more harm thoughts

[shieldmaiden]

Hey, it's me again. I wrote awhile ago about how my roommates just got a kitten and my ocd started acting up again.

Well, it died down for awhile but then something happened last night that has me in a panic again and I knew I couldn't keep it in.

Anyways, we were out in the living room and the kitten likes to run around and stuff and my roommates have a little fish tank on a little coffee table type thing and the cat started getting into it, but there's also like electric cords everywhere so my initial thought process, I guess is that what if she gets electrocuted or something and I was about to get up and get her but I suddenly just sat back down and thought that'd I'd let one of my roommates get her and I think it was because I was scared of hurting her in the process ( I know my thoughts don't exactly make sense), but anyways, I was just sitting there waiting for one of them to get her and I was thinking to myself like, what if something happens to her and I'm just sitting here, but I still didn't get up. I don't know if this was because my fear was so strong, but my roommate did go get her.

Anyway, to the point, I guess that by being too scared of getting her away from the water, I'm afraid that I indirectly tried to harm her by realizing that she could get hurt but decided not to do anything about it.

Wow, I'm really sorry if this makes no sense. I really hate ocd because it's like I think of every possible bad outcome that could happen in a situation in a matter of 5 seconds and I always feel like somehow or another I'm responsible.. whether it makes sense or not.

[BumbleGirl]

Hello Shieldmaiden,

The thing I have learnt about OCD is that it will flare up in times of stress. Is there any thing you are stressed about lately?

OCD thoughts don't make sense but that's why they are so distressing. You don't want to hurt the kitten because if you did you would have actually acted on it and hurt it deliberately.
The reason the thoughts seem so strange is because deep down you know the kitten was not in any danger just by running near a fish tank and cables (the cables are plastic covered so unlikely to get an electric shock from them) but you still had the intrusive thoughts that some thing could happen. So basically what I'm trying to say is deep down you knew nothing would happen to the kitten which is why you didn't act on it.

Have you spoken to the dr about your intrusive thoughts? xx

[shieldmaiden]

I have talked to a therapist about some of the intrusive thoughts I get, but I had to stop seeing her because I moved and didn't have the money to keep up with the sessions.

since seeing her, it's a little easier to decipher the ocd thoughts, but my ocd also likes to make me worry and doubt what i know to be true, i guess..

[RATFINK]

Hi I get harm thoughts badly on and off constantly. I no by experience when my mind is focused on something else ( a different worry ) I don't get my harm ocd. But when I,m just focused in my harm ocd it is horrible because that's all you think about, thinking that you will act on your urges and thoughts is horrendous. And trying but I suppose any worry that bothers us is just the same. It's just our mind is totally focused on 1 subject at a time. We are very aware of it everywhere we hear look etc. ��