finding it difficult to follow my cbt

[strawberrie]

hi, i have been having my cbt for health anxiety a few weeks now, and it has been good, and lots of it makes sense, but i am really struggling with my 'homework' now. The last couple of weeks, my tasks have been to not check my body for symptoms at all, and although it sounds ok when he suggests this to me during my session, i am just finding it so hard to do.

I have days when i feel positive and i feel able not to check, but when i am feeling a bit low (as i am at the moment) i am just finding it impossible - i feel like it is an overwhelming need and i keep telling myself that i won't do it again, but i feel like i am getting caught off guard.

I went back to him last week and told him that i was struggling and we have thought of things to distract me, but i've been really bad this week at checking and now ive got to go back to him tomorrow and i havent made any progress at all [:I]:(. In fact, i feel like lying and saying that ive not checked just so he feels like we're making progress.

Ugh, this is so frustrating, can anyone help? (or just sympathise, i just wanted to have a moan, that's all [^])

mag

[lass]

Hi,

Don't think I can help (wish I could!) but I can sympathise. I have phases where I can get on with life as normal and not worry too much about "checking" myself, but then phases when it's an obsession. I'm like this about body functions too (without going into too much detail) and at the moment I have my head down the loo analysing whatever's down there. I know I shouldn't do this but sometimes I just can't help myself.

But do be honest with your therapist as this isn't a test on you to see how well you can do. Maybe he can come up with some more ideas on what you can do.

You are doing really well in being so honest with your therapist - I haven't even told mine about the checking yet, as it sounds so bizzare!

[Piglet]

I would tell him the truth hun.

In someways you are gonna be a little bit extra anxious while you are learning these new techniques, cos this is like me dealing with my agoraphobia - some days I am up for it and on others I'm not. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Cut yourself a bit of slack and realise this progress is not going to be without its ups and downs. More a work in progress!

Love Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[angie3077]

Hey, you go ahead and moan if it helps!

I don't think you should lie about how you have been doing, the only progress you will make is when you are honest about whats going on. Everybody has bad days, you are only human. I attended group therapy(cbt) for nearlly 2 years! Thats a long time and I never thought I would get any better. Just believe in yourself hun and you will get there.
The more you think to yourself I must not do it, the more you will want to anyway, I still do this too, but don't punish yourself. Have you thought about setting your self a certain time during the day which is your 'checking time', just 15 mins at a certain time every day, you can do your little checks and then the rest of the day try not too? I think there was something like this suggested to me.....along those lines anyway.

Angie x

[honeybee3939]

Hi strawberrie,

I have to agree with piglet, tell him the truth, i know when i had CBT there where weeks when i also felt i hadnt made any progress, but with what you say Strawberrie you have made progress, you have had days when you are not checking ! So thats great !
I finished my CBT a year ago, and even now i do home work, still have weeks with no progress, just keep telling yourself hun, just one little step is a step forward, also like Piglet says Rome wasnt built in a day.

Good luck Hun and be positive !

Love

Andrea
xxxx

"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[strawberrie]

thanks for the replies. it is really nice to get a bit of reassurance from people who understand. i guess i will tell him the truth, but i do feel cross with myself for being a bit pathetic. He's going to think i'm a lost cause [:I].

ckirby, that made me laugh what you said about checking down the toilet. it does make me want to squirm a bit talking about this stuff with someone. My biggest worry is breast cancer, but i think my therapist finds it a bit difficult to find the right words to discuss it. He says "how are getting on with not checking your um... (makes slight booby gesture with his hands), your um.... [:I] your... um...self?" tee hee!!! he will probably need therapy himself after dealing with me lol! i havent plucked up the courage to talk to him about anything more personal, poor guy might have a heart attack![^]

mag

[Piglet]

Mag - that made me laugh hun

Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[angie3077]

Hi again Mag....at least you still have a great sense of homour...that post made me giggle! And I definatley do not think he will think you are a lost cause!

Do you have a family member that has breast cancer then, as you say this is your biggest worry? Just curious...I know that might not be the case though.

Angie x

[strawberrie]

hi angie, thanks for your reply. Yes, my mum died of breast cancer which is why it is such an obsession for me. Although, i do worry loads about other cancers too - in fact i worry about everything![:I]

i think your idea of having a checking time each day is quite good, but my homework a couple of weeks ago was to check just once a day, and cos i managed that ok i think he wants me to move on and progress to not checking at all.

trouble is, theres so many things in my life i know i should do, and would make me feel better, but its just so difficult to put these things into practice [8)][Sigh...].

mag

[Mranxious]

It is hard to resist the checking, I know. A stratagy could be as mentioned, check at a set time of day, or if you were to dread that time, then just defer your checking, say to yourself you will check - if you really need to - in 2 hours time. You might find that your initial anxiety has dropped a bit, so when the 2 hours arrives you can defer it again etc.

BTW my mum did have breast cancer 9 years ago, and although that doesn't bring your mum back, it does show that it can be beaten. It might also by why I too fear cancer so much. Don't fear the worse, when you're in your 90s, you don't want to look back at now and think of how you filled your time!

The dalai lama was talking about what brought happiness, long term happiness. He said about the quick fixes of drink, drugs and symptom checking (I added that bit myself!) and asked the student if they bought happiness. In the short term, yes. But in the long term - No, all can become addictive and all are destructive.
Of course there are the simple monthly check that need to be carried out, but after that - leave things alone. BTW, this is coming from a serial checker, so I can give advice but I find it just as hard as you taking it!!