I am so glad I found this site.
My name is Steph - I'm 22 and have suffered with anxiety my whole life. It started with seperation anxiety as a very young child, and I now have OCD, GAD and Panic Disorder. I was midiagnosed with ADHD as a child and it took them two years before they figured out that it was actually anxiety.
Lately, my anxiety has been out of control.
About five weeks ago, I had a health scare - I had some symptoms that led me to believe I had colon cancer. I went to the doctor, who did an examination and found nothing. He gave me a take home test to do, but I never did it - I was too afraid. The symptoms were horrible - mostly abdominal pain. I woke up with it daily.
Shortly after that, I started thinking I didn't have colon cancer, but I must have SOMETHING else horrible. I think I went from HIV (I've only ever had sex with one person, and never unprotected), to appendicitis to.. I can't even remember. Just everything.
Lately, I've been obsessed with a brain tumor.
It started with some vertigo and balance problems. I went to the doctor who told me it was probably labrynthitis. I didn't believe him. As time went on, I felt some facial numbness on the right half of my face, and then some numbness in my right arm and slight sensations in my left arm. After having continuous panic attacks for days (and googling to no end.) I broke down and begged my poor boyfriend (who has been dealing with this nonstop for weeks now.) to take me to the emergency room.
After waiting for five hours, I was told that this was due to stress and anxiety. I specifically asked the doctor about a brain tumor and he did some tests - no scans, just an exam. He told me straight out "this is not a brain tumor." I even asked him if he was sure. He said he was sure enough that he wasn't going to order a scan and that there was no need to "radiate my brain".
I felt better that night, but the next day it all came back. The strange sensations have now spread to my right leg as well. My motor skills are fine, they're just feelings that I have. I don't believe that anxiety can cause such strong physical symptoms no matter how many people tell me it can. My boyfriend tries so hard to tell me that it's stress, but my reaction is "how does he know?" I logic myself into not believeing the doctor because "misdiagnosis happens."
Aside from the weird sensations/numbness on the right side of my body, my memory hasn't been as good, I'm having a bit of trouble remembering the right words (but it comes back to me in less than two seconds) and I still have some vertigo.
I'm just at my wits end. I cannot continue to live my life like this. I am in a constant state of panic and anxiety. Can anxiety really cause one sided numbness like this? Can these symptoms really just be anxiety?
I am currently trying to book an appointment with my old psychaitrist who I haven't seen in over a year, but meanwhile I am just in horrible shape. I see a brain tumor commercial and I think it's a sign. I feel the tiniest sense of ANYTHING and I assume it's connected. My friend just told me a story about a friend of hers' sister who had a tumor and would've died if she had waited even a week longer to go to the hospital. This all just makes everything worse.
I'm too scared to go to another doctor. asides from the fact that everyone in my life is telling me that I'm being ridiculous. I just.. need help. I don't believe that anxiety can cause this - how can anxiety cause these sensations on only one side? I really feel like I'm going to have a seizure and die any second.
Steph
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