Agoraphobia or Social Anxiety?

[Azalea]

I am really not sure what it is I am suffering with but last year I went through a traumatic event which led to severe panic disorder where I couldn't leave the house. Eventually I started getting out again with my husband and children, and even small places alone. I still didn't have the confidence to meet up with people without my husband but I wasn't anxious in the company of others.

Recently after doing so well, I have had a blip in my recovery. I had a panic attack in a shop and from there I stopped going out alone again. I will go out with my husband and children and cope fine but when alone I have a panic attack. A few weeks ago I had a parcel delivered and at the door I had a panic attack, the delivery guy knows me and thankfully he didn't notice, maybe I panicked because I was fragile at the time and I didn't want him to notice. Since then I hate answering my door, I hate getting parcels and I avoid ordering things now. I didn't have this problem when I first started suffering late last year/early this year. I hate anyone knocking on the door when I am home alone, I really don't want to answer.

Today my Dad called, I am unwell today so my anxiety isn't good at all. My son is also at home unwell so he went downstairs and said I wasn't well so my Dad said he would call me later. I now just want to cry, I am even hiding away from my family

If I can go out with my husband and children, ok I feel uncomfortable but I can go out, but when I am alone I can't go into shops alone, is this agoraphobia or more a social problem? Say a shop was empty and I could serve myself I'd feel fine, I know i could do it. My fear is having a panic attack infront of people. I need my car close by where ever I go incase I panic, even when with my husband.

I am really sad that I am getting this rush of panic about answering my door. Will I soon stop anyone from coming to see me

[jayjoe18]

Hi Azalea, sorry to hear your feeling this way. I have to say reading that it seems that it may be more than one thing. Obviously we don't know you but I would say it sounds like your traumatic event caused the panic attacks/disorder and that in turn caused some social fears (having an attack in public) which has lead to the agoraphobia and not wanting to leave the house. I think then this has fueled the social anxiety even more as when you hide away it becomes more and more difficult to face and speak to people.

I have social anxiety which has lead to panic, phobias and agoraphobia. I believe that many things can go hand in hand and one problem lead to another, which is awful having not only one thing to deal with but more.

Having had social anxiety since being 12/13 I can say that hiding from visitors (even family) and not wanting to answer the door, go out and make phone calls are all tell tail signs of SA. I can sometimes go out with my mum but never on my own, I just don't have the confidence or independance to be able to do that, which is another tell tale sign in my opinion.

I hated answering the door, I would literally run and hide from people, friends, family, delivery people, postman, anyone and everyone. I still do to some extent. It's awful. I don't want to worry you but the longer you let it go on the worse it will get. This happened to me and I lost all my friends, I can't even visit family.

But please don't panic, for me I strongly believe I have this due to family links/chemical imbalance etc. From what you say yours seems to be triggered from a specific event, which you can most definitely make a full recovery from as you know what has triggerd it so that's a great starting point.

Have you spoken with your GP about it or are you getting any help? If not I think it sounds like you would be a good candidate for therapy, they would probably recommend CBT.

[Azalea]

Thank you so much for your reply.

It is horrible, as soon as I see a van pull up or the post man I panic about answering. My heart races and I feel scared stiff. I never used to feel like this. My anxiety was just in shops. I felt a little anxious when I had visitors but nothing like this.

My GP knows, I am on a low dose medication for anxiety but mainly to help me sleep and in turn my anxiety. I was doing so well, going out again, visiting friend.... Life was great but now after a panic in a shop when I was unwell with a virus it has come crashing down and I feel I am back to square one. Now I have this on top of it and I am worried I am going to become some kind of recluse :-(

I felt so sad seeing my Dad walk away today to his car, I don't want to upset people :-(

I saw the MH team for an assessment last year and was told I was suffering from PTSD due to an attack I experienced last year, which had led to panic and agoraphobia. I was told help would be a years wait so I went private. Therapy did help but after a while I felt she really wasn't qualified enough to help with agoraphobia. I used to just talk over and over about my family problems and how I had been treated since the attack, this went on for months. My husband used to come with me and he said he felt she didn't have any idea of how to treat the panic and agoraphobia as she gave me no guidance on how to overcome it.

