Hello, I am hoping for someone to help me with this terrfying problem I have only just started experiencing. About 5 years ago I had my first panic attach, I had no idea what was happening and as everyone can agree, it felt like I was dying. As soon as I found the reasoning behind this attack, I was able to recognise what was happening each time it happened, but it never made it any better or less scary, as each time I am unable to catch my breath. I have gone through a few terrible things in the past 5 years, I terrible break up, family arguments and fall outs, I was sacked from my job unfairly and that caused me a lot of stress as I couldn't afford to live.
The thing is now I am finally happy again and I have a new job, but the other day I was going out to do some errands and I noticed the bus was coming but I had to run to get it otherwise I would miss it, I exerted myself and felt like I couldn't catch my breath again whilst sat on the bus, it got that bad that I started having a massive panic attack, the most terrifying one I have had in a long long time, I was all alone and felt that if I died there and then there would be none of my family to help me.
My hands started to go numb and they went paralyzed so I couldn't use my phone to ring my family. I had to tell myself I would be ok to finally calm myself down again, it did work but ever since that day I have been concentrating on my breathing none stop to the point of panic and I worry I am going to die from lack of oxygen, I keep having to yawn or take a deep breath to feel relief again but it starts up again not even a minute later. It is worse at night as I have no distractions and I am just thinking thinking thinking about my breath and my lungs feel like they have a tightening clasp on them as I am doing that to myself, but I find that if I relax and forget about breathing, I don't get that tightening clasp feeling, it's almost as if my relaxed state 'releases' my lungs and sets them free.
I am so scared that this is how I am going to be for the rest of my life, I am only 27 and I have so much to be excited about but nothing is taking my mind off this problem, it gets so bad that I think to myself - ''I'd rather be dead than go through this'' and that's not good at all because I have so much to live for!! I worry that I wont get a good nights sleep ever again thanks to this, last night I tried listening to relaxing music to take my mind off it but I found that I still hadn't drifted off at 5 am, or at least I hadn't reached REM sleep but I did drift off eventually because I had a few dreams, but it just takes ages because I'm constantly focusing.
Sorry that this is long but can anybody give me advice on how to live a normal life again? I'm going to the doctors on Tuesday because I am also worried about asthma, but I know that I have suffered with anxiety all my life. Does anybody have any techniques that work or have a suggestion on how to get rid of that 'clasping' feeling even if I AM concentrating on breathing?
Advice much appreciated!!