Panic. They Took Christine Away

[Edward_1980]

I'm in an awful way with depression and anxiety. I got to my appointment on time today only to find out that I couldn't see anyone because there is a Junior Doctor's strike on around the country. I really needed to see Dr. Kirrane today because I'm not feeling one bit good in myself. I still miss Aeneas so much. I know we didn't always see eye to eye, but he was good to me at times. He wasn't all bad despite causing me anxiety on a few occasions.

Anyway, back on topic. I got my Clopixol injection today from Christine and just found out that they are taking her away from me as a nurse. She informed me today that a new nurse called John will be starting next week and taking over my case. I can't possibly explain how much anxiety and fear this little bit of news has caused me.

So, Aeneas is gone, Christine has been taken away from me and now I have a new nurse that I have never even seen before. I'm up the walls and stressed to the core. Do you think this new guy will read through my file before he meets me? I want him to know how to approach me. I had to take a 0.25mg Xanax when I got home because the news really hit me hard. I'm still panicking about this. I was settled in Christine's care and now they have gone and upset my whole routine.

[Annie0904]

Edward, yes the new nurse will read through your file and they will also have a hand over procedure to let the new nurse know your history. Try not to stress about it, any change is stressful but sometimes it is in our best interests and you may get along great with the new one.

[Andria24]

Edward - is it worth writing down how this has made you feel? See if you can ensure it's delivered to the team in order that it can be passed to John?

Of course this is frightening. I'm assuming you've achieved a reasonable level of comfort with Christine and that you felt safe. Try your hardest to view this as a small obstacle, one that you've dealt with and mastered before - which you clearly have.

For what it's worth I'm a (childcare) practitioner and I cannot work with any child/young person without first appraising myself of their historical information, behaviour/s and so on. Be assured that this is standard practice in the health and social care field.

[Rennie1989]

What's about the change in nurse that's worrying you the most?

[Edward_1980]

I'm sorry guys, but I can't be positive. I'm too upset. I'm so angry and mixed up. I always rapid cycle on the day of the injection anyway, but this news has made it worse. I have wrote in my diary and will be putting the points I made out forward to the team next Tuesday.

[Andria24]

Edward what Rennie said - it's not the positive we're asking, it's what's frightening you? Do you have your partner there or someone else you can express yourself to?

[Edward_1980]

I'm scared of people. I have trust issues and I'm terrified to open up to new people.

[harasgenster]

Hi there
I'm sure your team are aware of your borderline personality disorder and what kind of fears and attachments to people this might cause. I'm sure John will be sensitive to this and be very understanding of your emotions in this instance.

Are you receiving psychological treatment for your BPD?

[Edward_1980]

My moods are too unstable yet for me to receive treatment thus far. That's why I am on the Clopixol Injection.

[Andria24]

Edward I'm not scared of people but I am scared of sharing and talking. Don't get me started on how I feel at the thought of asking for help. However - I've got so tired of feeling like I have been that I made myself (this is how it felt to me) suffer humiliation and lots of anxiety in order to at least get 'my' ball rolling.

Anyway.

John may be the best thing that ever happened, not the worst. Look at how you now see the value in Aeneas whereas at the time it wasn't so clear. You have handled worse. You have managed.

I guess all I can say is feel how you feel, you know yourself better than I, and deal with it in whatever way makes you feel the most comfortable.