Lower tummy pain

[Lea2109]

Where do I start?

I haven't posted on here for a long time as I was doing really well, but it's back!

Last January my mum passed away after a long battle with cancer and since then I haven't been doing so well. About 6 months after I started with lower tummy pains, aches and back pain and convinced myself I was dying with cancer too! I had urine tests done and 2 came back with traces of blood, this made me go into extreme panic and the pains went into overdrive!

My Dr was not concerned about this and did a 3rd test which came back clear, he then referred me to counselling and prescribed Anti depressants, weeks later my pains went away! Miracle!

Months later I went in holiday and decided to ween myself off the meds whilst away, this was October and I've been doing great since, until now!

I got a bad urine infection over Xmas and was urinating blood it took 2 lots of strong antibiotics to clear it up but eventually it did. I then had a smear test (which by the way I'm petrified of, as in always convinced I will have CC) my results came back inconclusive as it had not been taken properly and I now have to wait 3 months to have it taken again :(

Since then I've been having little stabbing pains and sensations in my lower tummy a bit different to last time and I can't tell wether they are bladder or cervical related but all I know is once again I'm convinced it's very sinister! Also the last 2 days I've had an awful spasm like pain come in my right ovary area it takes my breath away when it happens. The thing is I can't tell if this is me causing it after focusing on that area after the water infection and smear?! I can't go down this route again and waste my life worrying and on meds, I'm so scared.

It may be worth mentioning back when I was put on meds I had all my bloods done and was given a clean bill of health but how accurate are they? I'm also desperate to start a family and this is proving difficult possibly because I'm so stressed all the time?? I recently had bloods done for fertility too and they came back normal. I don't know what tondo next or where to turn? Xx

[Jonesle]

I'm so sorry honey. I have smears every 6months because of one reason or another, if they thought it was CC they would have whipped you in. The brain does crazy things, I'm currently stressing over a tiny spot which I think hurts but it probably doesn't. Seems like it's taking too long to heal but it's probably not and because I'm so conscious of it I'm sort of aware I keep touching it. Your mind is a very powerful tool and along with all your stress and worry it's no wonder you're in pain. Obviously go for regular check ups with your gp. If there's something wron.g they will figure it out, it's their job! If you're too worried get in for an emergency appt and explain again. Hope that helps xx

[Lea2109]

Thank you for responding Josie, I need to try and get a grip on this because I truly can't go back to what I was. My counselling stopped suddenly too as my counsellor broke his hip poor thing so think I didn't get any closure there either. I feel like I have bladder discomfort and like I'm constantly at the loo but I know this can be stress related too!

It really is a viscous cycle, I have an appointment booked with my dr in a week hoping I can keep a grip of things until then. I've just turned 30 and I'm wasting my life and no one close seems to understand? But why would they? Xx

[Jonesle]

I'm 24 and scared I'm going to waste my life worrying about maybe might possibly getting certain illnesses. Until I get to about 70 yrs old and get an illness.... See! Told you I was sick!! You will manage, you have to just carry on living and trying to draw a line for the day... "I'm not going to worry today, as soon as I start thinking about my health il focus on something else... Il allow myself to worry at 7pm for half an hour only"
People find it hard to understand anxiety, even people with anxiety don't understand your specific worry but at least we won't ever roll our eyes at you xx

[Lea2109]

You are so right Hun thank you for taking the time to post, it's so hard isn't it. I'm going to make an effort to sort myself out and stop worrying and see if the symptoms subside. My mum would be so disappointed in me, I'm the one alive and look how I'm acting? I should be making her proud x

[Jonesle]

Mum definitely wouldn't want you to be worrying yourself sick over it. Good luck, let us all know how the gp appointment goes xx

[Lea2109]

I will Hun thanks and hope you get better too I'm pretty sure the spot is nothing to worry about. The other week I had a mouth ulcer that took 2 weeks to clear up I was thinking oh no this can't be good!? But it's now gone once I left it alone.

Good luck and thanks again xx

[Mummygems]

I completely sympathise. Sounds just like me over the past 8 years!! This was when my father passed away from cancer. I didn't receive any counselling, had a 2 year old son andxwas pregnant with my second son. Hence i never had time to grieve properly coupled with raging hormones. Couple years later i had an abnormal smear and id convinced myself that was it even though i was told it was just abnormal and not cancer. Had treatment and all smears since have been fine. After talking to friends etc, it extremely common to get an abnormal smear. like you things have really hit me now, i get bladder and bowel problems on and off and twinges and pain in pelvic area. When im distracted i don't feel it so it really must be anxiety related. Just how do you stop this horrible cycle of fearing the worst all the time.

Im sorry i don't have a solution but hope it helps knowing that you are not alone in having these thoughts and symptoms.

Please don't worry about the smear, im sure it will be fine. When i had my treatment i was told even though the cells were abnormal it was very unlikely that they would ever turn cancerous anyway.

X

[Lea2109]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it does give me comfort that I'm not alone in all this, as sometimes it feels like the most lonely place I've ever been.

I'm constantly getting little twinges and pain in the pelvic area, and my bladder is causing me grief. And your right it's such a vicious circle as you don't know whether your focusing and bringing it on or not?

All I know is I need to try my best to get better I can't let myself do this all again and go back to that dark place. I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time too, I completely understand everything your going through, and I hope you find some comfort too knowing others are going through the same.

If you ever need to talk I can listen xx