taking a step

[danivsdani]

i'm finally going to get help tomorrow. i haven't really left the house in about 3 years. for the past week though i've just been sleeping and crying and not able to eat with some depressing and morbid intrusive thoughts that first popped up a week ago and just spiraled out of control. i had enough yesterday and just cried to my mom all day long and slept. she called today and made an appointment for me tomorrow. the intrusive thoughts aren't gone but they're not as strong as they were i think? i don't even know. i'm so confused and feel strange. i'm struggling wondering if i even need professional help? can they even help me? if they give me meds will they change me? i wish my appointment was today 'cause i don't want to sit on this another day. i've got SO MUCH on my mind.

[Kim51]

i'm finally going to get help tomorrow. i haven't really left the house in about 3 years. for the past week though i've just been sleeping and crying and not able to eat with some depressing and morbid intrusive thoughts that first popped up a week ago and just spiraled out of control. i had enough yesterday and just cried to my mom all day long and slept. she called today and made an appointment for me tomorrow. the intrusive thoughts aren't gone but they're not as strong as they were i think? i don't even know. i'm so confused and feel strange. i'm struggling wondering if i eve need professional help? can they even help me? if they give me meds will they change me? i wish my appointment was today 'cause i don't want to sit on this another day. i've got SO MUCH on my mind.

Sorry you are having a bad time, you have taken the first step by asking for help hope your appointment goes well

[danivsdani]

thanks for the reply kim. i've still got two hours to go. this day is draggin' on forever it feels like. i hope i'm doing the right thing and i don't have to be in this place for too much longer.

[danivsdani]

went to the doc yesterday diagnosed with panic disorder and depression. feel positive on n off. psychologist recommended meds that would help with anxiety and depression and to see her twice a week. gotta go to a general physician today to get a prescription today or monday. hopefully today. i don't know if i can wait til monday with how low these lows are. plus my sisters birthday is monday and i don't wanna ruin it by making her go to the dr with me.

---------- Post added at 08:18 ---------- Previous post was at 08:09 ----------

okay gotta wait til monday. not too happy about that. i really hope i don't talk myself out of it before then and then ignore the problem longer and get even worse. oof