Fear of Wetting Myself / Panic attacks

[cb87]

Hey.

I have joined this site because i need some support. For 4 or 5 months now i have been experiencing panic attacks in certain situations with the main symptom being that i will wet myself (as well as increased heart rate an sweating). I feel like the muscles in my penis are relaxing and pulsing and it shrivels up. At this point is am sure my body will release and fluid in my bladder. I am a 27 year old guy. It is very distressing. It happens even on an empty bladder.

The good news is i have challenged it in several places/situations where it had previously happened and now it is completely gone in those areas, as well as other areas where i didn't even challenge it. It just went away in those places too. But it hasn't gone away completely.

I am at my worst in university classroom and especially if i have to stand up and speak in front of the class. I don't think it is directly related to this though because i don't have a fear of public speaking - i have been doing it for several year with great confidence - although my fear of wetting is strongest now at that time due to all my peers watching me. I sometimes have to wear adult incontinence pants (nappies) for mental well-being at these times to get through my public speaking. When i wear these, it doesn't happen at all. No sensations, nothing. It also doesn't happen when i am drunk or really enjoying myself. Or when i am in my room, or any "safe place" like my families house.

There are two places where i think it may have come from. First, i have suffered from general anxiety and have been very low (maybe mild depression) for a few years due to an addiction. During these years i would need to go to the bathroom frequently when feeling anxious. However, now my general anxiety and mild depression have completely gone away since challenging my addiction and made great progress to beat it.

The second place where i feel this panic disorder may have come from is a particular situation i had. I almost wet myself on an underground metro. I had a really full bladder and really almost wet myself. It was nothing to do with anxiety or my mind. I was in a real panic. It was traumatic actually. I had to run to make the toilet. But after that (a few weeks later) i began to feel sensations of panic when in certain locations/situations and the sensation in my private are would start like i described before.

I cannot see a proper doctor since i no longer live in the UK. I live in a developing country and the doctors just give me Valium.

I am trying to fight this with exercise, healthy eating, cutting out alcohol, and practicing Vipassana meditation. And of course trying to observe the sensations when they come instead of reacting to them with fear. This is what i did in several of the locations/situations and the problem literally disappeared, but i don't have the confidence to do this when i am public speaking at uni - the thought of wetting myself in front of people who know me is just way too much - i have to wear incontinence pants for confidence.

I just want to share my problem as i think talking to people will help me. I would like any advice from people too. I am especially interested to hear of you think it is possible for this panic disorder to have come from that one particular incident on the underground sub-way where i experienced serious panic and mental trauma from almost genuinely wetting myself or if you think it is just a mutation of my general anxiety which plagued me for years, but now completely gone.

Thank you for reading.

[JITTERBUG1]

I don't have any advice, but it sounds like you know the cause. The incident on the metro probably did leave a scar. Your subconscious probably replayed it over with a different more embarrassing ending. I think you are doing a great job dealing with your anxiety and I am sure these incidents will become fewer and fewer. Good luck Tiff

[cloudbusting]

Hi cb87

Well, you sound like you have the right mindset to control this fear 90% of the time and you've done that by placing yourself directly into the situations - not so easy to arrange that if it's public speaking.

As you practice meditation, could you perhaps imagine a complete scenario of yourself delivering a successful presentation in front of your peers to refer back to as if it really happened ? Visualisation ? Something to bring to your mind when you do it for real ?

Or arrange a 'mock' public speaking engagement with, say, just a dozen people there to prove to yourself that what you fear happening won't happen ? It needn't take long - just a couple of minutes. Do you have a trusted friend or tutor that could help arrange this for you ?

Lisa x

[cb87]

Thanks for both replies and support

Hey Tiff... Thanks, i hope these incidents will become fewer and fewer. I have confidence they will. I had one in a taxi today and handled it quite well. The funny thing about this was that i did actually need to go to the bathroom. It wasn't just my imagination, but i was panicking about it. Normally a person would feel the need to go and then forget about it with confidence that nothing will happen, whereas i was quite fearful and uncertain of my abilities to hold it. But for the rest of the day it was fine.

Does anyone know if it is actually possible for a person to wet themselves because of this? or is it just in the mind?

I have read that when a person reaches compete terror their body will give up on certain things (e.g bladder) to protect more important things (e.g heart, brain etc etc) and they can have an accident because of this.

Hey Lisa...thanks for the great advice. I could try to arrange some public speaking scenario to help me and the visualization may also work too. I have noticed it tends to come when i conceive a thought that it may come. For example, in the taxi today there was a moment when i thought, "I wonder if it will happen?"...and then it did.
I will try to arrange some public speaking thing. I actually quite enjoy public speaking. I am just terrified that my newfound problem will arise at that moment leading to ultimate embarrassment in front of about 100 of my peers.

Well, we will see how tomorrow goes.

Thanks again

[maddierose98]

I completely understand where you're coming from as I am a student myself and I have had this weird phobia when I have been in class. I dont exactly remember what triggered mine off, but I think yours triggered from the experience you almost had. I tend to use the toilet a lot to try and mend my phobia so I definitely would advise to make sure you go regularly but I definitely think this is a social phobia branch.

[cb87]

Hey all,

Well, it's completey gone!

Sorry, i haven't updated recently. I successfully was able to cut it out of every part of my life, except the public speaking part (until recently). Now its gone everywhere.

I believe it came from the near accident i had on the mentro. That was exactly a year ago.

It took constant effort. Feeling the sensations rather than reacting to them. And challenging my subconsciencious all the time. You have to remind yourself, it isn't real.

I continued to wear the incontinence pants for public speaking until i had competely defeated the phobia in every other aspect of my life, then i took them off challenged myself in that situation (it wasn't anymore difficant than anywhere else).

I found a hypnosis channel on Youtube called Free Hynosis Sessions. I used a combination of sessions, including one for phobias, one for stress, one for anxiety, one for condidence, one for panic etc etc...there are many. I found a conbination of different ones worked well. At the very least it relaxes you.

My meditation helped to as well.

I tried to avoid over-using the toilet as i found this is just adding fuel to the fire. You must get used to the feeling of being full and not being afriad of it.

I just wanted to come back online to document the fact that it is possible to overcome this phobia. I hope i can help other people with this. I can give advice where needed.

Thanks for all the comments and support i recieved here.

You simply just gotta do it! Though, i found a slowly and steadily approach most comfortable and it only took about 10 months from when i knew i had a mental condition until i got rid of it.