Hey everyone. This is my first post on here and i'm hoping i can get some helpful replies. This is my second time starting citalopram. I started it about 2 years ago for anxiety and depression but then weaned off of it a year later because i felt like i didn't need it. Recently, i have suffered some panic attacks possibly because of stress/anxiety. I wasn't depressed or anything, just wanted something to help with the panic attacks. I talked to my doctor and he said i should start on 20mg right away. I did and had HORRIBLE anxiety and sleeping issues. I became awfully depressed and disconnected. i didn't even know what was going on i felt so zombified. I'm on day 6 as of now and i do feel somewhat better. Atleast i dont have the horrible depressed/anxious feeling coursing through me like the first 3 days. As the anxiety has gotten better, the feeling of being disconnected and not really there still persists. I feel like i'm in a dream land and everything is going by like a movie. Nothing really makes sense and its worries me. I know this is most definitly the meds because i didn't feel like this at all before them. I was just wondering when this ends? Or at least lightens up. I guess i can tell today that it has lightened a little bit which is reassuring, but i really hate this feeling. I want to be able to laugh again and look forward to things. I could do that before the meds because i wasn't that depressed, just having panic/anxiety issues. I feel like i took a huge step back. also, my doctor told me to go up to 40mg after day 4 but i'm scared to take that step if its going to cause me to feel like this any longer. I can't have conversations with people cause i just blank out and cant even remember what i was talking about. I've read many things on this site that say to stick with it and it gets better.. but does it really? I'm so scared i'm going to feel like this forever and never be my silly/energetic/caring self again.

Thank you for reading my post, i really appreciate it. All the opinions and tips will help.