Hi MyNameIsTerry
Thank you so much for your very sensible and rational post. It really is helpful for me to try to look at it that way, and so much of what you said makes sense. I am going to try very hard now to let it go and to move forward.
I think maybe this guilt is a part of the anxiety in general and that can make me quite irrational and turn everything inwards. Thank you again, I really appreciate the time you and others have spent reading and responding to me. It does help a lot.
Hope all is well with you