When will it work?

[chicaplatense1]

I am feeling the same way today Stella and I felt like that yesterday. I want to cry. I keep saying to God that I might make mistakes but I don't deserve to feel like this and my children deserve a happy mother as well. I am crying as I write this. I am supposed to be going to school and studying so I can get a better job and help my husband provide a better life for our family. My heart aches. I don't know what to do. But all I can tell you is that you are not alone. I feel the same and I had a VERY hard time getting out of bed. I just wanted to sleep for the rest of my life...

[-Stella-]

Sorry to hear you feel like it too, chicaplatense. I know that there are others who have felt like this and that it is possible to get through it... but I feel so disappointed that I thought things were getting better and yet it seems it was false hope. I know that even if the sertraline turns out not to help much there are other things that I will be able to try too but this has been going on for so long, I am just so tired of it. I am sure you know what that is like... I am also sure we will both make it if we just keep on going.

[chicaplatense1]

How long have you been like this? I started back in February. Tried Celexa and Lexapro. Tried going off and was only taking clonazepam for 3 months but felt depressed. Do you feel depressed too in addition to the anxiety?

[-Stella-]

It has been going on for most of this year, since about March I think. The anxiety started first, but then depression hit too, since about June. I only went to the doctor in August and was initially sent away with a self-help leaflet but went back at the end of September because I had basically totally ceased to function...

[chicaplatense1]

Yes, That
s pretty much how I've been.... About the same length of time too... I started with panic attacks, then anxiety and now it seems like it is half anxiety and half depression

[-Stella-]

Aw, chicaplatense Let's hope we both manage to find a way out of it in the same way we seem to have similarly fallen into this situation. Just think - many other people have had this and recovered, so it is more likely than not that we will too.

[-Stella-]

Okay, so 12 days after I last saw the doctor I am still feeling as depressed as when I started (although I haven't had an anxiety attack for a while, so that is something!). I was not due to see the doctor again until the week before Christmas, but I have made an appointment for Monday morning because it is getting seriously bad again and I was only able to go to work 2 days out of 5 last week. I am so disappointed - I had a couple of really good days where I remembered what it would be like to feel 'normal' after months and months of unrelenting depression, so I thought it was working, and now I am back to square one. I feel like giving up, I really do. I don't know what else the doctor can do but I have run out of other options but to go back and whinge again, I fear

[chicaplatense1]

Hi Stella, I am sorry you are not feeling well, Have you been on other antidepressants? What dose did you start on and what dose are you on now? How long have you been on it so far? Maybe you need an increase... I am not too depressed right now but mornings are still kind of hard. I am still a bit anxious. I started at 50mg for 2 weeks then increased to 100mg for 2 weeks and it's been 4.5 weeks for me. Do you have someone close to talk to? Sometimes a good cry helps. Do you feel depressed all day long or is it first thing in the morning? And is there anything that triggers your sadness or do you feel that way for no reason? I was also wondering if there was something specific that triggered you, I think you mentioned that this started 8 months ago. I have been like this for about 9 months and I did have a big trigger. Sorry to ask so many questions but I feel like these may help point out the direction to go. I send you a big hug and I understand how you feel because I have felt that way. You are not alone!

[-Stella-]

No I haven't been on any other meds, I have been on 50mg sertraline all this time (just over 7 weeks). chicaplatense, did you notice any difference when you increased your dosage? Was there any increase in side-effects? I would be interested to hear about your experience.
I do not have anyone I can talk to really because I also have really bad social anxiety that has meant that I basically have no friends - it is rather a cruel paradox because I actually love people, I am just terrified of them alongside it, so I am super-lonely
I feel depressed all day... if anything it is actually better in the mornings, but it is difficult to tell really.
I think I know what triggered this bout of depression (and made my anxiety much worse) but whether that is the actual root cause or just something that set it off I don't know.
Don't worry about asking questions, I think the answers are all helpful things to think about, thank you. A big hug back to you as well

[chicaplatense1]

I was only on 50mg for 2 weeks and I was feeling really down the second week I knew the doctor wanted me to go up but I was too scared to. But I did and the first day I took the 100mg I felt great, the second day I felt awful, anxious and depressed. I have only been on that dose for 2 weeks so it is hard to tell as I think it is too soon. I did get a little diarrhea (sorry to share) but not too bad, only first thing in the morning. My appetite was bad in the morning and some nausea first thing in the morning. The first week I was really anxious and had to take anxiety medication every day, some days twice a day. The second week I only took the anxiety medication about 3 times the whole week. Anxiety is always worst in the morning for me. What I notice now is that I wake up a bit anxious, feeling lazy and wanting to sleep, but I do get up and take the pill and about an hour later I start to feel more calm. If I get anxious thoughts I have a reaction as if a panic attack was about to start but it fizzles out before it turns into anything. With regards to depression, I have been crying less in the last week and for the last couple of days I haven't cried at all. I haven't had any problems with insomnia at all either, cross my fingers that it stays that way. I do still feel sort of down but I do think that the 100mg is helping. I hope it stays that way and that it continues to improve. I definitely don't feel 100% better but I feel about 50% better. If you are nervous about going up you could try 75mg first, but talk to your doctor first. My depression is mostly due to my anxiety though, if I had no anxiety I would probably have no depression. Although sometimes I get depressed just thinking about how bad the last 9 months have been, basically I get feeling sorry for myself... LOL bad habit. I would try it, but as I said talk to your doctor first. You are not alone! Many hugs!! (((())))