not, not just to please her partner. Like you say its a irreversible decision that she will have to live with not her partner. All you can do is what you are doing, been a true friend and supporting her whatever she decides.

Take care.

Love Sal xxx