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Thread: i just want a friend......

  1. #11
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    Re: i just want a friend......

    That's bad that they can't give you more. I appreciate there are others needing it, but the fact that you can't go out at all surely rates you as needing it more than others.

    There's a cbt programme offered through here, you could tyr that. Cbt4panic.

    How would you feel about taking a small step, say just going to the next lampost from your house or something?
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  2. #12

    Re: i just want a friend......

    Unfortunatly they dont see me as an urgent case which is really crap because obviously this is ruining my life.
    Thats something i will look into for sure!
    The thought of that makes me panic , i cant even put my bins out on the top if my drive xxx

  3. #13
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    Re: i just want a friend......

    Unfortunately the only way to tackle it is to do it, and cbt is part of that. Very small steps though, even opening your door and taking one step out would be a start. You'd have plenty of support on here if you felt panicky. Have a look at cbt 4 panic as it's great for rationalising thoughts etc and explaining feelings. Once you've read it you may feel a little bit more able to face it.

    Have you tried contacting Mind or anyone like that? Xxx
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  4. #14

    Re: i just want a friend......

    Sorry about the late reply.i know, its just so hard to just do it . Ive been looking at the cbt4panic stuff ive had alot of cbt over the years and it just doesnt seem to help i dont get it. Yeh mind is where im on a waitong list for more cbt xxx

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    Re: i just want a friend......

    Hi kirstenmonica .. I was a sufferer for 10 years on and off . I`m months 18 part free of agoraphobia now ,( if it wasn't for my car I would be limited to to where I can go , its what you call my safety bubble) . I had one spell of agoraphobia for 3 years , lost all contact with friends even family members so I know a little of how you must be feeling right now .I think CBT works well for some and not for others . I think with agoraphobia, exposure therapy (and I dont want to sound hard) is the only way out and to face your fear . Im Ok walking local in the area now , If I go out of my comfort zone without the car I go into panic . I've to do an 80 mile journey on Friday in the car and it doesn't bother me at all , yet if I was to walk out doors out of my comfort zone Id be in total panic crazy ? yes I know ! . I've lot of hard work to do myself to be totally free of it but I`m getting there again


    I've set my self daily tasks , just a bit at a time gradually building up as you feel more comfortable and staying out that bit longer

    Do you have someone close to you like a family member that could help talk to you over the phone whilst outdoors ? It may help . I had good support from a nmp member a few years back and that really helped me

    I wish you well in getting over this, take things slowly and you will gradually overcome it like I am doing right now

    Let us know your progress kirstenmonica

    All the best
    Ant

  6. #16

    Re: i just want a friend......

    We all have causes that make us feel the way we do. I am new here so might be saying something that is repeated. things happen in our lives but at the time we don't know they're happening to us, because we are young or vulnerable, over time we 'understand' why they affect us but we don't know how to deal with them.

    The way we feel is sometimes a state of mind, if we have friends, family or just people around we feel connected and secure, if we don't we feel insecure, unconnected, lack confidence and retreat. The more we retreat the more insular and retractable the ''feelings become'' sometimes to the point of desperation which causes us to ''over'' state our psyche or feel that their is no avenue out of our situation.

    I suffered 2 years of desolation and feelings of abandonement [from society] and although it would be easy to state how i came out the other side it would be unjust to express it in a few sentences on a forum. There are people out their just like you and there are people out there just like me. I' am not a clinician or a therapist but i believe in self healing and believe we all have the ability to retrace our steps and assess the way we feel and why but again when we are 'damaged' by experiences it is not easy just to know how it happened but to repair the damage, sometimes the damage is irrepairable.

    One of the ways I helped my self was to use 'my minds eye' I closed my eyes and imagined myself in different situations, starting with venturing out, in my minds eye i ventured further afield until one day i went into town [after 18 months] to have my hair cut which was down to the middle of my back, grey and ginger and brown and looking like a hippie scarecrow, i suppose that for me was my my major step back but not before i took a lot of little steps first, in my minds eye and then for real.
    There are people out there that will help you, we are doing a walk soon in Cardiff for me and you and people like us, use your minds eye and join us for that walk for i will surely think of you while i walk. You are not alone!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    60

    Re: i just want a friend......

    Hi, I am working successfully on on and off agoraphobia medication helps but exposure therapy is the only way to get rid of it............here 4 u if u need a friend jan

  8. #18

    Re: i just want a friend......

    Thank you all for your replies! It makes me feel so much better knowing im not the only one and that people have gotten better!! So exposure it is then ....eek xxxx

  9. #19
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    Re: i just want a friend......

    Good luck! Just remember, small steps. Just 2 steps outside is positive if that's something you can't do at the moment. We're here for you. Let us know how you get on! X
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  10. #20
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    Re: i just want a friend......

    How are things?
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