Scared to take - first time on medication

[Shelly06]

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and she prescribed me Sertraline 50mg I picked them up, put them in a drawer and have worried for the past few weeks about taking them, I Googled everything I could and worked myself right up about having to take SSRIs. Heard they're not safe, some people regretted ever starting them, the side effects scare the hell out of me (though as people tell me and the mental health nurse said today, when they do the tests on these things even if one person experiences a headache they have to put that on the warnings) in my mind though I'm going to get all the bad things maybe every side effect going.

So anyway, I told the mental health nurse all of this (and here I've been trying to convince myself that I don't need medication) So she basically said because I've done so much research and reading into the Sertraline she didn't think I'd take them and I told her that my problem is more anxiety and not really depression. So she said she was putting me on something more for anxiety and that would come with fewer side effects. So I'm to take one tablet a day 10mg. I collected my tablets and they're sat in the drawer next to the Sertraline at the moment. I did Google a bit before and read something about heart problems and big warnings that scared the hell out of me, but I'm not letting myself Google anymore as I know if I do I definitely won't take them and I can't keep buying medication I don't have the money to waste on and collecting them all never to take them.

I'm on the fence with the thought of taking them at the moment, so scared but have read some good things on here and not too bad side effects and they can help, but don't know. I'm worried if I take one I'll get into a panic about what might happen and then just sit here waiting to feel the slightest change and side effect. It's giving me a huge stomach ache just thinking about all of this.

So are they really dangerous and could they ruin my heart and give me a heart attack or anything? Or do permanent damage to my brain? I'm shaking my head even asking it but I need to and my family here are no help they just think I'm crazy.

Are they worth taking? What exactly are they supposed to make you feel like?

At the moment I don't go out much though I can force myself to. I worry about everything and anything, family dying is a big one, my dog getting ill or attacked is another one, but it can be anything. I am not always in high anxiety, is it always there but sometimes when my mind is off it I can feel more relaxed than other times when I'm sitting there thinking about it all.

I have Social Anxiety as well GAD and Health Anxiety which is better some months than others. I can't work outside of the home at the moment as the anxiety is always so bad in those situations. I've been living like this all my life now (I'm 32) and don't want to carry on like this forever, but they seem to think that I need the medication along with therapy help.

[jillyb]

I'm on my first time with meds too. Like you I am terrified of taking anything ( 20 years before I took a paracetamol!). Last Thursday I saw the doctor and he told me to go home, take the pills out of the drawer, where they've been sitting for ages, and take them. I realised I couldn't carry on like I was as not only was it affecting my life, but my family too. So, I did it! I was also prescribed diazepam as they can make you even more anxious initially. I am now on day 8 and no side effects to report although today I have some weird red marks on one arm, but to be honest I think I have burnt myself on my hot water bottle. Needless to say I can't stop looking at them! I suffer from GAD and HA too and have tried hard to avoid meds. Now I am trying to think that in a few weeks time I will feel much better. My HA is of the avoidance type. I hope you can find the courage to start them and I'm sure you'll be fine. X

[afgzee]

im going to be completely honest with you, firstly I am going to say Citalopram has saved me but the road to recovery has been very bumpy and terrifying at times.

First side effects I got for the first 2 or 3 days was a body high feeling and for the first week was feeling sleepy and worn out, also after the first couple of days my anxiety went through the roof, this was on my starting dose of 10mg 3 months ago.

After 8.5 weeks on 10mg I began to feel better, I increased to 20mg and again I didn't get any other side effects except my anxiety went through the roof again, 1 month and 10 days on 20mg and im again starting to feel "myself" again with a few "blips" in between where I get a mild panic attack or shakiness or twitching adrenaline rush.

For these times where I cannot naturally control myself I take a small dose of a benzo.

The main thing is to stop researching for negative things as they put negative thoughts into your head which alone will increase your anxiety and put you into panic mode.

Stop researching, that's the first thing, but like others are doing here keep some sort of a diary with your progress and post about your negative and positive days, tell us a bit about your anxiety triggers and keep positive thoughts into your mind and most of all keep healthy.

So your anxiety may likely increase when you start citalopram as your brain and body adjusts to it, its normal, but after 3 months on a very terrifying and bumpy road its VERY MUCH WORTH IT in the end and you'll be looking back proud of yourself at how much progress you've made.

