PLEASE Help Me! I've OCD with Numbers

[someonepleasehelpme]

Sometime I just wanna give up on my life ever being normal. I just want to stop having this problem. Firstly, ill give you examples of my OCD so you can know where i am coming from.I dont have the classic "ritual" OCD where I have to perform a ritual or something bad will happen. I have intrusive thoughts that continue to make me go crazy. Also, I have superstition with numbers that is so extreme that I have began to associate almost every number with something or someone. Ill give you the examples with the numbers or things:
- My ex girlfriend birthday is august 4, so I avoid doing certain things on the fourth of every month
- My brother is 24 so I associate anything with the number 24 with him.
- My coworker who I dislike always eats mashed potatoes so I dont eat it or when I see it i automatically think of him.

The thing is, even if I dont have any problem or negative feelngs toward the person, I always associate people or things with numbers. I have even went a full day without eating because I didnt want that food to "be associated with that day or person". I always try to tell myself "its just my OCD, it means nothing" but I always fail at that approach. Its that I continue to associate people with things or numbers, and I just want to know if there is anything I can do. Therapy hasnt helped, as I have tried CBT and also I was prescribed zoloft but I chose not to take because I am afraid of having to take meds for the rest of my life. If there is any technique you guys can give me or anything please help.

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums. I've never been on Zoloft before and I'm not qualified to recommend meds, but if this problem is seriously affecting your quality of life, maybe it could be worth a shot? Clearly I don't know how severe your OCD is, from sitting at my computer screen, but if your doctor prescribed Zoloft he must think it's serious enough? You don't have to take meds all your life - people usually stay on them for 6 to 12 months.

[Ikaeoph]

I'm a bit late but here's my input, OCD is one illness with many many branches, and even more roots, but different people get different forms of it. I'm guessing you are a logical thinker and have a mathematical mind? Or you like to organise things very precisely and like to have a plan. Anyway, different people have different kinds of OCD but the only way you can stop it is to look it in the eye and smack it lol. You can avoid your fears forever in the hope they will go away, but I'm sure you have a rational fear maybe like spiders, when you see a spider.you will always remember the fear, constant worrying of them have imprinted the memory in you. You should try b12 vitamins (amazing stuff) and force yourself to go through your fears, and linger in them and become adapted, you WILL eventually become used to it that you will just become so bored of it that it won't effect you. You may still get the thoughts in times of stress, but the fear and your belief in them will have gone to the point you can laugh at them.
I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFFESIONAL, but I have beaten these particular thoughts and depression using this method. To completely wipe out OCD you need to take out the roots though (you can remove fear and weight from the intrusive thoughts but not the thoughts themselves, I think the roots is more a behavioural issue which involves your personality so if you want to cure yourself 100% CBT is worth a try. I repeat I'm not a medical PROFFESIONAL but I have beaten this ocd by myself. Good luck!

[Jojomarymoo]

Hi someonepleasehelpme, I totally know where you are coming from. I've had OCD with numbers and other things...had CBT sessions earlier last year. I had issues with and not all of them...numbers and stopping the microwave on certain ones (eg, this would mean that whichever no. It stopped on, such as 13 something bad would happen, 16 is my sons age, again could not stop on this, 40+ as something bad would happen to me-I am 40) Looking at certain letters....could not stop a book on words ending in D (death) K (killing) etc, bad thoughts in my head about things happening to my family and having to negate these in my head constantly. Letters and numbers were really prevalent in my OCD, they are not as bad now, it is trial and error and I had to face my fear of looking at letters/numbers, still having to deal with anxiety but then not doing anything about it, allowing the anxiety to subside. You have to take small steps, such a a little 'test' like a number fear on someone you don't care about (my therapist said to allow intrusive thoughts on famous people then see what happens to them...nothing) and then build to higher 'tests' CBT does work but it can take a while and I had to realise that it wasn't an overnight cure. Take care x