I feel a bit lost to be honest and very tired. I feel I have to just get over this myself so I am using this forum and reading some self help books. I swear that's what helped me last time. I just wish this blip didn't happen as I was doing so well and life was really good again.

[Col]

Aahhhhhh could cry 4 u I've got kids hubby but mine was so severe nothing would stop me having a mega meltdown. Everything including avoiding family what u described let this be a bit if reassurance - I've been exactly the same. My mum imposes anyway but at the height of my breakdown, 6 months agrophobia & acute panic attacks - she'd come to see kids & arrive at lunch time and wouldn't leave until 5-6 or 7 pm. Fair enough dont see her every week but at that time regular fortnightly! Hubby would come home starving to the house strewn with all that she's bought kids & then she'd go! This is a women who was sectioned and depressed & should know better! Id sit in the room trying to act normal inside I was screaming , tensed shoulder, breathing weired blah blah - SUFFERING all day because of her selfish behaviour! Not the type of mother to be firm with - then its you causing the issue as shes only being kind.

Totally get where your coming from to answer your question. I think more of a social issue but made worse as a consequnece of your panic & agrophobia experience.

Thinking of u

[Azalea]

Thank you.

I feel terrible I don't even call my mum anymore but then again she's never bothered to call me and has known in the past I've been struggling.

I hate regular visitors since this panic but I also hate how lonely and restricted my life is:( I hope in time I can get over this fear. I guess I just have to keep answering the door and ordering parcels to learn to cope with it

QUOTE=Col;1233964]Aahhhhhh could cry 4 u I've got kids hubby but mine was so severe nothing would stop me having a mega meltdown. Everything including avoiding family what u described let this be a bit if reassurance - I've been exactly the same. My mum imposes anyway but at the height of my breakdown, 6 months agrophobia & acute panic attacks - she'd come to see kids & arrive at lunch time and wouldn't leave until 5-6 or 7 pm. Fair enough dont see her every week but at that time regular fortnightly! Hubby would come home starving to the house strewn with all that she's bought kids & then she'd go! This is a women who was sectioned and depressed & should know better! Id sit in the room trying to act normal inside I was screaming , tensed shoulder, breathing weired blah blah - SUFFERING all day because of her selfish behaviour! Not the type of mother to be firm with - then its you causing the issue as shes only being kind.

Totally get where your coming from to answer your question. I think more of a social issue but made worse as a consequnece of your panic & agrophobia experience.

Thinking of u [/QUOTE]

[Rosie2]

Aww :( I'm so sorry you are going through this
I have felt similar in the past, although not as bad; someone tried to steal my phone when I was out, plus it was really near to my house (about 1min walk away) and I didn't give it to them but it freaked me out so much, for a very long time I would seclude myself indoors and when I did get out I'd feel extremely anxious until I was out of the area which I live in.

I really think you should go to your GP and discuss it, there are loads of options avaliable for feeling like this, and personally I feel like the longer that it goes on, the more of a habit it becomes (to the point that it becomes 'normal' behaviour for you, as this is how I felt.. it felt more strange for me to go out and live a normal everyday sort of day.)

If possible could you see how you would feel going out with a friend to somewhere quiet, or just for a walk, or having a close friend over to your house? I know that certain close friends of mine can always make me feel a bit more calm and relaxed just by spending time with them.

Good luck!!

[Azalea]

Thank you Rosie.

I saw my gp Monday and he said to face my fear, stop hiding away, set goals daily and see if things get better. If not I have to go see him in a month
and he said he will up my meds. I'm only on a very small dose and I want it to stay that way. Meds won't help this, I know that. The key is acceptance.