Don't be scared, begin your first dose of citalopram and don't stop even if symptoms increase, its all normal.

[Gemlou78]

I agree you need to stop researching. Easier said than done I know. I've had many frenzied googling sessions. It just makes your anxiety levels rocket.
I'm going to be taking my 3rd citalopram tonight. I am having side affects but I want my life back so I'll put up with them. I hope you find the courage to take them. Xx

[Shelly06]

I'm on my first time with meds too. Like you I am terrified of taking anything ( 20 years before I took a paracetamol!). Last Thursday I saw the doctor and he told me to go home, take the pills out of the drawer, where they've been sitting for ages, and take them. I realised I couldn't carry on like I was as not only was it affecting my life, but my family too. So, I did it! I was also prescribed diazepam as they can make you even more anxious initially. I am now on day 8 and no side effects to report although today I have some weird red marks on one arm, but to be honest I think I have burnt myself on my hot water bottle. Needless to say I can't stop looking at them! I suffer from GAD and HA too and have tried hard to avoid meds. Now I am trying to think that in a few weeks time I will feel much better. My HA is of the avoidance type. I hope you can find the courage to start them and I'm sure you'll be fine. X

Thank you for the reply. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who was scared to start taking medication and that it isn't all bad. I haven't taken any yet but am sure my partner will try and get me to take one tomorrow.
My HA is the avoidance type as well. Hope that your arm and red marks go soon and you keep on getting better and better.

im going to be completely honest with you, firstly I am going to say Citalopram has saved me but the road to recovery has been very bumpy and terrifying at times.

First side effects I got for the first 2 or 3 days was a body high feeling and for the first week was feeling sleepy and worn out, also after the first couple of days my anxiety went through the roof, this was on my starting dose of 10mg 3 months ago.

After 8.5 weeks on 10mg I began to feel better, I increased to 20mg and again I didn't get any other side effects except my anxiety went through the roof again, 1 month and 10 days on 20mg and im again starting to feel "myself" again with a few "blips" in between where I get a mild panic attack or shakiness or twitching adrenaline rush.

For these times where I cannot naturally control myself I take a small dose of a benzo.

The main thing is to stop researching for negative things as they put negative thoughts into your head which alone will increase your anxiety and put you into panic mode.

Stop researching, that's the first thing, but like others are doing here keep some sort of a diary with your progress and post about your negative and positive days, tell us a bit about your anxiety triggers and keep positive thoughts into your mind and most of all keep healthy.

So your anxiety may likely increase when you start citalopram as your brain and body adjusts to it, its normal, but after 3 months on a very terrifying and bumpy road its VERY MUCH WORTH IT in the end and you'll be looking back proud of yourself at how much progress you've made.

Don't be scared, begin your first dose of citalopram and don't stop even if symptoms increase, its all normal.

Thank you for replying. I know that I need to stop researching and I haven't done since getting these new ones or I will never take them, I've only read a few posts in this section. Keeping a diary if I take them is a good idea though thanks.

I am just scared of how anxious I'll be if I take them and all the side effects I could get. At the moment my anxiety is not unbareble all the time, worse if I have to go out or do something involving other people. I just don't want to have a panic attack if I do take one or anything. Glad that it's working good for you and you're getting better.

I agree you need to stop researching. Easier said than done I know. I've had many frenzied googling sessions. It just makes your anxiety levels rocket.
I'm going to be taking my 3rd citalopram tonight. I am having side affects but I want my life back so I'll put up with them. I hope you find the courage to take them. Xx

It is easier said than done, when I told the mental health nurse everything I'd learned about Sertraline I knew I'd over done it and she knew I'd never take them now which is why she swapped me onto these, plus the fact my main problem is anxiety. I haven't googled anything though as I know if I do then I'll never take them.

I'm just a huge wimp when it comes to taking any medication. I hope that it all keeps on going well for you and the side effects don't last too long and you get your life back.
______________________________________________

I've been trying to convince myself that I don't need to be taking medication, it's like how do you make that choice that you do need to take them? And that you can't do it by therapy alone? How do they make you feel? Do they reduce your worry, block it out? Make you feel relaxed, happy?

