my wosrt nightmare,,come true,,

[imported_n/a]

hi guys,,,

[Sigh...]

my world has today been turned upside down,,

as you are all aware some of us who have agraphobia ,have a ""safe"" place,,and my flat is my safe place,,

i have been with my landlord for quite a number of years ,,and just this morning recieved a letter tottaly out of the blue saying he was turning the flats where i live back into a house,,

there are 2 flats where i am and the ground floor is empty,i have been here nearly 8 years and have some of the best neibours anyone could wish for,,i really do like this place,,

gosh i can hardley make it a mile away from my house on a bad day,,so how am i going to be able to move,,,
they say moveing home is 1 of the most stressful things anyone can go through[Sigh...]so how hard is it going to be for an anxiety sufferer??/

i am at a real low today guys any comments or support or ideas would be most most welcomed,,

i have tried looking on the positive side ,,which is unusual for me,,and thinking well this could be a blessing in disguise ,,i mean have i been stuck in a rutt just because i feel safe down here???

maybe this could help me??????with my anxiety and give me a kick start to overcomeing it???

i really dont know what to think at the moment ,i guess it hasnt sunk in yet properly,,,
after an hour of recieving the letter i was gonna go to bed for the afternoon cause i couldnt cope with the thought of moveing,,but something inside said NO get yourself together and go as far as you can and see if you can see any flats or houses for rent,,,so i did,,i saw 2 ,,but not as nice as where i am now,,

:(:(:(

i called my landlord this morning and had a brief chat,,he said he would come down on saturday morning and disscuss things with me,,so i guess all i can do now is brick it until saturday morning,,

i will let you all know how i get on ok,,

thanks ,,,,

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""



xxxxdarrenxxxx

[jo-jo]

Hi Darren

So sorry to hear the bad news about your flat - I guess when you've somewhere nearly 8 years it really is a tough blow, especially as its your safe haven.

I think what you have to do now is try to accept that unfortunately its happening for real. Maybe you could start to cope by making a list of all things you will have to do to complete the move. When it comes down to it this will help enormously as the most stressful thing about moving is the unexpected happening (I've moved 3 times in the last year and have good experience of this [:P]). If you plan ahead, it will really help to make things go a lot more smoothly.

You really are doing remarkably well - you're right, seeing the move as a challenge will help you through and who knows, it could be a turning point for you in many ways? And you've been to see 2 flats already? Well that's fantastic. You will find the right one but sometimes it takes a bit of doing. You also have to imagine what the place will be like with all your own stuff in it too. A home is what you make it, and I have no doubt you'll make it comfortable and cosy in no time at all.

Do you have anyone that could help you on the day and running up to the move? Having someone to chat to (even on the phone) or to help you sort through boxes etc can really help keep those stress levels down as much as possible. If all else fails, you could try seeing your doc for something to tide you over the actual move day.

Most of all, don't beat yourself up about this - anyone would feel pretty bad if they had just found that they were going to have to move from a home they love, from neighbours they get on with and from somewhere they have been settled for a long time. Try to treat yourself if you can, even if its just a long hot bath or time out to read a good book. Its really important that you take care of yourself right now, you WILL get through this just fine and will come out the other side wondering what all the fuss was about .

Lets us know how things are going.

Take care
Love Jo xxx

[imported_n/a]

WOW,,,

HEY THANKS JO,,

you have given me so much to think about there ,,

you are so kind,,
you have moved 3 times gosh,,how did you cope??

unfortunatly i live alone,, and only my mum knows about my problems,,so it is going to be twice as hard to move,,,

but i will bear your comments in mind ,,

thank you very much again jo,,,

xx

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""



xxxxdarrenxxxx

[jo-jo]

Hey Darren

There's nothing wrong with 'only' your mum knowing - that's great, you have someone to talk to and who understands. My mum is definately my best friend and as she's suffered on and off with anxiety/panic/agrophobia on and off for 35 years she's really cool with it.

I lived alone too for 4 years and I agree, its definately harder when there's no one else around to carry boxes and give emotional support etc. Maybe you could have a good old clear out in the weeks running up to the move to make things easier on the day - you could even see it as freeing yourself of some emotional clutter, you know, leaving the past behind and making a new start and all that.

I think you are doing brilliantly [Wow!] and should be very proud of yourself for how you are handling this. I think us anxious folk must be very similar because whenever I have a crisis the first thing I do is head to my bed too to block the world out. Even though I'm loads better now than I was a couple of months ago, if I feel yuk I still head straight for my pit.

You will get through this just fine, we are all here for you hon

Lots of love Jo xxx

I really do think this could be a pos

[jo-jo]

Sorry rambled on so much forgot to answer your question [Oops!]

I handled my moves by planning, making millions of lists, checking things off the lists, double checking things were going to be done - basically trying to be in control of it all rather than it being in control of me

Love Jo xxx

[Caz Fab Pants]

I can only imagine how you must be feeling as I know how hard I would find moving house right now.

It sounds as though you're mentally preparing yourself however and as Jo said, veiwing other flats already which is fantastic.

Even if you find the move difficult, you will survive it and perhaps even gain strength from doing it.

All I can compare it to is when I was pregnant with my first son I was struck really hard by the feelings of agoraphobia I had been fighting and ended up house bound for some months. However, as bad as I felt, I knew I HAD to get to the hospital to have the baby which meant a 9mile drive and then a 5day stay as I was having a caesarian.

I made myself ill with worry and dreaded the day I would have to get in my car and drive to the hospital but I DID IT. I survived, I had a beautiful baby and after the 5days was up, instead of going home, my partner, baby and I went to stay with my parents who live about 5miles from me.

So Darren, I really do believe that you will get through this and come out the other side unscathed. Keep us posted on all the latest ok.

Take care,
Caroline
x

[imported_n/a]

hi jo,,

thanks again,,

i am already starting to make lists like some kind of control freak lol,,

but it will help me i know and most certainatly take some of the worry away,,

thanks,,,

xx

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""



xxxxdarrenxxxx

[imported_n/a]

hi caroline,,

how are you??

thanks for your reply,,

i really dont know how yu managed all that what you went through but hey i guess you had no choice,,but you did do really really well,,i admire you caz,,

were you completly house bound for them few months caz or could you go so far???

and how are you doing now can you get to go places??/or do you still have a ""comfort zone""??

well caz i am sure if you can do all that ,,this moveing thing of mine should be a sinch???HOPEFULLY,,,

HEY CAZ THANKS,,

XXX

""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""



xxxxdarrenxxxx