Originally Posted by
selphie
I feel like a failure and a embarrassment to everyone. I am a 37 year old female and i am acting like a child. My 9 year old acts more braver than me, I know i should have the test done, but i am so scared of what they're going to find.
I feel like i have left it far to long. What happens if its to late for me, and i have left things way to long.
I want to say its something else, but bottom line i am just a coward, Always have been.
I have been googling and i just think its cancer.... I spoke to the doctor today and she was not very reassuring
I really do not know whats worse... all i am thinking is fear, and i have been crying, I feel like a child, but i cant help it.
I know i need to the test, but i think then i have to rush and vomit, before i had this attack in may it was gone for 2 years and then attacked out of nowhere. There was more blood the last attack as well, the first attack was bright red and not much, and now its darker and more.... I am beside myself with worry. X