First day back at university. Bad social anxiety attack

[yenool]

I'm studying part-time and It was my first day back at university today. I have quite bad social anxiety. I've been doing the course a year now and only spoken to 1 or 2 people once or twice.

I experienced what I think was a mini panic attack....

Someone arrived late and sat next to me in class, this was very uncomfortable as I have a large 'personal space' bubble. Then this person couldn't get their computer to work so invited herself to 'do the task together' with me...... I couldn't think quickly enough to say no or find someone else.

Obviously I was anxious already and this just about tipped me over the edge...... I started feeling incredibly hot, quite literally dripping with sweat, unable to see straight or think clearly. I was being asked loads of questions about the tasks 'how do you do X or Y', I couldn't answer even though I know the answers.

In the end I just got up and left 20 mins into a 1hr session. Just couldn't cope with it. I feel a total failure and wondering what this person must think of me... probably the class freak? I'm not working and I can just about cope with studying part-time as long as it doesn't involve speaking with others, presentations or last minute timetable changes.

Everything else tips me over the edge. So fed up...

[LiziJenks]

Hi,

I have just started my last year at uni and believe me I have had THE toughest week. Over the past month or so I have been getting really paranoid about what others think but you have to remember, you can't please everyone and you are at uni for yourself and nobody else. I have walked out of so many lectures crying, just pick yourself up and start again. No one will judge you and if they do they aren't worth your time!
In the way of presentations these freak me out to but I would advise you to get in contact with your student support worker or something similar. At my university I have a learning contract put in place where if I feel like I cant cope doing a presentation, the teachers take that into consideration and mark me based on the work I have done rather than the presentation, this is a good option if the prospect of a presentation scares you.

Remember not to worry at all about what others think, they have no idea what you are going through and if they do they would completely understand

Feel free to PM me if you are struggling with anything at uni...

Good luck xx

[theharvestmouse]

Are either of you getting any treatment for your SA?

I sympathise with you both, having had SA for a long time. I know how tough it can be to face university and work when you have SA.

[LiziJenks]

Thank you it is tough and over the past week I have made the decision to commute from home till I feel better, but our main focus is getting our degree! Surround yourself with people that support you, that's what I find helps whilst in Uni
xx

[nosweat]

That sucks... its natural to feel embarrassed, but I wouldn't worry about what the other person thought. if they are a caring person they will be more concerned about you than thinking you are weird. I had the same experience in high school a lot. every time we had group interaction (with people i didnt know) it was so hard for me to express myself. Eye contact was painful. I felt like i couldn't tell people who i really was and be myself. I've had many experiences with depression/anxiety when i couldn't cope with a situation because of it. In the end it was good for me to express my frustration somehow and get it out (talking with a friend or writing down how bad you felt). I hope you feel better

[yenool]

Are either of you getting any treatment for your SA?

I sympathise with you both, having had SA for a long time. I know how tough it can be to face university and work when you have SA.

In the past I had CBT - at that point my SA was so bad I was literally house bound and hadn't been out for the best part of 2 years. I had a couple of top up CBT courses since then but nothing in the last 5 years.

Recently I was assessed for therapy or CBT by IAPT service but they decided I wasn't suitable at this time. Apparently I only scored 'mild' for depression and 'moderate' for anxiety on their system, plus they felt I had too many other issues for them to deal with because they only 'do' short term treatments.
I also have OCD, depression and a physical health problem that causes chronic pain. They fobbed me off with some telephone numbers for local charities - of course the SA means I'm too anxious to phone them.....

