Am I commiting benefit fraud, what should I do?

[katykat1975]

Please help me as I'm so worried about my boyfriend's presence at my house, I'm sure the only thing I can do is split up with him.

I'm scared of going to prison for benefit fraud and there's NO way I'd deal with that being agoraphobic. He is the father to my 2 babies, helps me when I'm having really "dark" weeks with bi-polar and cares for the children. Sometimes he may stay for more than a week and I can't beleive I've never worried about fraud as I claim as a single parent, I was when I met him and I am now but have found out as he's my youngest childrens father if he even stays 1 night at my house I could be in trouble and benefits stopped?

He owns his own house and lives with his 14 yr daughter, she's a 'problem' child, takes drugs is violent and promiscuous which is why she got taken from her mum (who's on at risk register) and put in her dads care. Big problem as I have 2 young girls, 10 & 12. They looked up to her and she's a very bad influence, basically there's NO way we can all live together as a family!!
When her dad comes to stay and help me out she stays with his sister for a week and a bit (the longest she can handle).
I don't know what to do, are we living together or aren't we in the eyes of the law, I can't find another situation like mine. We have talked about her going into care but I couldn't live with myself, nor could he.

Sorry I'm waffling on but this has been a nightmare for weeks to me now.

I had to get this down so may have missed out vital info, please ask questions if it's vague. Any views/opinions welcome

[Annie0904]

You might find this helpful http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-t...ml,177,FP.html

[clarisse]

Splitting up is a bit drastic. Could he not just go home to sleep?
Once his daughter is older she can then get her own place.
It will look to the Social that you are co-habitating and you could lose your Benefits. You wont go to prison for a first offense.
Not a nice situation,unless you can get round it by saying he is your carer ? Sorry I cant help other than that,but good luck hunni.

[katykat1975]

Thankyou Annie for the link and advice. It's true that his daughter will be able to live/stay at his house without supervision when she's 16, maybe then we could be together. I've not viewed us as living together yet, as we don't but reading about benefit fraud in the paper and it being pointed out that the babies dad spending 1 night a week is fraud has made me worried. He doesn't stay that often, see's kids in the day while his daughter's in school then maybe 1 week staying over every 4-6 weeks.
If he goes home and comes back for breakfast during my bad times we should be safe 'til we can be a real family?!

[LucyR]

Having read the link advice given by clarisse you should see it says your partner is not counted as living with you just as long as you can prove he has another house his own address and bills going there which he is paying. So, no you won't be classed as living together, from what I can make of it anyway.

[HalfJack]

You won't go to prison for that! Not even close If you were a 40 year old man called Jim who owned your own plumbing business but pretended to be a young single mum then you'd be at risk of going to prison.

If they thought he lived with you and made a fuss you could appeal it, if he has his own place that he pays mortgage/rent for, with child who he has to look after and be there for legally that is pretty good solid proof he's not living with you!

It is a little fuzzy when it comes to the rules on how often he can technically stay over but rules like that are only really there to catch out people who are actually trying to take advantage of the system, you're not doing that.
The rules on things like that are too rigid to be realistic. They don't take into account how flexible life has to be and that everyone has different needs and is in different situations, but they know that and are, in my experience, relaxed about you bending them if you have any special needs etc. But I wouldn't tell them, you're not doing anything wrong so there is no need to bring it up.

If in doubt, talk to the citizens advice bureau. They are great and very sympathetic.

[DEREKG]

I hate this stuff. When one is already suffering the torment of anxiety and depression, the shame of claiming benefits just makes things worse. Don't worry, Katy (he says, ironically), I don't believe you are breaking any rules, nevermind laws. Concentrate on you and your children's wellbeing. If you view your partner as a helpful contribution to your life, then that's exactly what they are. Don't be told any different and don't jump to worrying conclusions. I hate the benefits system. I hate the people who have lied over the years and made it difficult for the inoccent even moreso...

[KeeKee]

When I first moved away from home with my daughter my partner wouldn't move in with us. He used to sleep a couple of nights a week and at the time I mentioned it to my early years mental health worker and I believe she said he could sleep upto 3 nights a week. This was 6 years ago so I'm not too sure about now.

[xrachykinsx]

My partner got done for benefit fraud for exactly this reason years ago. In the eyes of the law, if you're not together, then he shouldn't be living and contributing to your household, regardless of whether he has another house. If they can prove that he is staying over more than is allowed before your classed 'living together' then they will take action. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I'd be a bit warey and reasses if he actually needs to stay over. It's not really fair to be claiming benefits as a single mum but then be almost 'living together'. I don't mean that horribly, I have no doubt your situation is a difficult one, but you have to see, if everyone did this, the system would be pointless and corrupt. Best of luck. Hope you get it sorted. I think what KeeKee. Said is still true. Partners are allowed to stay upto a certain amount of nights. You should be able to find the information on one of the government pages xx

[AnxietyDJ]

Obviously the whole system is based around stupid rules like this... And, obviously there is no harm being done and you're in no way cheating the system by having your bf stay for a day or two, but at the same time, you get such jobsworths in the benefit offices that I'd just be a little careful none the less. Please don't get me wrong - you're not going to get in trouble or anything like that, but i've learnt from experience (completely different benefits, admittedly) that if you get the wrong person, they will cut your benefits for the most minor of things... My example was that I had a meeting at the Job Centre Plus... My car broke down so I couldnt make it... They cut my benefits even though I could prove that I had to call the AA! (They said I should have left the car where it was and made the rest of the journey by public transport! I mean, seriously, who would do that?!?!?!).

Don't get yourself too stressed about it, you'll be totally fine, but perhaps its best to seek some advice from the benefits people before you go and make yourself ill with worry