feeling abandoned by everyone

[happyone]

Hi, I am new here and looking for a wee bit of advice/comfort/similar expereince...anything really!
I have begun visiting a psychologist for cognitive behavioural therapy as I have problems with anxiety/anger and related depression, and I was finding it really tough looking at my feelings and the origins of mood changes. I told her so today and after a lot of talking, I think she said to me that it sounds like I have a good idea of what is the core of my problem. Which is true, I do. However, I feel really lost and alone and unable to deal with my personality.
At the end she asked me, 'do you want another appointment?' and I said yes but I now think I sound all needy and she thinks there is nothing wrong with me and I am scared I am going to be left alone to deal with how I feel. Today has to be the most desperate I have felt in a long time. I had the first big panic attack that I have had in ages and although I knew I would be okay, I felt so trapped in my head.
Sorry if I am incoherent. I just need to spill some of this out.
Happyone

[Melxxx]

Hi Happyone,

Well you are not alone anymore. Welcome to the forum

Mel xxx

[ceecee]

hi happyone wecome to the forum
many people feel the same way as you sometimes.
its just a blip,and soon you will feel better!!!!
take care
rachel x

[creatrix]

Needy is such a harsh word, but I understand how you feel. Try to step back and remember that it always does get better. If you don't feel comfortable with your therapist, maybe you should get a new one. I think, in order for therapy to be effective, you can't be afraid to be yourself with the therapist. You'll be okay, happy. Just hang in there and try to be peaceful. Be kind to yourself, okay?

[bearcrazy]

hope you get as much out of this site as me happyone. I saw my psychologist to day too. its really scary when you have to dig deep into your emotions, and the thought of changing is scary too. the psych tried to get me to see how futile worry is, i have gad, and while i can see what she is saying, it has become a way of life for me, a coping mechanism. I was scared she'd give up on me too. keep going, if you want to get better you have to. even psych's can't really understand, cos they've not had it, its all theory to them.

take care, you are not alone here.

'Be the change you want to see in the world' GHANDI

[Acciaio]

Hi happyone, I understand as I've had similar feelings. My entire life I've strove to be independent and self-reliant, and suddenly I had to spill out all my problems to my family and a counselor I didn't even know. However, it's important to remember sometimes we can't do everything ourselves. I often try to remind myself that talking to a psychologist is NOT being needy; it's being proactive in improving my life. It may not feel like it, but you've taken a huge step to address the problem on your own just by talking to her.

If I were you--even though it's hard--I'd also tell her that even know you think you know you're problem, you're worried about how to solve it. You should tell her exactly what you said here: that you feel lost and unable to deal with your notions of what is wrong with your personality (which it actually sounds like you have a very nice one by the way despite your current troubles).

If you ever feel alone, send me an email or a PM, and I'm more then willing to talk. I've slowly gotten over my anxiety, but I completely understand your pain. I'm still going through the despression deal day by day.

[yorkylover]

Hi happyone,your not alone pet.You will get lots of helpfull advise here.Along with making lots of friends to.

Ellen XX

[happyone]

thank you for your replies. I am feeling a bit brighter today. Talked things through with hubby and he managed to convince me that no problem is insurmountable.
I will speak to the therapist and be honest about how I am feeling. I think that because I was in a panic when I went to see her, I have probably not taken on board half of what she said!

Happyone

[sarah1984]

Dear Happyone,
Don't be scared of sounding needy, I'm sure your therapist wasn't saying that you didn't have anything wrong with you, just that you have a good understanding of the origins of your problem, which is a good start. I think often some therapists ask whether you want another appointment at the end of the first session as not all ppl feel therapy is the thing for them.
Good luck and I'm sure therapists have plenty of experience dealing with probs like yours and will be able to help, but the onus is on the patient trying to come to an understanding of their symptoms and working out the best plan of action for them, with the therapist's guidance.
Love
Sarah

[happyone]

thanks sarah. I never really thought about the therapist thinking I might not want another appointmnet, I can see that some people would say No as they thought it wasn't for them. The silly thing is, what I am supposed to be doing, is trying to stop guessing what people are thinking of me!
I feel much better now that I have a different angle to look at it from.
Today has been a day full of anxieties and panic, but I can feel it lifting!
happyone