Worst day ever - waiting for mole biopsies

[Freddiemercury]

I already wrote a previous post about how two suspicious moles needed biopsy. I am so upset because I have been worried about them for a long time. They are both relatively new in the last year, which is a bad sign. I attempted to get them checked by a doctor when I was living in a rural part of the US and he seriously barely looked at them and said "it's nothing". Because I literally watched people die in this town because of horrific medical care, and combined with his dismissive nature, I obviously wasn't too confident in his opinion. I moved back to a major city and went back to my old dermatologist on Wednesday. Both looked suspicious to her under the dermascope (that magnifying thing they use) and she biopsied them and told me I would have to wait 7-10 days for the results. I actually wasn't doing too bad until today. I went to a friend's house to distract myself but when I was on my way home I became so overwhelmed by anxiety I almost had to pull the car over. Since this afternoon, I have been using google like a drug addict uses their drug of choice. That's not an exaggeration! My husband literally tried to steal my phone away from me and I had to pull it back from him and demand it back. Seems so silly now looking back lol. The stuff I read about the cancers I'm afraid I have is the absolute worst. Story after story about it being caught late, not looking like a typical cancer, and having already spread to stage 4. The area around the one bump near my collar bone has been hurting lately and I'm convinced this means it spread (and the pain started before I was worried sick about this, so I don't think the pain is psychological). I had a full on panic attack tonight and had to take a Xanax which I have had not to do in many months. I am simultaneously disgusted with myself and worried sick over these results. I don't know what to do and am having a hard time staying off google. I think right now I am embarrassed to share this with anyone, but am looking for any kind of advice or reassurance or even someone to share a similar experience that turned out okay. I know the results will be what they will be and nothing can change that now, but this has been one of the worst bouts of anxiety so far, even my husband felt so.

[Andria24]

I can't help with the symptoms but I can say that I understand your fear. I know that anxiety kinda promotes the dwelling on the negative, and it's a vicious circle.

Personally I think the positives are that you went for the tests and that you had the courage to do so. I'm hoping you're fine, and in all probability you'll manifest symptoms simply because you're dwelling on it.

The waiting is often worse than the outcome, as the anticipation part is the stressor. And remember that Google is not your friend at times like this

[Freddiemercury]

Thanks andria. I wish they knew how excruciating the waiting is. I've worked in hospitals and I know most radiologists and pathologists see a test and make a decision in about 24-48 hours max. You're right, google is just about the worst thing that ever happened to me right now.

[Andria24]

I'm sure they know. I was sat waiting for my eye exam last week and by the time they finally got to me I was almost screaming. The medical folks treat it as their job and I suppose time and routine kind of makes them forget that there are a lot of scared people info their midst.

My daughter is a student nurse and they're taught that they can never say 'I know how you feel' to a patient. For my part I think that's cold. Nurses are people too. Just like doctors, and they get ill, just like we mere mortals.

It's why I go to female doctors for gynae stuff, because I know that they know what childbirth feels like, or having an IUD fitted, or a vaginal exam. Male doctors can't possible know.

I suppose it's to do with remaining professional. However I'm all for positive touch and empathy, both of which can be delivered professionally.

If it helps my husband is a dot-to-dot when it comes to moles. He's got that many that his doctor gave up trying to remove them all. He'd end up being one huge scar, I'm not kidding. I asked him how often he checks and he says (my husband) "I do what I can with the ones I can see. Mostly I don't bother. So many of mine are the 'not good' kind so ... "

My fingers remain crossed and my good wishes are focused on you being perfectly fine, at worst the derma guy deciding just to keep an eye on things

[Freddiemercury]

Thanks Andria! Your words really mean a lot to me! It's very kind of you and made me feel a lot better today. It also makes me feel better to know your husband has been through this before and turned out okay. I agree with you, a lot of people in the medical profession go through their process and they should think back to how they feel as a patient and not as a doctor. I will certainly let you know my outcome. Have a great day!

[Limas]

My doctor called me in two days with melanoma results. The letter telling you you're fine takes 7-10 days to get through the mail

[Freddiemercury]

Thanks Limas. She told me she would call in 7-10 days regardless but we will see! How did you cope with your diagnosis? Was your melanoma obvious?

[Elakl]

Hi,I'm in the same situation here.I had two moles removed.Both new.Tomorrow I have an appointment with the doctor and take the results.I'm so scared I have melanoma.I'm so scared I even shut my phone the whole week being sure the'll call me to tell me the bad news.I would like to know how things went for you.

[Freddiemercury]

Hi Elakl, I am actually still waiting for the results! I am hoping they call me tomorrow before I have to wait another weekend thinking about this. But I know what you mean, because part of me doesn't want to hear in case it's bad news. Please let me know how you make out tomorrow! And I will let you know if I hear also.