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Thread: Hiya

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    913

    Hiya

    Hiya All

    this is the second message I have written to introduce myself as deleted last one as was a load of rubbish.. Please excuse spelling etc and lack of capitals as I am trying to do this at work as have no PC at home!!! I have been suffering panic attacks for a few years but it didn't really affect my life(believe it or not!!) I would have the attack clam down and it would be over in about 15 minutes.

    For the last year however it is alot worse and happening on a daily basis . I am scared of everything. My throat felt tight for days and I felt like I was being stangled. I went to the doctors who gave me anti biotics and beta blocker (think the anti biotics were just in case I had an infection (which I didn't)) Anyway my throat would be tight and I would have an attack I couldn't breathe and got balckndots in front of my eyes. Things then went from bad to worse. I started thinking about allergies (must have been subconcious at first) I will no longer touch peanuts or anything that has traces of peanuts (i check backs of packets etc) I cannot touch prescribed drughs in case I have a reaction (seem to get itchy with anti biotics and convince myself I am allergic and stop taking them!! I don't know if i really am allergic or it is my imagination!!

    I am scared of smells of insects of everything. I am scared of eating things i have had eaten for years. I have started to feel as if I am 'not in my body' kind of floaty (if that makes sense) I won't go near anyone who has eaten anything I am afraid of (which can be anything at any time)

    I seem to look for things that can hurt me. I know rationally they cant but it does not stop the panic and I will not touch them. This list is not exhaustive but feel like I am going mad. I need constant reassurance from people I am not crazy and If I put somethibng in a weird place (e.g I found a dishtowel under the sink and i freaked out I kept on saying to my boyfriend did u put that there. I thought if i had put it there then I was truly going crazy (looking at it rationally if u are doing more than one thing at at time things tend to get mixed up)

    Anyway I am getting cognitive therapy but it is early days

    Doctor tried to give me anto depressant but I can't take paracetomal (which i have taken on many occasions so there is no way i can touch something like AD's

    Sorry if i have waffled on but I was so glad I have found this forum as I thought (and still think) i am having some sort of breakdown

    The strange thing is anyone I have told (no 'normal' person understands) all say they thought I was the most laid back person as I don't seem to get stressed)

    Just so you know I am not actually allergic to anything (apart from cats)

    (Nicola does this cost anything as I am using works computer???!!)

    I will try and post as often as poss
    I'm not even giong to read this back I will just post it!!!

    Lucky

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    8,314
    Hi Lucky,

    The tight throat is just about the most common anxiety reaction there is. It's a specific muscle in the throat that contracts when we're nervous. It cannot tighten too much and strangle you, it just isn't possible with the way it's constructed. Floaters in front of your eyes are often reported with anxiety too.

    I wonder whether you've seen people in movies be allergic and clutch at their throats dramatically and are subconciously making that association....

    You are not going mad. This is such a familiar trait in one guise or another and you will get over it.

    Your CBT person should be able to work this one through with you . It's all about changing your thought pattern and forcing yourself to prove that first one food and then another are fine and rebuilding your confidence.
    If necessary go and sit in an A+E waiting room to eat something you're scared of. You'll be in the right place in the very unlikely event of needing some assistance and food allergies are such an easy thing to treat medically . Real peanut/bee etc allergy people carry their own all in one injection to treat themselves anytime /any place.


    I don't think you're having a breakdown, I think your internal risk management system has promoted itself within yourself to being more important than it should be and you're allowing it to sit in the MD's office by listening to it.

    Let us know how you do...




    Meg

    Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
    Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    46,967
    Hi Lucky,

    You are in a bit of a mess aren't you? I think you have worked yourself up into such a state that everything gets blown out of proportion.

    I have done this too and my latest 'phobia' is the dark! I have never really bothered about driving in the dark but on Saturday it freaked me out. Now I know this is completely irrational and there is no reason for it but because I have started suffering again I am inventing things to fear!

    I too get the throat tightening and it is good to hear from Radar that it can never close up completely cos it does feel like it sometimes.

    As for the peanut thing well believe it or not I have started doing that too. Every time I eat peanuts I imagine that I have developed an allergy to them and I am going to get an allergic reaction. I have no idea where this fear came from but I have not let it beat me yet and I am still eating peanuts! Weird eh?

    I read things on this site and think "oh god" that is me and I wonder whether there are a pre-determined set of things that all panickers suffer from cos so many are familiar thoughts/symptoms to me. Perhaps Radar can comment on that one.

    Everything on the website is free :-) All you pay for is the Internet access, phone calls etc.

    If you are doing this from work then make sure they are not monitoring your internet access or you may get in trouble.

    We are monitored at work so I have to be careful how long I spend replying during the day!

    I hope in time that you can feel better and find some valuable advice and support from this forum.

    Good luck

    Nicola

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    913
    Thanks nicola and radar,

    I have my next appointment with therapist on friday.
    hopefully he will be able to help me a wee bit more
    Strange about the food thing though I thought it was just me with the peanut thing. Ithink my mind chose peanuts because I know they are really bad to be allergic to (throat closing etc). for some reason my mind seems to look for the worst things to be allergic to and goes for that(weird) but i suppose that is how anxiety works. On saying that i can get a fear of anything at any time!!!!!

    I wonder if others are bad about certain types of foods (like nicola and myself) probably are!!

    Thanks for your posts though it is nice to know people understand

    Lucky

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