Can't find a therapist :-(

[Freaked]

Every time I look for help with my HA and panic it just goes badly. Firstly I had an awful experience with a psychiatrist, and a less awful but still unpleasant experience with a group he sent me to. Then I tried again with a counseling psychologist, but I was very sick the day I went to see her (I have a condition called POTS which is also my anxiety trigger) and she just thought it was way out of her league and I needed to be in a hospital (and in fairness I did end up in hospital for like a week after that). I've tried to make other appointments a few times and they're always full or retiring or whatever. Tried again today, but the office was up two flights of stairs and i just couldn't handle the second one (my condition makes stairs very hard and also a major source of anxiety).

My situation is complicated even more in that my field is actually psychology and I never anticipated I'd want to see one, and finding one who isn't connected to the universities is actually difficult. I was prescribed benzos for a few months before the docs figured what was causing my symptoms, and obviously they were great for the anxiety, but withdrawal was awful and they didn't really solve anything.

So...here I am. A year in, relying overly on those around me for support because I have no one professional to talk about these issues with, agoraphobic, afraid to be alone, suffering from almost hourly flashbacks and panic, and trying to push myself to do my physio through it all. I really hoped today would be the day I'd find someone who was at least paid to listen to me vent :-(

[anthrokid]

Ugh sounds like you've had a tough time finding some solid support. But please don't let bad experiences stop you from getting the support you want and need. I would recommend a clinical psychologist perhaps as opposed to a counselling psychologist. Counselling psychologists aren't trained as much in diagnosis and management of psychological illness and some do find it difficult when faced with someone suffering with severe anxiety and panic attacks. But, of course, I understand how difficult it can be to get in to see one! Keep trying, you need the support right now and it would be so much more reassuring for you to have a professional to talk to. At this stage I would consider checking in with some that are connected to universities. I understand that it can be daunting approaching someone close to home/work, but remember, psychology is a very protected profession that is very strict with patient confidentiality. Only the person you see needs to be aware of your condition, not everyone else!