So many eye floaters and dark speck on iris

[Sarahjosephine]

Hi everyone,
Im 25 and have suffered from HA since I was 15. So a few months ago I noticed a dark eye floater in my right eye at night and I was feeling really anxious about it but kind of just ignored it the days afterwards then something awful happened and I lost my boyfriend suddenly. My life felt frozen and the pain of losing him was too much to bare it's not been about 2 months since he passed and my HA has come back tenfold. I noticed the eye floater again and became obsessed with it, then I noticed a dark speck in my iris when I looked in the mirror around the part the eye floater is so I started freaking out even more. This anxious has overwhelmed me...now when I'm out side I see heaps of floaters, some clear, some dark fuzzy balls, some lines wih dark bits on them and it's become so debilitating that as soon as I wake I feel sickly anxious and don't want to get up to see the day or go outside at all. Christmas has been etremely hard for me as all I've felt is like I'm going mad and I told my mum and she said she will take me to the optometrist but I'm so scared to go and find out something horrible: I feel like this has been such a hard year and that's it's like bad luck or somehong so if I go I'm going to get told bad news. I also usually wear glasses and I have astigmatism but haven't had my glasses for about a year due to them breaking. I just want to know how many other people suffer from this?? I looked up giggle and read some really scary things that has made me freak out so much. How do I deal with this anxiety? My friend said don't worry about it until you get it checked but that just made me think that it has to be something bad then. My mum said she has eye floaters and so does my dad but it's still not reassuring me and they kind of are like cob webs are I read that's bad too. I don't want to do anything but sit in a dark room and cry and losin my boyfriend who always reassured me is making this so hard to deal with as well. I just want my life back.

[RoseEve]

I'm so sorry about your boyfriend passing and that you are having such a hard time. Okay, first I noticed over the summer that all of a sudden I see lots of floaters. Especially when looking at something bright like the sky. I m a teacher and I noticed that when I'm grading I see floaters. So you are not alone. Secondly, almost everyone sees floaters it's part of aging. Thirdly, I also get nervous when I see floaters but it's because when you have health anxiety you are super aware of changes in your body that other people don't give a second thought too. I hope you feel better soon. I know how consuming these thoughts are.

[Leslie735]

I am so very sorry for the passing of your boyfriend. *hugs* I will keep you in my prayers. I see floaters sometimes as well, have for many years. I noticed them if I turn my head to the side really hard or sometimes just out of nowhere. I've always heard they can be normal.

[Sarahjosephine]

Thank you for your kind words :-( it's really hard. He was always my rock and now I feel lost and empty. My eyes have been driving me crazy though, they are also sore and I am so afraid of losing my sight...the world and the beauty in it is what makes me so happy and now I can barely look outside. They are also inside though. It's really hot in Australia today and I'm meant to go to the beach...I'm nervous...

[Sarahjosephine]

Okay so I went to the optometrist today and got a full eye exam and she took pictures of the back of my eyes and said they are healthy besides my asitgmatism and said the dark speck is just pigmintation and common in fair people but I still feel overwhelmed with anxiety and impending doom. How can I beat this? Why can't I be happy? I still see all the floaters and they bother me more than ever. I wanted to cry my eyes out at the optometrist and I am meant to be going away for new years but am finding everything so hard without my Riley. I need some reassurance :-(

[Althea]

Sarahjosephine, you've lost someone you loved. Of course you're going through a hard time, and it's not uncommon to displace that grief by being anxious about other things. Have you looked into a support group or grief counseling? I know you came here with HA issues, but just having some additional help through the grieving process may help a lot too.

A little jaunt for New Year's might be a nice break, but I think that you need to take care of yourself and not beat yourself up for finding things hard right now.