One month off fluox feeling terrible

[littlemissjo]

Hi all,

I haven't been on this forum for a while, I originally came here when I started taking fluox in October 2012 to help deal with the side effects, knowing I wasn't the only one going through it was a great help then. It took about five weeks for the side effects to subside, and all of 2013 was a good year. I felt alive, confident and like I'd won the battle with my self esteem, guilt and generally started loving me.

So confident was I that the CBT I'd had in 2012 had worked that just before Xmas 2013 I decided that I'd go to the doctors and ask about coming off. I was missing every other day as it was and she said that I should just taper the regularity down over a couple of weeks. I didn't over Christmas but by mid to late Jan 2014 I did and stopped taking. The next couple of weeks were fine apart from a few dizzy spells and irritability all totally endurable.

Then last Sunday I felt the onset of a panic attack, some old thoughts got brought up and I calmed myself down. I woke on Monday feeling anxious still and for the rest of the week it wasn't even a spiral I just figuratively hit the floor. Uncontrollable emotional weeping, sobbing for no reason apart from an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Anxiety, feelings of panic, I feel spaced out and can't concentrate. Last night I felt 'up' and now today I'm in bed scared crying and thinking negative thoughts and panicking about them.

After reading up I think I'm suffering from low serotonin. Has anyone else had a similar crash? I work for myself now so I really need a solution because I'm lying in bed when I should be working... I think the solution is going to be to go back on F but I'm scared of the side effects and how they will effect me again, I'm scared of being on these forever I want children in the next couple of years too. I feel really alone in the house by myself and alone because no one around me understands what I'm feeling.

I haven't got a doctors appt until Thursday morning so I'm trying to hang on until then. This is so so hard

[linda84]

Same as me. I started stoped 3 times since august 2011. Last time i started in october 2012 and coming off from them 1 year later. 2013 for me was my best year since 2006 everything was OK. But in 22 January 2014 same symptomes are back with terible anxiety and deppresion. I went to my doc and started again Fluxotine/prozac now i am on 30 day 20mg. And starting to feel better. But this drug need 8-10 weeks to work 100%. Dont worry you are not alone. Good days will come again

[littlemissjo]

Thanks Linda for your support. The worst thing for me is that I feel crippled by this illness this time.

When I was in the midst of what I call my 'episode' in 2012, I had a lot of issues going on that needed addressing. CBT addressed all the negative thoughts in my head, I had answers for all of them. I still have those answers deep down, but this is taking all my resources to rationalise the thoughts in my head. I have none, I feel awful I need to get back on the Flu. I have loads in the cupboard but am loathe to just start taking again without supervision / discussion.

Also back in 2012 I had a full time job, which meant even in my illness and in the throes of SEs I had a reason, well I HAD to, get up and shake them off to a certain extent. I had to go to work. Now I'm at home, it's easily taking over I will just roll over in bed rather than doing the work I need to do. How do people deal with this and work?

[MrsCav]

I'm a stay at home parent and I often wondered in my worst how people coped with the SE and went to work. But, I had a few nights where the anxiety went into overload and I would lie awake shaking ... I got through that by telling myself it was a side effect and it wasn't going to kill me. Maybe that how others cope by telling themselves it's just a side effect and it will go away eventually.

[littlemissjo]

That's how I coped the last time, and having a full time job then meant that I just had to get up and get through it. My bosses weren't the most compassionate.
I had also just had an amazing CBT trough the NHS who had addressed the bad feelings I had about myself and taught me that anxiety and panic can't take over me unless I let it. Well,
I thought I had that nailed until this happened. And I can't even blame side effects as Ive come off the Fluox. Or maybe I can but there just isn't enough evidence to support it. I can't wait to get back to my 'normal' self on the meds. It makes me start crying with sadness just to say that...

---------- Post added at 07:41 ---------- Previous post was at 07:38 ----------

But part of me is saying it will be much easier to say yep it's just side effects I just have to endure while it's working than to live feeling like a broken woman :(

---------- Post added at 10:33 ---------- Previous post was at 07:41 ----------

Just got off the phone with the doctor, Day 1 of Fluoxetine it is then.

Just taken my first tablet, feeling hopeful.

[littlemissjo]

Day three, after my second nights sleep 11-6am sharp woke up with that panic feeling again. Lie there resaying over in my head it's only side effects. It hasn't gone away yet two hours later, reluctant to take the third pill as I can't swallow my breakfast but I suppose I have to...

[MrsCav]

Littlemiss, that's the best thing you can do is just keep telling yourself it's a side effect, it isn't going to kill you but it is a great big fat pain in the bum. But you will and are going to get through today!

If you are struggling to eat, please try something light, like a banana. It's better to have a bit of something than nothing. I'm wondering if your SE will be bad, as you could still have some (fluox) left in your system, so you just need to top it up if that makes sense. I could be wrong but I am sure I read a thread on here about a girl who took fluoxetine whilst she was pregnant, or it was someones daughter who had taken it quite safely.

Get up, get something to eat and you win the day littlemiss! I have every faith in you.

[littlemissjo]

Your message inspired me to get up out of bed this morning! I felt passable doing work this morning, and I had wondered the same thing as you - surely they can't be that bad because I only finished a course in Jan - it's coming and going, on waking up horrendous, then was ok for a couple of hours, then its hit me again since eleven onwards. I feel like crying, but can't even do that now!

The feeling like you're constantly on the verge of a panic attack is horrendous enough, but I hate the constant battle with my thoughts, the feeling that I'm just not good enough and can't cope. Last night was a good evening though, I hope every evening is better like that. Did you find it better of an evening? Maybe it was because I was occupied with people

[MrsCav]

Yes, I definitely found evening where better. I would take myself off for a bath and read a book. Then I would get into bed and maybe watch some tv. But I was definitely better in the evening. Then I would wake up and I could tell how I was by how bad the shakes where, I had real bad tremors. I couldn't control the shaking at all. It was adrenalin that was causing it, it had just gone into overload. I was prescribed propranolol and it stopped the adrenalin.

I'm glad you got up, even if you get out of bed and just sit in a chair for a couple of hours watching This Morning, it's better than being hidden away in your bed.

But you are good enough and you can cope, you know how much better it's going to be. You know the good days are ahead. All you've got to do is ride this storm out, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Well done for working this morning, that is massive! You are doing incredibly well even if you don't feel it, I can see how well you are doing.

[littlemissjo]

You must have battled through! So brave. It definitely helps to get out of bed, it a bettle of will though. I hate the shakes, I tend to get shaky hands more than anything. Bubble bath sounds good