How do I get people to stop telling me horror stories????

[Madsmom]

Now recognizing that I have a health anxiety. How do I get people to stop telling me horror stories about health? You know those stories I am talking about! "Did you know so and so's husband thought he had bronchitis, turned out to be stage 4 lung cancer and he died 3 weeks later! Bless his heart, he was only 50 years old..."! These are the type of things that will trigger my anxiety. Because guess what I am going to think about next time I get bronchitis or better yet a simple cough???!!! lol

I mean obviously I can't walk around with a sign that says "I have health anxiety, don't tell me stories". But I think for my own good I need to avoid hearing things like this or learn how to deal with it. Any suggestions?

[kurtis1990]

Ah avoiding triggers is a hard one. Mine is anything heart related. As soon as I hear the word heart attack on tv I have to switch over. Maybe try subtlety changing the subject of conversation when you feel like its heading for a trigger

[HoneyLove]

I know what you mean! I usually just ask people to not tell me, when I realise it's a horrible health story, simple as that, and it usually works.

But I would say that the more important thing for you to focus on is your reaction to these stories. It will be impossible to block out every tale of bad health, so it would be good to learn about your reaction to them and learn to change it.

[RoseEve]

Glad that perks for you honey love most people continue with their story. People think it's funny :(

[Althea]

The problem is that you can't police other people; you can only police yourself.

You can always excuse yourself and leave if a story takes a health turn; even if the story would have been about somebody's recent recovery from bronchitis, you're really not missing anything. If it's at work where you can't walk away, that's what headphones are for.

I do think that with close friends and family this can be part of a conversation about HA, a conversation that happens at a quiet time not when it's occasioned by an upsetting incident. What you explain is that stories that aren't distressing to them can be very upsetting to you, and that you will probably excuse yourself if the conversation heads that way. (While you can't expect them to stop entirely, if people who are supposed to be your closest allies are deliberately trying to upset you with stories, you may need to reconsider having them in your closest circle.)

But I also think that HoneyLove is, as usual, right; long term, avoidance isn't for your own good, and the real goal is to be able to cope.

[hheavenlyangel]

I think the best way to get through is to know that people are and will talk about horror stories and as painfully frightening as it is, the more you expose yourself to those conversations the quicker your anxiety will subside. I used to be the same but what you're eventually going to do is avoid conversation all together and you don't want to isolate yourself. I suppose, you need to remember its a story about someone else. You don't know all of their history, their family genetics, not every single thing about them. I would suggest in starting by reading a story, a little at a time every single day until you can read the entire story. I know how you feel, I too have been where you are but exposing myself to those frightening conversations has made it so much easier for me to deal with now. I still can get a little anxious at times but no where near where I would just want to run away as quickly as I could.

[jillyb]

I know what you mean! I have stomach problems at the moment ( which my GP is sure is anxiety related). So what does my friend do ( one who knows I have severe HA, avoidance type) immediately starts telling me about someone with stomach c. Now I'm obsessed! Now, when anyone starts talking about health related things I actually tell them, I'm sorry, but i don't want to hear. At the moment I really can't handle it and it's my way of dealing with it. Just started citalopram so I hope it will help. I know you're supposed to confront your fears and learn to rationalise but it's not always possible (rarely in my case!). My private therapist tells me they are only horror movies in my mind and it's all part of my unhealthy thinking. I wish you luck with this problem as I know how difficult it is. X

[HoneyLove]

The problem is that you can't police other people; you can only police yourself.

I like this way of putting it Althea! It's the essence of solving this kind of problem, accepting that we cannot control the world but only ourselves in it

[WhyWhyWhy]

I have to tell people in a jovial polite way 'omg you're gonna have to stop or I'll be thinking about that for weeks haha' if that makes any sense.

I've had to stop watching certain things on tv, it's all sensationalised to make it appealing to watch which usually means things way over the top like the thing you described in your original post, it plays on my mind and even though I know it's not real, I still find myself believing it, or taking it as a 'sign' that it's gonna be happening to me xx

[Serenity1990]

Honestly I think good can come of these stories in an odd sort of way. In your story, the poor sod diagnosed himself and was wrong, which is exactly what we seem to be doing. Always get checked out, and always trust the doctors when they say you're fine!