WHY DO I DO THAT???

[Laurie28]

Hiya Guys,

I need to get somethings off my chest. pls bear with me!!!

Okay sometimes I really p**s myself off, I'm not taljking to my mother for various reasons and haven't done for weeks and it is possible I will never again cause a) i don't know i can cope with her
b) i am a stubborn mule!!!

My bet friend in all the world is not talking to me and I am not talking to her cause I told somenoe something she told me. I am the worst friend in the world, we ended up arguing (by bloody e-mail would you believe) and we both said things that were well out of order. I apologised 4 times and I will jot apologise again a) because she seriously overreacted (although I did not tell her that) and b I cannot keep apologising for this and c) she said some stuff that was well out of order

So in the last 2 months I have basically lost my mother and my best friend - sometimes I could slap myself really!!

Last night I had an anxiety attack (which never escalated to panic) and I was freaking about smells, gas boiler and my hair dye


Anyway I have not got a clue why I am acting like this and I seem to get really peeved off about small things, I am bringing my anxiety/panic back and I know I am doing it aaaggghhhh!!!!

Sorry had to write this

Lucky

[grace]

hi lucky,

dont beat yourself up, you are a good person.

so you said something you shouldnt of..... havent we all done that.
you said you were sorry, what else can you do. i'm sure that your friend will be ok when she's cooled off, but your right you shouldnt keep apologising,once is enough. did she apologise to you for what she said? maybe you should call her round and talk it through, tell her that you are really sorry for what you said but that you cant keep saying it and that she really upset you aswell,if she is a good friend you will make it up.

you sound a bit like me getting upset over small things, with me its when im tired or the time of the month.

me and my mam always fought. we sometimes went years without talking. she never looked after me when i was little, i lived with grandparents,then in kids homes so i always had something against her. we dont fight now, i think its cos now i think i wouldnt be where i am now if it wasnt for my childhood. and my mam doesnt fight with me now ,i think cos i have my own businesses and i dont need anything off her
anyway, mams and daughters always fight and make friends again, so dont worry too much, im sure whatever you fell out over you can make up.

you always have your friends on here... we're always around for you....

xxx grace


its better by far at the rainbows end
to find not gold but the love of a friend.

[Meg]

Hi Lucky,

Your Mum: you have a lot to cope with on that front and with her medical issues its unlikely to ever resolve itself positively and she is hard to communicate with because of it all.

This may have caused tou to feel very snappy and fraught which has come out as passing on something on that you know you shouldn't have but its done now and cannot be retrieved .
Saying ' you're the worst friend in the world ' is a mighty overexageration and is just how you feel today . 4 months ago you would not have said that and probably won't in 4 months time either ..!!

I think you're possibly like a pressure cooker at the moment and this anxiety last night was the pressure valve escaping .

Have you got kids and things under your feet and not enough time to do everything ?

Exercise and relaxation and a bit of peace and quiet may be in order.



Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[Laurie28]

Hiya,

Thanks for the nice words.

My friend never apologised to me and I have not apologised again to her. This is blown totally out of proportion.

I must admit to being 'stressed' at the moment. I have changed my hours at work to 9am - 5pm (mon to friday), my partner has now started working full time again 6pm -2am (any 5 days out of 7). So basically what happens is that I get in from work my partner and I get about 10 minutes together (for a quick handover), by the time he gets in I am in bed asleep and when I leave for work I wake him up!!!!
In the mornings I get the youngest dressed and fed (my partner doesn't get enough sleep as it is without getting up to that!!!)

At nights I do housework, dishes from dinner (which my partner makes for me coming home!!!) and get the kids ready for bed. I have to try and make time for the kids to play which isn't always easy i must admit as terrible as it sounds!

And then the weekend comes and goes without me noticing!!!

Relaxation is proving to be a bit of a problem, although my youngest is in his bed sleeping by 8ish and the oldest is out playing and then in, washed and bedded!!!

I try and have an hour to myself at night to do what I want.

This situation has to work though as it is the onll way we can both work without paying someone else to look after our kids!!(which costs a blimmin fortune anyway!!) and we both need to work for financial reasons.
I get annoyed because my partner has a night of this weekend (1st one in AGES as he used to work nightshift weekends) and before I knew it he had arranged to go to the pub with his mates wheras it would have been nice if we went to the cinema or something together (babysitter permitting of course!!)

God I can go on can't I!!!

Anyway i have taken a weeks holiday from work next week and hope to spend some good quality time with my kids

Love
Lucky

[Meg]

Hi Lucky,

So another time - you have an evening out and away from it all as he has arranged for himself this time. He is also probably feeling the strain as he's taken on much more work than he's used to doing.

Females want to talk and be together wheras men just want a complete change of scenary and if they cannot have both often the change of scenary wins - like our distraction when anxious.
Thus the growth in lots of men sitting round a pond fishing in complete silence .

Perhaps you could get a sitter one night next week and on one of his two evenings off have your time together out .

Meanwhile you recognise that you being stressed probably explains your snappiness . Maybe your friend was stressed too and between you it was a eruption scenario waiting to happen..



What did your friend decide about her pregnancy ?







Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[Laurie28]

Hiya meg,

I think I will ask him to go to the cinema perhaps on Sunday and then we both get what we want!

My friend (or rather her husband) decided they wanted to keep the baby after all.

I'm glad for her because I was very worried about her wellbeing if she done something like this to please a man.
I will be keeping a close eye though as she is quite up and down about it!!!

Lucky