Cant Take Much More

[kate]

Hiya Caz,

I have just read your post and can completely understand how you have been feeling.

But wow, you did such a lot last night! Give yourself a big pat on the back, you deserve it!

Just another thought. You say that the garden needs doing. If we get some nice weather over the next few day, put baby in the buggy and let your 5 year old have a good run round in the garden.

You will all benefit from the fresh air and you will get your garden done as well!

Doing the garden always makes me feel good cos you then have a lovely outside area to sit in.

Finally, when I was feeling at my worst and the children were little, I used to take them for a walk round the block, anything to get a change of scenery!

Anyway, hope you are feeling a little better today

Love Kate x

[pips]

Hi Caz,

Well done hon. you did good! Glad to hear you are having a more positive day!

Take care

Love Pip's XX

[jo-jo]

Hi Caroline

So glad your feeling a little better

Have a great weekend now and don't forget to do something just for you.

Lots of love Jo xxx

P.s. was Jordan's book any good??

[Caz Fab Pants]

Well I haven't got very far with the list I was planning and its already saturday night but I'm hoping I will have a productive day tomorrow and tackle some jobs around the house.

Jo.m - I dont really know what I CAN do for me?? That probably sounds silly but I dont know what I enjoy anymore because its been so long since I've had any 'ME' time.
I'm so lacking in confidence that I'm scared to do most things I used to enjoy. Although I know that the time I spend at home worrying about doing something is nearly always worse than actually going out and doing it!

Pips - Thanks honey, I'm trying to soldier on and keep up with the outings.

Did my Tesco shop without any kids with me today which wasn't easy. I find having at least one of them with me is a good distraction and so when I got to the check out and just had to stand there my mind began ticking, then racing. I always go through the 'what excuse can I make if I need to run out' - forgotten purse, fake a call on my mobile. I then talk myself round by saying 'think how silly you'll look, people will think you're odd' and then I think about how hard it will be to shop in there the next time I need something. [Sigh...]

End result being, I got through it fine and then went on to buy 2mag's at the tabaco counter and flicked through them while I sat in the canteen. Never like to rush home until I've got through the bad feelings otherwise it just reinforces that being at home makes everything ok. Need to prove to myself that its nothing external that makes me feel panicky, its just the way I percieve them in my mind that makes me automatically react negatively.

Starting to worry a bit about the meet at Nic's but am determined to go.

Caroline
x

[nomorepanic]

Hiya Caz

The meet at my house will be great but you are under no pressure to come. If you decide on the day that you can't make it then that is fine, we will all understand. Maybe I could come and see you if you can't get to me.

We look forward to it and I am sure you will be finw once you get there ok? I look forward to meeting you and we will all have a great chat won't we.

xx

Nicola

[jo-jo]

Hiya Caz

Hope you're feeling OK today - how was your weekend?

Maybe you could start being nice to yourself by getting some time just to be on your own for a hour and taking a walk in the park, or by pampering yourself in a hot bath with some lovely smellies, or maybe you could rent a real feelgood video (something like love actually, or even a great oldie like Dirty Dancing) and get lots of sweets and crisps and other rubbish and settle down after the kids have gone to bed to enjoy snuggling up on the sofa with a box of tissue, all your goodies and maybe a glass of wine??

Lots of love Jo xxxx

[Caz Fab Pants]

Well sadly things are up one minute and down the next. After my productive weekend spent clearing out junk and sorting out what to put in my yard sale I seem to have fallen back into old habits.

I just wrote a massive explanation as to why this is but deleted it because I don't want to bore the pants off you.

Here are the reasons in 5 simple sentences:-

1. 5yr old son with mild autism and ADHD
2. No life outside the family home due to agoraphobia
3. 6-7wk Summer holiday with no break from kids
4. Messy house and endless supply of dirty washing
5. Strain of 5yr old has stopped physical relationship with partner

Now if someone can give me the solutions for all the above in 5 easy steps I'll be very appreciative

Jo.m - I tell you what would make me happy, someone coming round to steam clean my carpet and giving me a full body massage but dont suppose I'll get round to organising either of them.

Nic - I will be at the meet because I've set my heart on it and its my only real goal which is just for ME.

Hope I haven't brought you all down with me.

Caroline
x

[lainey]

Hi Caroline

Sorry to hear you are not feeling so good, the thought of 6 weks summer holidays can seem quite daunting can't they ? Do you get any help with the children ? I'm glad you're going to the meet as it is something for you. My house is always in a state of chaos but iv'e decided the kids are young for such a short time i'm not going to get stressed this summer as i normally do, just go with the flow !!!

Take care chuck

Elainexxx

[Caz Fab Pants]

Elaine,

Wish I could take a leaf out of your book and not worry about the house. Trouble is I have 2sisters who are very house proud and a brother who lives in a penthouse appartment in London (which apparently is lovely but I'm not able to get there.)

It just seems that whenever I clean and tidy a room in the house within minutes, literally, that room gets trashed. Then there's the rooms that dont get used much which barely get touched (like the utility room) and they're just gross!

I've tried to get my 5yr old into a holiday scheme but because he has to have one to one adult supervision at all times its been impossible. The only scheme thats for children with special needs say he's not severe enough and therefore doesn't fit the criteria. So the only help I'll be getting will be from relatives and that wont be very often I'm sure.

I do get an allowance for my son which is useful and definitely helps but I'd much rather not get it and have a normal healthy child.

Good luck with your kids this holiday, how many do you have?

Caroline
x

[lainey]

Hi Caroline

I really feel for you are there no support groups you can contact with regards to your son? Children can be hard work at the best of times, I have 2, a son whose nearly 13 and a girl of 9 goung on 13 !!! lol. I have to tell you as they get older they get easier physically but harder mentally. I ahve never had help with the children as all our family are up north and we live in cardiff and my husband normally works in London. It's only when I look back to when they were younger and wonder how I coped that I realse I did cope, mostly on my own ! Ther is light at the end of the tunnel although it's harder for you as your son ha s special needs, but i'm sure there must be help u can get, I wil enquire for u as I am a school secretary and will ask our SENCO. As to the house I normally get very stressed when I ahven't claened or done the washing but I am trying really hard to ignore it although in a few days time i know i won't be able to. Take it one day ata time chuck and u will get there in the end.

Keep your chin up chuck

Take care

Elaine xxx