I know with the amount I worry though that I probably do need to take them, it's just it scares me so much and I know as soon as I swallow one I'll be waiting for any little twinge and worrying that something bad is going to happen and I'm going to get worse. I have another doctors appointment in 13 days and am dreading going back and telling her that I still haven't taken them.

I also would hate them to effect my sleep as I love that. And I really don't want to put on any weight, I already need to lose some so don't need anymore of that.

If I do take one tomorrow what is the best time to take one? I know some people say they make them tired others say it makes them not sleep. Do you take with or without food?

The other thing with me is that I don't have any life to get back to, I've always been like I am right now for as much of my 32 years as I remember, scared of everything, a lot of Social Anxiety, avoidance of everything, worrying all the time, feeling down, irritable etc. I've been this way since I can remember, so if I take them and get therapy what will I be like then if I have nothing to get 'back to'?

I think that my partner is probably going to try and get me to take one tomorrow, I just don't know, everyone is telling me to take them, it's just so scary, maybe I'm being a wimp but I can't help it. I know I over think things way too much but I also can't help this, I do it with every bit of my life.

I want to stop worrying about everything. To be able to go out without feeling my heart beating out of my chest, getting stomach ache and feeling shaky and sick. I want to be able to get a job outside and be comfortable around people. I want to be able to take my dog for a walk without having a panic attack about him getting attacked as soon I leave the house with him.

[SarahH]

From what you describe about yourself I would say you may benefit from meds. Apart from sertraline what is the other medication you have been given for anxiety?

---------- Post added at 11:01 ---------- Previous post was at 11:01 ----------

..remember some people get NO side effects at all!!!!

[Gemlou78]

I feel for you, I think I knew months ago that I needed to go on meds but I was so scared to knowing I would have side effects and discontinuation symptoms when I eventually come off them. I'm going to ask for cbt when I go back to the doctors...have you had this? Maybe it would help you too. I hope you find a way to come through this xx

[CertifiableMe]

My advice?...get started on them!

I have been on meds for a very long time now and they have saved me. As has already been mentioned, the road is bumpy with good days, bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. But, i can honestly say that without i would not be here.

It is always scary because of the things you hear and read about anti-depressants, but that world has changed now. The modern SSRI's are not addictive like the one's of old and they really do work. It took me three different types to find the one that worked for me and although i am not 100% convinced they are perfect, they do help.

Trust your Doctor, start taking them and give it at least a month before worrying. It will be the best thing you ever did.

Good luck.

[Shelly06]

From what you describe about yourself I would say you may benefit from meds. Apart from sertraline what is the other medication you have been given for anxiety?

---------- Post added at 11:01 ---------- Previous post was at 11:01 ----------

..remember some people get NO side effects at all!!!!

I've never been given or taken any medication for my anxiety before. Have never really been to the doctor solely for the anxiety, but I think when I walked in with a list of symptoms that covered two sides of an A4 piece of paper this month she knew the anxiety was a problem.

I'm not too good with taking any kind of medication anyway. And I know you're right that some people don't have any side effects, it's just in my mind I expect to get all the worse ones. If I'm going to take one it's going to be tomorrow when my partners home all day to distract me from sitting here waiting for something bad to happen once I've taken one. It would be really nice to not always have constant worry surging through me.

Thanks for replying

I feel for you, I think I knew months ago that I needed to go on meds but I was so scared to knowing I would have side effects and discontinuation symptoms when I eventually come off them. I'm going to ask for cbt when I go back to the doctors...have you had this? Maybe it would help you too. I hope you find a way to come through this xx

In my mind I think anyone that starts taking medication is brave as I find it so terrifying. I know I'm probably being a total baby about it but I always avoid everything in life and taking medication is no exception. But, I don't want to be like this forever, 32 years is enough to waste my life in fear so I'll try and take one tomorrow. What time do you take yours? Do they make you sleepy or more awake? I'm not sure what time would be best if I do.

I'm booked in to see another mental health nurse to start CBT next month, never done that before so it's scary but I've heard a lot of good about it, hope that you do go back and request a referral as well for it.

[Gemlou78]

I take mine at night, the first night I did it at 8pm but found it made me feel sick and sleepy so since then I take it right before getting in bed which I find better for me. That's great you are getting cbt I'd be interested to hear how you find it. I'm defo going to ask for ot, just hope I don't have to wait too long. Xx