Please help me

[Nova84]

Before the sertraline I tried really hard to focus on the positives, downloaded apps on my phone, meditation and hypnosis and cbt and gratitude apps. I tried to keep myself going. But I've just lost the motivation to do or think anything mrandy. I feel like I have given up.

Before this happened I was a really strong, confident, determined person. I am a lone parent to my kids and worked full time too, cooked fresh food from bbc good food website, kept the house clean and tidy, took pride in my appearance. Now, I am nothing. So consumed by fear and anxiety, I can't face the day when I wake.

It's so hard to focus on the positives MrAndy, when noone can guarantee they will work and that little voice in the back of my mind says, this is permanent.

I want to stop being a burden on my family. I haven't been able to spend a single night on my own since it happened. My mum and my ex husband are basically having to babysit me. Their lives have changed because of me. My children bev been uprooted due to moving to and fro town thanks to my abusive ex. I think if I go into hospital, at least no one has to change their lives for me.

[MrAndy]

going into hospital isnt the answer thats where I ended up and I couldnt wait to get out !
I have been where you are and I know its hard but there is always hope,I recovered so can you,take some deep breaths and be strong.Try going for a long walk ,i did this every day I was in hospital and it cleared my mind

[Nova84]

I'm scared. The most disturbing symptom of anxiety is feeling as though things aren't real, feeling detached. I can go for walks but I have to look at the ground. I sound so crazy don't i :( I've lost so much weight too. I was only 8 and a half stone in the first place but I feel so weak and shaky. I am eating so I don't understand why the weight loss.

I just want to get better for my kids and be the mum that makes sure they are okay, teases them and sings and dances, plays computer games with them and just loves them. I don't even feel love anymore.

[ilda8786]

Hi I have no idea why but can't send messages to anyone:(
How are you feeling now?

---------- Post added at 18:50 ---------- Previous post was at 18:44 ----------

Nova I remember been a size 10 now I'm a size 4. That's part of depression anxiety.
U don't sound crazy cause I've been there:(

[Nova84]

Hi ilda, thanks for your messages earlier. I went to my appointment. We discussed admitting me to hospital but my crisis team don't believe they would admit me. They want me to keep taking the sertraline. I asked what was wrong with me, my key worker said anxiety and depression. She said I need to learn to accept that is what's wrong and not damage from the spiking etc. she said I need to believe I will get better, she does.

I still feel very spaced out and panicky on and off but holding it together. Is muscle twitching common with sertraline?

[MrAndy]

Muscle twitching is common with anxiety,I had it terrible at one time?it will go with time

[Nova84]

Thanks MrAndy. I need a shocking amount of reassurance, I seem to have lost all faith in myself.

I actually had an okay evening. I seem to settle down around 7pmish. I went to my brothers for his birthday and fixed his computer. I also managed to have a meal out and there has been no lorazepam today, though today has been really hard. I've just taken my tablet, an hour late unfortunately and am going to try sleep. I look forward to sleeping so much, but dread the morning.

[ilda8786]

Honey trust me you will be ok. It's all anxiety and depression I've been there.
You need to belive us take the tablets first wks it might not be great but you can get through this.
We are all here for you.

[Nova84]

I can't do this ilda. Woke up this morning and immediately feeling the pounding heart and prickling sensation all over my body. I never had this panic before the sertraline. I am back to feeling suicidal. I'm scared the tablets are making me worse.

[MrAndy]

I can't do this ilda. Woke up this morning and immediately feeling the pounding heart and prickling sensation all over my body. I never had this panic before the sertraline. I am back to feeling suicidal. I'm scared the tablets are making me worse.

they take a while to settle down but its worth the wait,try and get out the house today and try and keep busy