Been trying various medications lately with no success. Thinking about going back to the DR soon as the latest med I was given is one I tried not so long ago and it didn't work then, so I can't see the point in trying it again now.
I would like to see a consultant as I've tried so many 'regular' antidepressants that I think now is the time to consider something more specialised, like an MAOI.

sorry for the long ramble...thanks for the reply

---------- Post added at 13:23 ---------- Previous post was at 13:14 ----------

Hi,

I have just started my last year at uni and believe me I have had THE toughest week. Over the past month or so I have been getting really paranoid about what others think but you have to remember, you can't please everyone and you are at uni for yourself and nobody else. I have walked out of so many lectures crying, just pick yourself up and start again. No one will judge you and if they do they aren't worth your time!
In the way of presentations these freak me out to but I would advise you to get in contact with your student support worker or something similar. At my university I have a learning contract put in place where if I feel like I cant cope doing a presentation, the teachers take that into consideration and mark me based on the work I have done rather than the presentation, this is a good option if the prospect of a presentation scares you.

Remember not to worry at all about what others think, they have no idea what you are going through and if they do they would completely understand

Feel free to PM me if you are struggling with anything at uni...

Good luck xx

Hi, thanks for the reply.

I'm actually second year at Uni now but managed to get away without any presentations so far.... and during college and I can't recall doing any in school either! I will probably be the only graduate ever to have never done one.... which I know will hurt me in the long run.

Don't take this the wrong way but I'm glad I'm not the only one who leaves classes/lectures early because of anxiety. My attendance is very patchy, I have some good weeks and other weeks where I just can't do it..... or I attend and then leave after 25 mins or whatever. My grades are OK but I've been dragged to one meeting where they said they would kick me off if I didn't attend more, so now I feel under pressure too.

Disability/welfare team at my Uni have been pretty crap, although they have some new people this year so hopefully that will improve. I get SFE funding for 1-2-1 study support and a mentoring...... the excellent mentor I have is the only reason I've got so far I think.

[LiziJenks]

I would definitely recommend to go and find out if the welfare team have improved! They can't and shouldn't even be able to threaten you about getting kicked off because if you would attend you could! I am quite lucky in the way that my university has an excellent welfare team and my tutors are understanding but maybe talk to your tutors about your condition, or email them explaining why you leave early.

In the way of presentations they are scary and I have just found out I have to do a lot this year In front of more people! Just build yourself up, start doing them infront of people you feel comfortable with e.g. parents or friends or even infront of the mirror!

Don't worry, there will be others in your university experiencing similar feelings, your not alone

[G.Samsa]

Leaving a bit early is nothing to be embarrassed about - it's great that you're able to go in and give it a go. And I agree with Lizi, you shouldn't be threatened with being removed from the course, especially if your grades are decent. Contact the student union if it becomes a problem.

I've just come back to discover that I need to do three presentations, and I'm very worried about it...

[yenool]

I would definitely recommend to go and find out if the welfare team have improved! They can't and shouldn't even be able to threaten you about getting kicked off because if you would attend you could! I am quite lucky in the way that my university has an excellent welfare team and my tutors are understanding but maybe talk to your tutors about your condition, or email them explaining why you leave early.

In the way of presentations they are scary and I have just found out I have to do a lot this year In front of more people! Just build yourself up, start doing them infront of people you feel comfortable with e.g. parents or friends or even infront of the mirror!

Don't worry, there will be others in your university experiencing similar feelings, your not alone

Well yesterday was a long day and I really struggled physically and mentally exhausted. I was in a large practical class and we were supposed to be working in groups - the group I was in was extremely awkward as the other people were almost as shy/anxious as me.... I didn't say a word during the 1hr session.... sigh...


Hoever, on a positive note I did go to the welfare team - this year the counselling team is running a 6 week course on dealing with stress and anxiety which I have enquired about signing up for. They are also running some other 1 day courses on stuff like coping with group work, I'm going to sign up for one of those if I can (timetable permitting).

trying to stay positive...... have booked a DR appointment soon to ask for some new medications.

---------- Post added at 08:07 ---------- Previous post was at 08:04 ----------

I've just come back to discover that I need to do three presentations, and I'm very worried about it...

:(. are they individual or group presentations? as I said I've never done one but the idea of doing a group one is less scary than individual to me.

Do your uni offer any training or practise sessions for presentations - I know many do.