Hi everyone, been busy looking around and i can honestly say i feel quite emotional, maybe it's because i'm not alone and that people understand i wish i had found this site ages ago, i have suffered with panic attacks, depression etc on and off for 21 years i dont think i have ever truly been treated properly and i have had a really bad year as my father died last june we had to basically watch him die so the anxiety seems to have come back but i did decide i had had enough and wanted to have cbt but unfortunately i have been let down again and they wont let me have it because i dont suffer with them everyday, i'm not ill enough! joke the last 20 years have not been lived how i would like to have lived them, i fel a bit angry and let down but i'm also trying to cope with my dad's death not very well with either of them, anyway i am going to read more of the postings as i've waffled on a bit, and just wanted to say i'm so glad i found this site.