What other people think...........

[Coni]

Hi,

like many others I can totally relate to whats been said on this thread.

The big question for me is 'how do you learn to like yourself?' I keep searching for an answer to this but I never seem to find it....at least not something that will make me truly believe and feel in my heart that I am ok.

I can know all the right things in my head, but I dont 'feel' them (does this make any sense lol??)

I would like to feel ok about me, but I dont. I go through the motions every day, and I function ok at the moment, but that feeling that Im just no good seeps into every aspect of my life. I cant even bear to look at photos of myself (in fact I havent allowed anyone to take a photo of me for years...my kids find that odd I must admit lol!)

I'm now seeing a psychologist to try to get to the bottom of this, I'm tired of going round and round in circles and living like this, and I want to do my best to make sure my children dont go through the same things (though I may already be too late on that.)

Sorry if Ive rambled....I find it very interesting that so many of us feel the same.

Take care all

Coni X

[net]

my therapist is trying to help me with this problem. i hope she can cos its starting to affect how i am with friends i'm shutting myself off before they can reject me.

but trac how do you start liking yourself?

netty


the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past

[Coni]

Hi Nigel,

Once again such wise words....thank you for your post. I'm glad you understood what I meant...sometimes I think I'm not very clear.

I'm going to try tha hypnosis download...I never thought of it as being an ideal complement to consciously working on my thoughts...and yet now youve pointed it out it makes perfect sense.

Everything youve said is so true (of myself and many others I suspect)

Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Take care

Coni x

[keepemlaughing]

Lickey,
Believe it or not when we chat on the line, I have always pictured you as an intelligent, non-shy, very good advice giver. You come across as a very personable person who I for one have enjoyed talking to. I look forward to seeing you in the room!! YOu actually brighten MY day. So, my point: you never know what others are thinking of you. YOu may imagine all day long, and we do tend to negatise other's opinions. Keep your head up. I love ya
Sheryl

Sheryl

[Paddington]

Cant believe i missed this thread..oh the blessed relief to see i am in good company.I too am constantly thinking about what others think of me,and it is always bad and negative,i thought the egg man lady was laughing at me on saturday!I ask if i have something on my face ,all the time ..it must drive folk mad but i think people are staring and sniggering!My sister told me i was all ego ,that hurt so much so i have not mentioned my inner fears since incase i look egotistical.I have serious issues with self esteem and self perception,some say i am body dismorphic,i say i am funny lookin!!lol!!Oh i am glad i found you guys!Love mary rose.xxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[Coni]

Hi Mary Rose,
I remember my mum telling me to stop being so bigheaded and asking what made me think I was so special that anyone would want to look at me....believe me my self consciousness was in no way being bigheaded...like you I was gutted that anyone would think that.

so yes you're in good company lol!

love coni X

[scaredycat2001]

hi all,
i've only just caught up with this thread but it feels like home from home! coni, i had to smile when i read what your mum used to say as i still feel the sting now when i remember my mums sneared "do you honestly think anyone would want to look at you?" in mum's defence she didnt mean to be horrid, she just didnt realise there was a real problem.
anyway, i'll stop waffling!
will be keeping up with this thread now, i think it will be very useful to many of us here.
thanx you lot
scaredycat

[LickeyEndBlues]

Hi All,

I can't believe I haven't come back on this thread!! I did try to contact each of you to thank you for your contributions and as a result have left it!!

However............................

Without going into detail of what happened in NMP last night, as I feel the essense isn't to important, it lead me to searching this thread out and re reading it.

Cutting a long story short, there was a bit of a row last night resulting in a member being asked to leave the site. I have become friends with that member and do chat a lot, jest, tease, flirt etc. This is something in my nature and probably relates to my insecurities and feeling of being liked by others.

Since the ejection, I have spoken with some people in here and I am really concerned at what they think about that "relationship" and me as a person by assosciation. I have tried to clarify my position and have spoken again with the individuals concerned but here I am 12 hours or so later still worrying about other peoples perceptions.

Iain

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

[LickeyEndBlues]

Spacecadet.....we have spoken about this situation in PM and chat, hopefully the "shallow" perception has been addressed in your mind,

Not sure if this is shallow, but this thread is about me and what people think of me and my feelings on that.

As a result of what happened the other night and the on going rumblings, I have found myself really thinking about what I say and to whom in terms of any validation it may have.

I am in here for myself, and within that I have had great support and it is in my nature to give that back.....oddly enough I like to be liked. I recognise that that doesn't happen with everyone but when a discourse starts it is not difficult to judge where it is going to go and whether or not it will develop.

Within this site we are all individuals and should be judged that way, not by association................sadly I feel judged by certain members who don't really know me......then again maybe it is my twisted thinking!!!!

Iain



What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?