i just can't do this anymore

[mooks]

had gad & depression for 10 yrs ...been on meds and been ok...had big drop 7 weeks ago meds were increased and started to feel better after a few weeks ...completely crashed again this weekend now today I feel worse than ever...
I just want to be happy...my life is goos ...no reason to suffer this dread ful illness...cant seem to be able to do anything ...even washing my hair is a terrible thought....
My gp has reffered me to a pcsychiatric team in 2 weeks but Im not hopeful...Christmas is coming and I really dont want to bring my family down...I worry my hubby has lost patience..

[nomorepanic]

Hi there

Did you read all the replies to your other post as well..

what sucks!!!!

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[Chopper]

Hang in there Sarah, you're not alone.

Don't dread Xmas, it's just another day ... some bloke's birthday isn't worth upsetting yourself!

I've found that accepting you've 'issues' and talking openly about them really does help. I found it really difficult toarticulate how I felt/feel but once you get over the initial admission that you're unwell it comes easier. I reckon I'm now an Aggitated Depression bore, the amount I talk about my condition!!

I know it's difficult and sometimes you feel that the only light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train but, with help and the support of forums like this one, you'll realise there is hope.

Think of the positives in your life, I'm sure there are many and you don't need me to list them for you.

Keep posting and let us know how you're coping?

Happiness and light to you,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[Sax]

Hiya mooks,

So sorry to hear you are feeling this way at the moment. I feel Nic made some excellent remarks in her reply to you other post, please re read they maybe some comfort to how you are feeling right now.

Christmas isn't to dread, take each day as it comes, don't look that far ahead and also don't judge how the psychiatric referral will go before it happens. It just might be a positive move, who knows!!!!

Deal with the here and now not the future until you feel stronger and more able to cope. Express your feelings and accept them without fighting them but know you are not alone, most here can comprehend all you say. Its horrid yes but you can and will get through this it just takes some self belief which I know is so much easier said than done.

Maybe catch you in chat soon, welcome to NMP

love Sax xxx

[vernon]

Hi sarah so sorry you are feeling so bad again. I have suffered on and off for many years, in fact most of my life and I am 57 now. But there has been lots of good times and I too had a real big setback about 2 years ago, I couldnt get out of bed and didnt leave the house for weeks, I think it was the worst I had ever been. But, it did get better it always does, then for a long time I was at my best gardening odd jobs around the house it was unbeleivable the change. I think a big secret is keeping bussy and dont let your mind get empty, Its so hard to push and do things when you feel this way but it does work slowly but surely. Now I have noticed I am comming down again, but hopfully nothing like last time. Maybe even the long dark nights and cold wet weather of winter helps put us down even more? Hold in there Sarah, It will soon be spring again and as you know you will get over this yet again. Hope you feel better soon. Vernon

[Chopper]

Sarah/Vernon,

I've had 'bad days' during the Autumn/Winter too, every year since 2001, and this year have been using a lightbox to simulate natural light - I've got it on now in front of my screen - and even if it is a placebo I've found that unlike a lot of people on Citalopram (I'm on 40mg a day) I'm sleeping well at night.

Since the clocks went back I've been using the box for longer each day (from 07:45 until, probably, around 11:30 today) and going to bed earlier each night. But even if my days are getting shorter at least I'm sleeping longer.

Like I said, it might be a placebo but it's certainly not doing me any harm. It's not like looking at a spotlight or squinting into a bright light it's more of a 'glow' if you like.

I've got mine horizontal on my desk right in front of me and can easily read my screen. It's not intrusive and my colleagues don't mind it being on. Some even ask if you can get a tan with it?!

They're not cheap but if you're interested have a look at:

http://www.lumie.com/brightlights/index.htm

The model I use is the Brightspark, which I've just this second switched off!

Hope you feel better soon Sarah.

Happiness and light to you all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[mooks]

Hi guys
thanks for letting me know..I have read the other threads and the point Nic made are good...I think when you hit a crisis point you lose faith in the meds, doctors..and the fact that things have been good..part of the severe anxiety and depression...I guess thats why I post meesages...just to get a response from others who feel the same way etc..
I am reading everyones messages of hope and experience...I do feel maybe Pyschatrist will help as maybe Meds have pooped out..Do they ??
Sorry if Im posting to much and I feel awful not giving other people encouragement its just hard when your so low..But if I ever get out of this Im goona make sure everybody who suffers is reassued
Much love xxxx
I think you worry the pepole you love will just give up on you as it affect rtheir life

[yorkylover]

Ho mooks,sorry your feeling crappy:(Iv had a few bad days lately.Not looking forward to christmas,but its going to come so have to make the best of it.I satr counselling tomorrow,and I must think positive about it and you need to think positive about the psychiatric team.hang in there pet.

Ellen XX

[vernon]

Thanks Chopper I have often thought about a light bax, really worth looking into.

[LickeyEndBlues]

Stick in there Mooks, consider what has been said by everyone. I havent much to add other than, it will lead to better days.

Thinking about you.

Iain

Laissez les bon temp roulez