How do you meet girls in clubs and bars?

[Otter13]

I met my feller online. We chatted for ages and both were honest about mental health problems ( bpd for me Gad for him). When we were both feeling half stable we met up. We have been together 9 years now though we don't live together. Not living together is a good thing as we both have very severe episodes sometimes and need our own space. We had both been single for years and were nervy about getting into a relationship. I loved being single and def wasn't looking for a partner!
Just be you. Look for friends not lovers and see what happens. Don't put pressure on yourself or her. Things happen when you least expect it! Good luck!

[unsure_about_this]

As a male I am pretty much useless in finding love so cannot give you any tips. The only time I have come close and don't mind sharing the story.

I was on holiday with my parents a few years ago in Egypt. one of the female entertainment going doing her hellos for the day. sat and took to us asked me whether I wanted a girlfriend, had one back at home. A few nights later she asked my parents could she marry me. Sadly never saw her again, would have been an interesting which direction it would have taken me to.

[pepsi]

Token wall flower thats really made me laugh...I dont think barscand clubs are the rightbplace to meet people if ur shy. I met all my boyfriends in nightclubs most long term ones and my husband too ...i thinkbyou are just as likely to meet someone online or even at a bus stop.

[theharvestmouse]

As a male I am pretty much useless in finding love so cannot give you any tips. The only time I have come close and don't mind sharing the story.

I was on holiday with my parents a few years ago in Egypt. one of the female entertainment going doing her hellos for the day. sat and took to us asked me whether I wanted a girlfriend, had one back at home. A few nights later she asked my parents could she marry me. Sadly never saw her again, would have been an interesting which direction it would have taken me to.

Sounds a strange situation, how much time did you spend with her?

[NoPoet]

I'll be honest, finding love would be a lot easier if we were all monkeys. Then if you see someone you like, you can just fling your poo at her. Sorted!

Since we're human, I used Plenty of Fish and have finally met someone who seems to be the right person

[Rennie1989]

When I used to go clubbing, when I was single, I preferred the guys who did not gawp at my lady bits (not that I have much anyway) and spoke to me like a human being. Any guy who called me 'babe, hun, sweetheart, darling...' at the first instance got to see my back, as well as assuming I was only after a one night stand. I preferred guys who asked what my name was, age, what I do for a living, who I was out with, just generic questions.

I don't think clubbing is the same as when my parents met in the 80's. Back then there was more respect, whereas today I see very little of that. I met my husband on an online dating site and previous boyfriends I often met through a friend (apart from one, who I met in a pub and said he looked like Prince of Persia, somehow it worked!)

[theharvestmouse]

Meeting people is not easy when you have SOcial Anxiety, I used to meet girls in nightclubs but they always approached me and that made it easier. I have tried online dating but I got fed up of going on dates, It doesn't suit me, I much prefer to meet someone and get to know them over time. But at the moment I barely meet anyone, even at my yoga class I struggle to make conversation. I get so frustrated, I really need to address my fear of rejection.

[Jon644]

I would say don't go into it expecting 100% result all the time. That's where you may get the nerves. You would begin to focus on yourself more and pick fault. We are all in the same situation. I find it much easier talking to women who are not in a club or bar. I approach them on a level as if just being friendly as it breaks the ice. Get into a convo and gently hint your interest. You can build an ability of knowing what to say/ask by starting to chat to people online on dating sites..The only difference is your typing. You start to get a feel for your own approach and the things to keep a conversation form ending too soon.

[unsure_about_this]

Sounds a strange situation, how much time did you spend with her?

Zero on my own, this hotel we stayed in, most of the entertainment team were friendly to the guests. I don't think she got sacked for asking to marry one of the guests.

[peachychou]

I can go out to bars and stuff because I drink heavily beforehand. I usually go with my friends. A lot of the times, women will make eye contact with me, smile or try to get my attention, but I don't know what to do because even when I'm wasted I feel nervous about talking.

I am absolutely terrible at speaking to anybody new, I legitimately make an idiot of myself. I feel super super super self-conscious about boring people. For that reason I can't tell stories or even jokes and everything comes out wrong because I lose confidence in what I'm saying after only a few words and think everybody thinks I'm boring and that I'm embarassing myself. And I also feel self-conscious as hell about dancing with them. I don't think I look bad or anything, but I feel like people look at me and think I'm weird.

Like, to dance with a girl I feel like she's judging me badly and I'm making a fool out of myself in front of everybody. Or sometimes when girls smile at me I can only manage to give them a quick glance and perhaps a smile. Sometimes I am able to speak with them for a short while, I have standard small-talk lines but I don't know how to do anything with it. Then I always end up going home alone, spending all of my money and waking up feeling really sick and hungover.

I think men are really lucky in the sense that they can pick an attractive girl, go home with them and most likely not have to worry about getting raped/attacked/abducted/murdered by them lol. It's harder for girls because even if we see a really hot guy we have no idea if he's safe to be around or if events could take a horrible turn later. You have no idea how lucky you are! this is why girls would prefer you to approach then. if a girl is looking at you a lot and seems happy or giggly around you it means she probably likes you and you're halfway there