Coping with children

[loucom82]

Hi,

Am a long time panic and anxiety sufferer. Up to 12 months ago I was feeling quite good as I was on Fluoxetine, but had to come off them as I got pregnant with my third child. I now have a seven year old, five year old and 5 week old.

I have become progressively worse since the birth and am now in my first week back on fluoxetine. I know the next few weeks will be awful as I've been here before.

My question is, how on earth do people manage to cope with the daily needs of life with young children. I have got to the point that the school run is hell on earth, and I really don't think I can do it tomorrow. At the moment I feel able to look after my baby boy as he sleeps a lot, however, I know the side effects of the meds are going to get a lot worse.

Everything is running through my head. How will the kids get to school, what happens if I have a major panic when I'm on my own with the baby. My Husband is self employed so if he doesn't work, we don't earn. He remembers what it was like last time I started meds, but says this time it wont be so bad, and is expecting me to do school run, look after the baby etc on my own.

DO other with young children just try to get on with it and live with the panic or if you are really bad, do you give yourself time to recover and step back from everything. The guilt of doing this for me is horrible.

I know this could have gone in the flux section, but this section seems to get more traffic. Helps me to write it all down.

[sunday]

Morning, yes i am the same. my anxiety started 6 months after my little girl was born and i have been like it ever since. i feel like both of us have missed out on lots because of it. i do try and do all the normal things, but know that i could be going to more events, mums and tots groups etc when i feel down about it i try and remember that some parents dont do hardly anything with their kids, even when they havent got these issues! i relay a lot on my hubby taking her out to places that i cant go to but then i worry that she will get so used to daddy doing all of the exciting things with her!

when i feel at my worse i have to retreat to my bed but i dont like my daughter seeig me do this as i wouldnt want her to think its normal.

its hard!

[cloudbusting]

Hi both
My daughter is older, she's 12, but I have had panic and anxiety on and off since she was 4. It is very, very difficult I know. Alongside the usual guilt and worry we have as parents we have this added stress and the constant worry that we are letting our kids down in some way.
The fact that we worry just shows that we are good parents and need to go easy on ourselves.
Support is the key here and I let my friends know what was going on so that, If I ever did need help with the school run or whatever they could step in.
Loucom, you need to let your husband know that, for now, you won't be able to do as much as you would like to around the home and with your family. If you had a broken limb he wouldn't expect you to just get on with everything, would he ? So spell out to him exactly what you would like him to help you with, bathing the older two, cooking tea a couple of times a week or whatever it is.
Sunday, as for retreating to bed, I need to do that too sometimes. Over the years my daughter has got on the bed with me and we have watched a film or just chatted or read a book together.
I have stopped referring to it as 'anxiety' as its too general a term for me and you often get people saying oh yeah, I'm so stressed now as well, but they don't really know what it's like. I say that I have a nervous illness, it seems to get a more sympathetic and serious reaction from people and assuages my 'guilt' when I feel at my worst and can't do things. So, you could try that !
W're doing our best in a very, very difficult situation and our children love us anyway.
My love and best wishes to both of you xxx

[sunday]

xx

[fruity]

the school run helps when i can do it because i work 2 jobs morning & tea times. but i look at my kids & they all make me happy. i feel no anxiety for that split second & it,s great

[loucom82]

Thanks for all the replies. Haven't had too many SE from flux today, just jolting awake everytime I try to close my eyes. Have a feeling the next few days will be the test.

My husband has arranged everything so i don't have to do any school runs this week, which I know may seem like avoidance, but the last thing I need is a full blown panic at the minute. He has really taken charge which is brilliant and so all I have to do this week is look after myself and the little one.

[cloudbusting]

glad to read that loucom
xxx