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Thread: Introduction, long and pregnancy loss mentioned.

  1. #1
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    Introduction, long and pregnancy loss mentioned.

    Hi all,

    I'm Carla, I'm 25 and am currently suffering from anxiety, possibly triggered by post traumatic stress.

    On 29th January 2005, I was just over 20 weeks pregnant with identical twin girls. I had been very very poorly with a water infection, and had been laid up in bed for about 3 days, but I had started to feel better, and was up and about at home with my parents. My partner was away on business.

    I started to feel like I had very bad constipation, but soon realised I was actually going into labour. My parents had called the hospital and were getting a bag together for me, whilst I was on all fours on my bed, trying desperately not to push. All of a sudden, I felt a huge pushing sensation, that I couldnt control, and something came gushing out of me. I screamed, and realised my waters had broken. In that split second, my life was turned completely upside down, and nothing has been the same since.

    I got to the hospital, but it was too late. Grace was born first, alive but far too small to live. Joni followed later, she had died in the womb.

    Obviously the past (nearly) 2 years have been very hard, as I am still grieving, and I have had small bouts of social anxiety. However 5 weeks ago, I got ill with a water infection again, and began to get this pushing down feeling inside. Since then, I have practically lived at the doctors, I am convinced my insides are going to fall out, the same way as I lost the twins.

    I have lost faith in my health and in the medical profession, I now know that sometimes emergencies can happen, in a split second, and that frightens me.

    I lost my job last Wednesday, due to taking too much time off (3 weeks). I am very snappy and irritable, and sometimes it takes alot to leave the house.

    I also am scared of being anywhere without a toilet, as I need to wee so much!

    I need to get myself out of this rut, as I cannot see in to the future and have missed out on o many social events recently, I am worried I am going to lose my partner and friends soon.

    Thanks for listening.

    Carla

  2. #2
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    HI Carla
    SOrry you are having such a bad time

    A couple of tips if you have a water infection that might help

    Drink cranberry juice. Have a read about it on this page
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/ask_the_...ranberry.shtml

    Also my doc told me to use a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda in a glass of water when you first feel the symptoms. I put it in squash.
    If you do that it will help.

    Hugs
    Pam

  3. #3
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    Hi!

    I also take cranberry tablets, and sometimes have anti-biotics (but they give me thrush) but I am just one of the unfortunate ones who gets water infections and cystitis alot! I dont think having IBS helps either:(

    I will try the bicarb thing though, thanks!

    Its just this pushing feeling, its driving me round the bend, I dont know what it is!

    Carla

  4. #4
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    Its cause the infection makes your bladder feel uncomfortable like you need to go to the loo,
    If you are still worried tomorrow why not go back to the doc.

    When you are on antibiotics you need to take some good bacteria to replace the ones that are killed off by the antibiotics.

    You can get acidopholus tablets but it is better to get live bacteria.
    Try yogurt. I know it sounds daft but use live yogurt as a cream on your bum :-) after you have been to the loo to spend a penny. It helps with thrush. Also eat some live yogurt each day. You can put the yogurt on a tampon and insert it.

    I dont get anything from the doc just use the yogurt. it takes a bit longer to get rid of it but it saves taking so many tablets

    Hope that helps
    Pam

  5. #5
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    Hi Pam,

    I take a multi vitamin with the probiotic stuff in, thanks, and I try to eat "candida-free" but I just had 3 lots of v strong anti biotics and I dont think anything would have stopped the thrush - it wasnt too bad though. But thank you.

    Can your bladder make you feel as if you are about to give birth? Thats how I feel, like a little ping pong ball sized thing is going to come out - I had to have a pregnancy test done, then a test for a pro-lapsed uterus, I have been ging out of my mind!

    Am going to Doc's tomorrow to try to have my Mirena coil removed, in case that is adding to my problems.

    Thanks

    Carla

  6. #6
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    Ive had that feeling too, its like your bits are going to drop out isnt it!!!!

    I can only imagine how horrendous it is for you as it describes how many women feel after giving birth but you dont have your children to help you feel better.

    I am so so sorry for your loss and hope that you have other children though i know it wont replace your little girls!!!!

    Are you getting any counselling and if not get down to the docs and demand it!!!

    This is a great site and people will be here for you.

    take care Honey Love Matilda.

  7. #7
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    hello carla

    welcome
    i am so sorry for the loss of your girls i understand a little bit as 18 months ago we lost my 5 month old grandaughter.
    i dont have any other suggestions to help with the water infection

    netty


    the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

  8. #8
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    Netty, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for your post x
    Matilda, THANK YOU. No one has ever said they have had that pushing feeling just because they have given birth!!!
    I am far too frightened to try again yet, but hopefully one day I will be a mum!

    I think it may be my bladder and my Mirena coil also contributing to the pushing.

    I just really need to get it sorted - am so stressed out by it all!!! x

  9. #9
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    welcome carla.i,m soooo sorry for your loss.it must have been devastating for you both.
    my brother and his wife lost their twin boys at 25 weeks in the same circumstances as you but i can only imagine the pain you are feeling.
    take care and remember that people here will always try to give you any help and advice that you need
    hugs
    rachel x

  10. #10
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    hi carla,

    sorry to hear about your loss. my friends daughter had the same thing happen to her only last month and it was twins also and boy and a girl, the little girl eva survived for 20 mins they where born at 22 weeks and she like you had a water infection. its not your fault, try not to blame yourself.

    also my neice last year carried her baby to full term and arron was still born, it is the most traumatic thing that can ever happen to you and being a mum i fully understand.

    what pain you are going through and all the suffering but the way i look at things is that out of something bad comes something good, i know it may not feel like this at the moment but in time you will. you will never forget but it will get easier,

    i really feel for you at the moment because you are still grieving and the water infection is still bringing the memories flooding back.

    please pm me if you need to talk, i do understand, as i have been through this with my neice.

    take care

    love

    ruth x x

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