pet bereavement

[yorkylover]

Hi I dont know if I have put this message in the right place.I lost my little dog 6 years ago,and I have never got over the loss.I want to know if this is normal after so long.I have another dog who I love to bits.But when Im down I think of my other dog.I had to have him put to sleep at 16 and he was haveing these nasty fits, in the end he was just so tired and I knew the time had come..I had him put to sleep at home in the compfort of his own home.I was always led to believe the end was peace full for your best friend,this was not the case.The vet gave him an injection in his leg,then right in his heart muscle and he really screamed out in pain.then it was all over.I have never forgiven myself for putting him through that pain in the end.Im still hurting.Im finding it really difficult to write this,Im crying so much.I find it really hard to talk about and to think about.
Im scared if I have to go through it again.This makes my anxiety alot worse.When will I get over this.
I have him in the garden, a proper little grave all fenced of,its very peacefull.
I know some people will think Im stupid,people who I worked with used to.Only the people who kept pets understood how I felt.
Is there anyone else who has gone through this please.
This has been really hard for me today.:(

Ellen XX

[domino]

big hug s comung your way ,i have yet to experiance this , and the thought is not a good one ,are you still with the same vet, if i we,re you i would change your vet. i have a vet call at my home for my dog , i used to take her to a local vet in the car ,but she hated it and when we got there he was very inpatient with her. my new vet is very good and my dog seems alot happier with him . by the way my dog is dalmation and she,s called domino.

[kazzie]

(((((((((HUGS))))))))

Hi Ellen you are not alone here I had to have my dog put to sleep in April and he made a screaming noise when injected it was horrendous!!!

Please dont feel bad about it you had to do it and im sure he knew very little about it.

I have had lots of pets over the years and I still miss them all dreadfully so I think its perfectly normal.

Try and remember the good times you both shared and try and let the bad memories fade into the distance.

Take Care

Luv Kaz xxx

[Quirky]

(((((Ellen)))))

I feel for you mate, you are not stupid at all. I know just what you are feeling. I have had two dogs put to sleep, one about four years ago and one nearly two years ago. I still miss them both and my horse who died 5-6 years ago.
My two dogs were buried in my garden at my last house. We had to move house back in June and I was devastated to leave their graves behind, the day we left I was distraught for a while. I used to talk to them by their graves if I was feleing down and I miss doing that.
I too now have another dog who I love to bits, but I miss the other two so much and will never forget them.
What you feel is normal, pets become as much a part of our families as people do and the loss is just as great. In time we can remember the good and happy times we had with them but we never forget them.

I also work in a veterinary surgeons and know how hard pet bereavement is for people. Most times when animals are put to sleep it is very peaceful but occasionally they do jerk about or seem to scream in pain - these are just reflexes, they are not suffering honestly, but it is horrible to see I know. I hope explaining that helps you.

I see many people whose dogs are suffering so much and they can't bring themselves to put them to sleep, so rest assured you did the kindest thing an owner can ever do for their animals and made the right decision to stop the suffering.

You did the right thing and what you feel is normal ok. It is hard to think we may have to do through this again but sadly it is part of owning an animal. Personally I find the benefits of having an animal outweigh this but I know how hard it is.

If this affects your anxiety maybe you could try some pet bereavement counselling, there are many organisation now if you search on the web.
Aletrnatively the blue cross do one here:
http://www.bluecross.org.uk/web/site.../PBSSIntro.asp
It can help to talk to someone.

Sorry that's long but wanted you to know I do understand.

Take care,

Lisa x

[yorkylover]

Thanks everyone,yes Im still with the same vet practice,they are really lovely vets there.I have only seen the vet who put benjie down once.I dont really blame him,he has years of experience.Its just I cant seem to come to terms with it.I love animals so much,and I wouldnt stop having pets because of this.They give me so much love and friendship.
Im sorry to hear about all your losses to.Thanks so much for replying.
Lots of love

Ellen XX

[kitty24]

hey Ellen you aren't silly at all. It is very hard losing a pet.I would die without my little cat, he's like my child. I hope you feel better soon, you'll get through it xx

[bearcrazy]

hey ellen,

((((hugs)))))

I had to have my dog put to sleep 5 years ago. He was only 4 but had Leukaemia. Nothing could have prepared me for the devestation I felt. I wasn't able to be with him at the end cos he was in an animal hospital quite a way away. the vet took him to be cremated, and we collected his ashes from the crem. We put them inthe garden with a rose called sweet dreams. We have pics of him out. It was like losing a human member of the family. We now have 2 black labs, and dread the day it has to happen again. To us theyre family.
My thought are with you.

[candie]

Hi ellen,

Life without my dog wouldnt be worth living!!!

I constantly worry(as we do) about what i'll do if anything happens to him,i love him to bits so i dont think youre crazy at all...just very compassionate and daft about pets like the rest of us!!!

Hope you feel better soon,take care..Candie xx[8D]

[LickeyEndBlues]

We have had to deal with pet bereavements too.

The first was Alfie, our first child substitute, a Lowchen we had from RSPCA. He was with us for 15 happy yrs. Sadly he had to be put down about 15yrs ago now. Our second was Joe, a thick tom cat. We called him Joe as we didn't think he would be able to cope with anything longer!! He was with us for around 16 years and was a good mate of Alfies. Again we had to have him put down a bout 3 years ago.

We have had other cats who have gone, some have just up sticks and moved on, others we aren't so sure but have read that cats tend to take themselves off to a quiet peaceful spot and go to "sleep".

With both Alfie and Joe we were in bits afterwards. Any programmes relation to pet bereavment were impossible for us. I remember saying, "this is stupid, we are crying more about this dog than my Granny!!"

I think the crux of it is, Granny slipped away naturally of old age and we had Alfie and Joe "put down". Yes we were really upset at the passing of all three but as we helped Alfie and Joe along we felt an element of guilt as well. I think the "guilt" multiplies all the other feelings we have.

We are now able to enjoy the memories of all our pets (and Granny) and thats the reincarnating bit.

So thanks to this thread I'm sat here thinking fondly of; Tikka, Alfie, Mr Ciaro, Simpkiss and Joe.......oh, and Granny too.

Laisez les bon temp roulez

[yorkylover]

Thank you everyone you have all been so very kind,and understanding.



Ellen XX