Spotted Fear

[subjectpink]

Hi, I've read loads of posts within the forum and decided to bite the bullet and post something myself.

I'm a reluctant facebook user. My home town has it's own 'spotted' page. For those who are unfamiliar 'spotted' is a page in which people take pictures of people (usually strangers) and post them on facebook for other people to comment on.

I think these pages are horrible and mean spirited. Recently a picture of a woman appeared and everyone was calling her fat, ugly and sickening.

I was out earlier this evening and I am now really worried someone will post a picture of me on there. I'm an overweight person and had just finished work so any picture of me would be less than flattering.

I know that I cannot mentally cope with receiving such hurtful and hate filled comments and so I'm really panicking that someone has snapped a picture of me and is sending it into the spotted page.

I discovered the page a few weeks ago and now I am worried whenever I leave the house, I feel like there are thousands of people just waiting to humiliate me.

My partner says I cannot live this way and should stop worrying all the time, I know he is trying to help but it really just makes me feel worse, like I'm dragging him down with me.

I want to delete my facebook account but at the moment I feel like a prisoner and that obsessively checking the spotted page is the only control I have.

The worst part of the spotted thing is that anyone who speaks up against it is instantly bombarded with messages from total strangers calling them everything under the sun. And of course telling them they have no sense of humour. Call me boring if you like but I don’t want my picture appearing on the internet so people can rip me to shreds, it’s just cruel.

Does anyone else worry about this? Or perhaps some advice?

Many thanks

[danivsdani]

ugh i hate things like that too! humans can be so judgmental it upsets me a lot. my own sister takes pictures of people at her job and posts their pictures on her facebook. she never shows their faces though which is supposed to somehow make it better but i still think it is a horrible thing to do. the only advice i can give you is to try not to be concerned what other people think of you. i know that's really hard. also remember that all of those people are judgmental and that is their problem not yours and not anyone's who ends up on websites like that. don't delete your facebook just stop checking the spotted page. i know that is also hard as i've had to make myself stop obsessively checking pages and it took a long time but i did eventually stop. i still do sometimes when i'm feeling very insecure but hardly ever so it can be done! i know you think this is the only control you have but you have the choice to stop caring so much what people think of you. you have the choice to go out and feel fine with yourself. when i look at pages like that i only ever see people who have the confidence i wish i had to wear whatever they want and just be comfortable in public. there is literally nothing more beautiful than that i think.

[Daisy Sue]

The internet has brought out the worst in people, and this 'spotted' trend is just another sad symptom of that fact :(

I would bet that most of the people who sit safely behind their pc screens insulting and criticising others, aren't all that perfect themselves!

Try not to worry about it, there will always be miserable saddos in this world - all you can do is make sure you have good people in your real life, and the others can go do one. lol.

[danivsdani]

i just wanted to make it clear that i meant the people in the pictures on those sites are very confident and comfortable with themselves in public. reading this again it looks like i meant the judgmental people on those sites are confident and comfortable whoops

[theharvestmouse]

Why not delete your facebook account? I did that 5 years ago and I do not miss it one bit. I have far too many other things I'd rather do than sit there looking at facebook.

Too many people are spending their lives sat behind a computer screen. The number of issues that seem to arise from social media networking is just stupid. Life is outside, so get outside and experience the world.